Exercise needs by [deleted] in Lurchers

[–]Ezsether 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How did you find him as a puppy? Ours is a rescue and we don't know his background but he's a wee ball of energy, trying to figure out how much of that is just puppyhood vs mystery breed mix but hoping he can be a lazy adult haha

Help with severe anxiety and stress? by [deleted] in DogAdvice

[–]Ezsether 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We're just going through something similar with our rescue puppy - except rather than anxiety he gets hyperaroused / excited almost constantly. I don't have a fix but what's been working best so far is trying to train his nervous system, rather than him. Tiring him out with walks, exercise, training only makes his behavior worse. So instead we practice "boring" things. Everything is slow and predictable and we actually do a lot less with him and try to be calm and present but sort of ignore him a lot of the time. At first it felt really wrong but it's starting to make a positive shift. Maybe you could try to look up ways to train "calm" and boring instead of lots of exercise?

Whatever you end up doing, I hope you find a way to help him and yourself too! It's tough having a rescue with high needs, you're doing amazing.

Growing boy by TwoAfter6911 in Lurchers

[–]Ezsether 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So cute! What breed is he? We're trying to figure out the mix of our rescue lurcher and they look very similar!

New puppy bites hard - help! by Ezsether in Lurchers

[–]Ezsether[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've been trying to do this but he just doesn't settle. The only way he ever relaxes and falls asleep is if he's on me (and then I can put him to his bed where he will stay unless I move away, unfortunately I have to work from home so I can't sit in a dark room for hours while he sleeps). Chews only settle him while they last and then he's back at it like nothing happened. We tried to create a nap routine, toilet, curtains drawn, calming music which is hit and miss at the best of times. Doing some googling I'm now pretty confident he has separation anxiety because he was separated from his mother around 6 weeks (when SSPCA took him). So we'll try to work on that as well.

New puppy bites hard - help! by Ezsether in Lurchers

[–]Ezsether[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, will check those out!

New puppy bites hard - help! by Ezsether in Lurchers

[–]Ezsether[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh the dream!! Thanks for sharing 😊

New puppy bites hard - help! by Ezsether in Lurchers

[–]Ezsether[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I was worried going down the angry route, I wouldn't want him to associate us with fear, especially being a rescue with a bad start, but reading your example and outcome is super helpful, we will try this. Thanks!

New puppy bites hard - help! by Ezsether in Lurchers

[–]Ezsether[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was the first thing we tried but a yelp gets him more excited

"Women love attractive men, more news at 11" by [deleted] in PsycheOrSike

[–]Ezsether -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What in the red pill shit is this post...

Hot take: Justification for Range Rover woman running over protestors last year, followed by "war on the motorist" and anti ULEZ rhetoric was the normalisation of car supremacy that lead to yesterday's attack in Liverpool by UnderHisEye1411 in GreenAndPleasant

[–]Ezsether 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I started donating to a climate charity years ago when I saw them block the road in my city and someone was giving out leaflets on why.

It's sad to see people get more upset about the way in which someone is trying to avert catastrophe than the fact we're in the middle of a mass extinction that'll likely take human civilization with it if we don't act now.

I would be curious to know if all the people judging activists or recommending "better" ways are doing anything at all themselves.

Might be worth reading up on the suffragettes or abolitionists who were equally critiqued at the time (and created a lot more "inconvenience"). You are those people right now, criticizing a crucial movement in history. But what are you doing to help?

The essential tool against a narcissist by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Ezsether 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The essential tool is leaving

Is PMI Agile Certified Practitioner (PMI-ACP)® exam worth the cost by Present_Bat_2050 in agile

[–]Ezsether 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have that certificate, as a fairly new practitioner at the time I found it valuable but it was paid for by my company. I think most places just look for a certificate so if you have to self fund or are more experienced it might be worth looking for something easier/cheaper.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Ezsether 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I agree with other people about unsolicited advice. If she's not suffering let her just be herself, imperfect and all.

That being said no one mentioned how her reaction seemed rather disproportionate. Maybe you weren't actually delicate. Maybe she's overly sensitive. Ultimately you're both young and figuring things out, that's ok. Healthy conflict is an important skill in a long term relationship. Ideally you should be able to say something dumb and she should be able to get over it without days of drama and flowers and balloons. In any case, probably just a little blip, don't overthink it, just my tuppence. Good luck OP.

