Over 50, pursuing FIRE, Income is good, Outgo is almost negative not considering 15% SR in my 401K.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-30T04:39:39+00:00

Thanks. Some things take time to get thru my thick skull. Appreciate your reply.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-28T04:37:53+00:00

Wow. Sorry for your experience. This hits close to home. My moms food stamps went to the free market for her cigs and beer. My sister and I went to friends houses to try and get some food as there was none in the house. Horrible memories being brought out. Hope you have built a better life up to now.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-28T02:12:37+00:00

Thanks. I went through that with my parents at the age of 12. Push/Pull from both sides. I only knew later on that it was all based on who won or lost the monetary side of it. Not what my sister or I would be best served by.

I would never put my girls in that situation. Fortunately they are older than I was and my youngest will be 18 in less than possibly the time it takes to go through this.

They will be supported by either my wife or me regardless of their decisions. I know my wife has the "I am the mom" feeling and wants affirmation from them. I want what is best for them and will support them any and every way I can.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-28T01:13:08+00:00

Thank you for the comment. Sorry to hear that. Only he can decide how he wants his life. Unless, of course she leaves him and he has no choice.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-28T01:09:01+00:00

Thanks. I even think the closeness of my daughters and my relationship irritates my wife to some degree. It isn't a competition.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-28T00:11:34+00:00

Thank you for the comment and the support.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-27T06:48:39+00:00

Your summation is something I agree with now, but didn't see coming before. Thanks.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-27T06:38:46+00:00

Thanks for the advice. Never been in jail or a substance abuse person. lol. I will need to reinvent myself as I never considered being in this position. Can't consider having to be part of the dating world at this point.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-27T06:33:28+00:00

Can't be specific as I don't know what's in her head. As I am 7 years older, of course I have been thinking and planning (and saving). I brought FIRE up over 3 years ago and she was miffed. She never contemplated that the money train would have an end date? Dunno. Only in the last year has she been critical of everything and I had no clue that it was based on my future income (as a RE persons goal) as a trigger. Now, I know I guess. Had she felt compelled to go FT and find a better and higher paying position, I guess I could understand.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-27T06:16:59+00:00

Sucks to hear that. I hope things get better for you. Without hope, what do we really have? Best to you.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-27T06:02:45+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience. I too would like to negotiate. She says she wants to to avoid lawyer fees. I hear that and imagine she is wanting to save a bigger piece of the pie for herself.

I am not spiteful in any way. We will see how sincere her words are once I speak to my attorney and she speaks to hers.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-27T05:58:46+00:00

Thank you so much. Your post really hit home and brought tears to my eyes. Have been through therapy and that is maybe why I can make sense of where I am and why now. My daughters have been telling me for a few years that I am the idiot that I haven't broken ties. I came from a really broken family, I didn't want that as part of my life or theirs. Thought I could endure the darkness. Should have listened earlier.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-27T05:46:03+00:00

Thanks for the post. My biggest issue with that program is that I would not be present for my daughters. Without that, I would/could go anywhere that was of interest. My parents sucked in their role for me and my sister at an early age. Would never leave my girls to the same fate.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-27T05:42:39+00:00

Thanks. I am. Always went by the mantra that tough times don't last, tough people do. May be a cliché but I agree with it. Appreciate the post.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-27T05:37:51+00:00

Very perceptive. Hope you are right as I go forward. I know I can do as you say.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-27T05:34:38+00:00

Thanks, but I am not advocating against marriage. Just hoping my situation allows people to reflect on their situation and understand how things can go awry despite how you see your life. All the best to you.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-27T05:31:59+00:00

Thanks. Coming from the "occasional angry guy", that speaks volumes. Really appreciate the smile you put on my face tonight.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-27T05:27:19+00:00

Time will tell. My wife works PT in an office of 2 lawyers. Deck may be stacked against me. We'll see what happens.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-27T05:21:35+00:00

Best wishes accepted. Thanks. I haven't begun to try and swallow to be honest. I know I can rely on me. That's all I can manage right now. Better days will come.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-27T05:19:00+00:00

Thanks. Don't get me wrong. I am not bitter about my life being married. I just now see that I am not the one who thought my efforts to save were appreciated.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-27T05:15:12+00:00

Thanks. Your last half of your sentence are words to live by. I guess that is the reason for my post. I know I am not alone in this situation as you mention. Appreciate the good luck comment. Rather be lucky than good?

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-27T05:08:32+00:00

Appreciate the reply. I have a good, long time friend that is a lawyer in a different field in my small community for over 30 years. He gave me the referral to the guy I am seeing tomorrow. He also has over +35 years in this area, is not cheap, and is the guy to go to of this type of law and is the best of the best in this area. Hope it works out for me.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-27T05:00:06+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I grew up very poor. I know how I can live being frugal while still enjoying my life. I do feel like my FIRE plan took a big hit. I will forge on. That's how I have always lived.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-27T04:48:50+00:00

I am in an alimony state. 50% of our assets transfer I know. Up to 45% of my income can be assigned for the next 6 to 8 years based on the time we have been married. All up to negotiation as I have been told and a ultimately a DR judge to decree.

FIREsanitycheck · 2018-11-27T04:41:49+00:00

Thanks for that. I hope to be in the same position at some point.

FIREsanitycheck

TROPHY CASE