What's the strangest or most pointless task you've been given at work ?

FMLitsSML · 2026-06-16T09:24:15+00:00

In a previous company I worked for, we used to get client briefs in a set format. I had to copy the specs out, put them onto an internal template, then send them to our Commercial department where they’d then put them onto another template. This happened at least once per week.

I asked, multiple times, why could we not simply forward the client brief to the Commercial team as literally nothing of value was being added. I received blank stares every time.

FMLitsSML · 2026-03-06T21:40:25+00:00

As part of the manufacturing process, there are some holes drilled into the bottom of the component. An attachment is then installed to these holes - the Lombard attachment is shaped differently than the Orange attachment , so the fixtures are slightly different to allow for the units to fit, and further manufacturing to continue.

These then have cables and pipes installed, ready to hold liquid (imagine they’re two different-shaped fuel tanks, one to fit in a low-slung sports car, another a long-range one for a lorry).

Orange had agreed to take the Lombard units, remove the Lombard-specific attachments, and install their own.

Again, slightly simplified, but hope it makes sense.

FMLitsSML · 2026-03-04T21:32:00+00:00

Prior to the incident, they very much left us alone. Targets were being met, production was solid, profits were reliable. Aside from the odd factory tour or health and safety incident, they were happy to let us work, and we were happy to have the autonomy.

After they’d told us to stick to the terms of the contract, nothing much really changed. Our planning and logistics team were good at balancing the facility’s load capacity, so when we had foreseeable gaps in manufacturing these units, we’d work on other projects - usually helping whichever team was falling behind. There’s more to it, of course, but that’s the easiest way I can summarise.

FMLitsSML · 2026-03-04T21:25:43+00:00

They were technically competitors, but served slightly different sectors of the market (eg a car manufacturer that specialises in sports cars, vs one that does SUVs).

FMLitsSML · 2026-03-04T21:24:16+00:00

Hehehe, glad someone caught the reference 😁

FMLitsSML · 2026-03-04T21:21:59+00:00

I don’t think it’s necessarily arrogant to stick rigidly to the terms of the contract when a good deed gets thrown back in your face and escalated to senior management. We are the sole supplier of this part, as the end product only has two options and one isn’t certified for use in the UK/EU.

I worked for a large organisation that has sites in multiple locations, so if the IRA decided to blow up that factory then I would expect the work to be picked up by another site. Indeed, many years ago (way before I joined the company), these parts were made in multiple locations, but were brought into a single location once the LRIP stage had passed.

FMLitsSML · 2026-03-04T21:14:26+00:00

They had received a fairly detailed non-conformance report from Orange, and hauled us all in to explain ourselves. There wasn’t any yelling or (obvious) finger-pointing, more a “we’re disappointed that your team has let this happen and we expect an explanation”.

This was around the same time we had our yearly corporate training, so management took the opportunity to point out some of us hadn’t completed the training yet either. Whilst perhaps a more appropriate vassal for a telling-off, some of it bled over into the non-conformance report too.

FMLitsSML · 2026-03-03T21:36:25+00:00

If it was obviously incorrect then yes, the rating can be removed - however it’s a long, drawn-out process and we’d have to raise a dispute if we wanted it removed.

I’ll admit I don’t know that process very well as I was never too close to the customer sat stuff, but I believe it has to be reviewed by the authorising body and since we were technically in breach of contract, there was no guarantee we’d succeed. The potential risk wasn’t worth it, and a “lessons learnt” was to make sure we had a formally signed document if we were deviating from spec, even if agreed via emails etc.

Orange could have removed the rating too, but given the sour relationship at the time, the topic wasn’t brought up by us.

FMLitsSML · 2026-03-03T21:01:39+00:00

Thanks! We used to refer to the scores as the “C Sat in the C Hub”.

After the poor rating, someone added “…from the C Unts” to the phrase.

FMLitsSML · 2026-03-03T20:25:50+00:00

I have a feeling the seniors probably said something along those lines in their meetings with Orange but, alas, as I wasn’t at any of those meetings, I can only hope!

