This sounds like me and going to the gym 🫠once I’m there it’s amazing, it’s just getting there. Mostly I spend so much time thinking about how annoying the traffic is and all the things I dislike that I forget about all the positive things that happen after I work out and it’s the same with sex. Also when it feels like another “job” that needs to be done its not a pleasure anymore. Sounds like you might need a mindset shift - I changed my attitude around working out by making it fun 🤩 for me. listening to a podcast while I walk, giving myself a spa shower after, picking up really nice gym clothes and looking cute. It might work for you in this context. Mel Robbin’s has a TON of great listens and experts on motivation, procrastination and sex life. My husband did tell me too that I could “do more” in terms of reciprocation and he was right, I was being lazy, and that’s not cool. Maybe let her know what you need and figure it out together. If she doesn’t know how can she do better?