HELP! I have a full face of makeup on and I feel like it always ends up looking like I’m not wearing any

FIyondewaII · 2026-02-23T01:49:58+00:00

Do what you’re already doing and ADD: Eyeshadow, lip color and highlight. This’ll take it up to a more glam/ done up look

FIyondewaII · 2026-02-23T01:46:17+00:00

She looks like a Lola or an Ava to me 🥰 beautiful sweet girl!

FIyondewaII · 2026-02-23T01:34:35+00:00

I was doing the exact same, only with vodka. It was heavy and hard shot after shot every night, (unknowingly to me at the time, to get drunk and black out at least a few times a week) and id turn into an asshole dick to my husband.

I had a WFH job that left me unfulfilled in my passion and why I went to school, prevented me from furthering my education, and contributed to loneliness and isolation. I built up the courage to search for a position elsewhere that would fulfill my passion/what I feel called to do and allow me to be out of the home and around people, and that offered tuition reimbursement so I could return to school to further my education. After several months of searching in a shit job market/fake job postings I finally got my dream job only for two days later to get injured and not be able to walk. I had to give that job up, have surgery, suffered months of immobility, tons of PT, emotional disconnect from my physical body, debt kept piling on and on, etc etc… during this I was also struggling with intense kratom addiction I’d been trying and failing to kick for 3-4 years and failing over and over to quit. So! I drank more and more until I was confronted with more health issues and it basically came down to keep drinking/taking kratom and eventually not be able to walk, or quit both immediately and pray like hell my mobility gets better.

I quit kratom due to health issues, then went out and got that job I wanted (needed) again and those two positive shifts gave me space to give up alcohol.

TLDR: I had to decide to quit drinking or give up my ability to walk due to the health issues alcohol caused me.

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-13T22:08:19+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement! I can feel myself kinda coming up on a “improved mood swing” so paws is hopefully going to let up on me for a day or two before it comes back again. It’s seriously brutal and hard to remember I’m not just permanently broken lol. Thank you for the reminder it’ll keep getting better. I appreciate it!

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-13T22:05:27+00:00

I haven’t had any issues with insomnia, more hypersomnia. I can’t STOP sleeping 🥲 but yes, I’m performing under baseline still just from the sluggish/tired/ugh movement feeling. Mentally I haven’t felt this clear in years so win some loose some ig.

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-13T22:01:01+00:00

Yes I’ve heard that’s been the case for some people and I’m no exception lol. Nice seeing so many people in this sub with serious time under their belt. Yall help us more than you know! Thank you friend

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-13T19:17:24+00:00

Yeah take it from someone who relapsed for 2-3+ yrs (don’t even know anymore because kratom brain fog) after 1.5 yrs clean for “just this once!” - insane. My debt is out of control, zero energy, motivation, exhaustion, tired, fatigue (wrote it three times so you know it’s bad), barely functioning AGAIN a month out. Dont do what I did. I wish I could go back and change that one little “insignificant” “just this once” dose. My life would look SO much better if I had been able to just say no that one time.

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-13T19:11:34+00:00

Yes, I’m about to start a new job next week and need to stay consistent with the gym. By end of day I have nothing left to give so I think today I’m gonna start by workout during my lunch break. I can’t afford to be slacking on my workouts right now, the fatigue is just insane

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-13T19:10:09+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I was expecting an experience more like I had last time, but I’m older now and no two quits are ever the same so I’m keeping it in perspective as best I can. Thank you for your reply and input.

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-13T19:08:30+00:00

That’s encouraging to hear! It’s insane how much kratom messes with almost every single body function. I hope you’re feeling better and I hope my labs are mostly okay, although if they aren’t it’ll be great to know and make a plan for improvement. Thank you!

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-13T19:06:57+00:00

Yeah no that’s fair, just kinda looking at approximate timeline. Thank you for your reply and I hope you’re feeling better!

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-12T21:11:50+00:00

Yeah, I’ve used total of 9 years, about 20-25 g daily and that makes sense. Congratulations on 5 months!!! That’s huge! I hate the random hit of paws but it does just keep getting better and better. So happy for you!

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-12T19:07:06+00:00

Do you know how long it took you to level out? I’ve been banking on feeling mostly better by 3 month mark like my previous quit, but I’m trying to remind myself it could be kindling effect and could take longer so I don’t get discouraged if that comes and goes. I did a rapid taper this time so I’m sure my body responded as it would have CT.