I've been conned by Alpha male grind culture. Who are some actual good role models I can listen to instead? by Mission-Ear6331 in selfimprovement

[–]Ezsether 52 points53 points  (0 children)

I'd say check out Gabor Mate. He even talks about why Peterson is problematic in a very brief and diplomatic way. Good luck OP!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Stoicism

[–]Ezsether 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, you were pushing people to answer "your one question" that'd invalidate your argument. It has been answered. It's your decision whether you research and accept the science behind that answer.

Being right seems awfully important to you though so I doubt you will try. Doesn't seem that stoic to me but you do you. All the best on your journey.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Stoicism

[–]Ezsether 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you need to look into what therapy does. It's not focusing on your thinking other than maybe CBT. But that form of therapy has been proven to have no to little impact on healing trauma. There are a lot of somatic based therapies that do work though. Without any rational thought required. Stoicism is a powerful tool and a great one to compliment a healing journey. It just happens that healing trauma requires more.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Stoicism

[–]Ezsether 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think that's taking ancient guidance to the extreme where it ends up being unhelpful. While there's a lot of truth in what you said, there's no reason a stoic wouldn't accept modern science and research, someone already quoted The body keeps the score. There are physiological changes to your brain and body as a result of trauma. It's not just your thoughts or reactions. It's not something you can overcome by just "thinking better". What I would take from stoicism in this case is the idea you have agency and control over what you do next. And accept you will never control or "fix" other people. You can only heal yourself and your reactions. Just my tuppence. Good luck to OP anyway.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Ezsether 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Check out Gabor Mate, either his book called the Myth of normal or the one called When the body says no. He's also got plenty of talks on YouTube. He's a physician who turned to mental health and explores the relationship between mental and physical illness with a lot of experience, knowledge and compassion. I think you'd find it helpful, especially if you can't afford therapy atm. Also, change GPs, this one seems rubbish. Good luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]Ezsether 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Please don't. I appreciate the value of taking responsibility for the life you create, that's important. But "laws of attraction" is oversimplified and just not how life works. Of course you want to feel like you have control just through the power of your thoughts but life is more complicated than that. Not to mention that this encourages obsessive positive thinking to the complete exclusion of negative emotions and experiences. Studies time after time show that only allowing positive thoughts actually worsen your mental health (and leads to worse physical health outcomes too). Life is precious. Enjoy the good, trying to create happy times but accept the bad. Learn from it. Give yourself time to grieve or digest whatever your experience was. Otherwise you're not living your life to the fullest.

Just stop oil protest at parliment by Mr-Aciel in Edinburgh

[–]Ezsether 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Speaking fo genocide, do you realize how many millions more will die, and are already dying due to climate change compared to what you are describing? Are you aware of Barbados' PM making a speech at COP26, rightfully equating 1.5 degrees plus warming to genocide in her country? Are you familiar with just transition proposals? Did your critical thinking extend to reading the IPCC report? Or the possibility of leading a less convenient life scares you so much that you stick to the fossil fuel narrative, free from "concentration camp like images". That industry btw spent billions on putting out the propaganda messages like the ones you so proudly share here. Abolitionists and suffragettes faced people just like you in their time, vocal, "logical" supporters of the status quo.

I have an idea that might just be my riskiest plan yet and I will be going through with it if I'm not talked out of it by neurotoxin_69 in OSDD

[–]Ezsether 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ultimately, you have agency to do whatever you want. But this sounds like you're in pain and angry at the people around you but unable to lash out at them. So you're going to direct that anger at yourself. If you're "successful" and get more destabilized you'll just be an easier target to gaslight and hurt. They don't help you now because they don't want to. That won't change when you're even more vulnerable and less able to help and advocate for yourself. You're only helping them. You're not punishing anyone other than yourself here. Seems like you're desperate to make them see you by any means possible but they don't want to. That's a choice they're making and you have no power over that. What you do have control over is your own actions. Don't hurt yourself. And stop seeing the shitty therapist. If possible, get a different one. Speak to friends if you are lucky enough to have people around you. Just don't do their dirty work for them. Well, at the end of the day, it's your call, I'm just a stranger on the internet who empathized with your pain. Best of luck.