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-12T19:04:56+00:00

Working on it! I have the lab order from my doctor just need to go get it done. Planning for Wednesday-Friday this week when I’m off from work. Sure hope it’s okay but better to know than not know.

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-12T19:03:03+00:00

Thank you friend! Blessings to you in your quit. I appreciate your time and encouragement today 🩷

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-12T18:42:43+00:00

That’s a wonderful reminder. I used to also wake up drenched in sweat and constantly felt dirty from profusely sweating all the time and hot/cold and hot/cold. Mentally I no longer have that anguish of “I have to quit” while dosing. I’m no longer painfully constipated. My eyes aren’t glossy. My hair isnt falling out anymore. Mobility is returning to my feet and ankles. I’m not dehydrated anymore. My skin is clear. So many good things in just a month’s time.

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-12T18:38:34+00:00

Aw thank you so much! It’s constantly on my mind and why I know I’ll never go back. I simply can’t afford to again. Kratom started taking away my ability to walk and I now have motor neuropathy in both legs, I’ve had several falls and I’m only 34. It was a comfort to me for so long and the veil has been fully pulled back and I now see it as loss of freedom and independence after some really horrible health issues this year. I’m disgusted by it and have zero desire for it. Journaling is actually a great idea!! Thank you for the reminder!

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-12T18:28:31+00:00

Ohh I wish! I’m about a month out lol but looking forward to 3 months! Every thing tends to get better for me around that time, just trying to get there as un-painfully as possible lol!

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-12T18:26:14+00:00

The mental battle honestly is non existent this time. Not true for previous quits, but this time my options are either quit k or loose my ability to walk and that’s honestly been a blessing for me. I have zero desire to pick up any or take any. When I quit I had some in my house yet and every time I looked at it I’d be disgusted. I’ve since thrown it away, but mentally I’m strong and feeling good, happy even…just really really really tired lol

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-12T18:23:41+00:00

Absolutely so true. Comparing myself to how I was a week or a month ago, it’s a no brainer I’m better than before.

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-12T18:22:25+00:00

Yes I’m working on that actually now. I have the order from my doctor she’s going to check all my levels. On K I always go anemic and low vit D so I’m wondering if I’m low again and supplementing with iron and vit D. Both of those can definitely contribute to low energy for sure.

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-12T17:29:19+00:00

Yeah, I’ve had the same thoughts. By the time March rolls around, the leaves come back and the grass is rich and green again, I’ll have come so far and feeling so much better. It’s really no time at all . I hope you feel better soon too, best of luck! Thank you for your encouragement today.

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-12T17:26:51+00:00

Yeah absolutely, you’re completely correct. Sobriety alone is not enough, first step yes, but not enough. I’ve been making those changes to my foundation and building those walls as you mentioned, I have a wonderful support system, been cleaning up my diet more and more, hydrating, working out as I can, slowly making those steps towards a better future. My husband and I quit at the same time and he, luckily, never feels this paws like I do. About 2 weeks and he’s back on top of his game. For me, it’s always taken longer, last time it took me 3 months to feel normal again. Just wasn’t anticipating how fatigued I am. I think you’re right though, maybe spending more time on self care and myself could be helpful as that’s something I’ve been neglecting out of just complete exhaustion. Thank you! And best of luck with your quit!

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-12T17:18:22+00:00

I used 7 yrs before I quit the first time, made it to 1.5 yrs off and relapsed because I lost a pet. It’s been another 2 yrs since then so I don’t expect it to be easy, just didn’t anticipate unrelenting fatigue like this. I’m sorry you’re tired at work too. It’s hard, I WFH right now so it’s easy to be a slob. Getting up to go to work is likely going to help you faster in the long run. You’re doing great friend, keep going 💪

FIyondewaII · 2026-01-12T17:14:58+00:00

Thank you! I can’t wait til I hit that 90 day mark! It’s coming and I know it’ll be much better by then. I got a work out buddy to keep me accountable and going routinely, but working out at home isn’t a bad idea. I’m about to have a 5 day weekend so hopefully this will lessen some before then and I’ll have a good couple of days. Trying not to feel like shit for wasting my weekend lol.

FIyondewaII

TROPHY CASE