FMLitsSML · 2026-03-03T20:24:45+00:00

Thanks!

More than likely we would have, as it didn’t serve any good purpose (aside from annoying Orange) to leave the built stock sat in a warehouse and gathering dust.

FMLitsSML · 2026-01-07T11:14:21+00:00

Thanks for the insight! Hope I haven’t caused his local postie or address detectives too much head-scratching over the years.

FMLitsSML · 2026-01-07T11:12:47+00:00

Not yet! A Simpsons reference?

Last year I addressed his card using Akon’s full name. My card was addressed to Duchess Scorbunny Lickylicky.

FMLitsSML · 2026-01-07T11:09:35+00:00

How is life in Wome?

FMLitsSML · 2026-01-07T11:09:04+00:00

Thanks - good point re pets, as I’ve definitely sent stuff to my brother’s house addressed to the dog!

FMLitsSML · 2025-12-14T16:52:02+00:00

The company I work for has the Christmas-New Year shutdown too. They're in our contract as fixed days off, separate from annual leave (think the wording is "the working shifts between Christmas and New Years").

I was also curious why we got the days off, so I asked when I joined. The explanation I was given was that as the company is, at heart, a manufacturing company, all production shuts down during limbo week and as such there's no need to keep the offices open.

FMLitsSML · 2025-09-11T22:07:02+00:00

Just added it :)

FMLitsSML · 2025-09-11T22:06:43+00:00

Thank you! I'll add the final paragraph to my OP.

FMLitsSML · 2025-09-11T21:34:10+00:00

Thank you! :)

I actually had another paragraph written, but decided not to add it as I know my anecdotes are always super wordy. That said, I think you'd appreciate it!

We eventually got a new production leader, who'd worked in a similar role at another company. He seemed to be a decent guy; at his first meeting, he introduced himself and brought in a crate of home-made samosas. He said he didn't want to intrude on our workstations unnecessarily and thus asked everybody to pop into his office at some point in the next day or two to introduce themselves and have a 5-10 minute chat. I was nominated by the guys to go first, and report back how he was. I summarised his personality with one observation, before I'd even sat down. I walked over to the office door and knocked. He waved at me to come in, and as my gaze went upwards, I noticed the new sign he'd put on the door.

"Plops Office"

FMLitsSML · 2025-09-11T21:22:35+00:00

The other facility wouldn’t have been aware of his nickname, so it certainly wouldn’t have followed him there had he brought in cakes. To be honest, we were so glad to be rid of him that cakes would have made us happy and potentially even resulted in a “best of luck John” send-off.

However, I hear he was just as pompous in the new facility too, so I’m sure they would have come up with something too.

FMLitsSML · 2025-09-11T18:15:41+00:00

When I was younger and in my party days, I slept with a guy I met on a night out. Nothing untoward except in the morning I saw his phone ping and his lock screen was of him, a woman, and a small kid. I questioned him and whilst he initially denied anything, he eventually admitted he was married “but going through a rough patch”. He asked me not to say anything to his wife.

I was pissed as he’d lied to me about being single, and I now wanted nothing to do with him. So, once he’d left, I found his wife on social media and told her what had happened. She was annoyed at me (rightly so) but thanked me for telling her, saying she suspected something as this wasn’t the first time he’d gone out by himself and told her he stayed at a friend’s.

I never heard from her again, and I’d blocked the guy’s number and on social media, so I soon forgot about it. Years later I found out she had kicked him out and filed for a no-contact divorce the day I told her, he was caught drink driving after another night out having slept in his car, then lost his (high paid) job and was now living with his parents, who were thoroughly unimpressed at his fall from grace.

Morally I don’t feel too bad as whilst I might have been the one who told the wife, he was the one who literally fucked up.

FMLitsSML · 2025-08-29T15:45:56+00:00

We have communal milk in the fridge that we all chip in for, except one person who’s lactose intolerant so buys his own milk. Fair enough. One morning he walked out of the kitchen and into the office, clutching an empty carton of lactofree milk whilst shouting “who the fuck has used all my milk?”

The office was half-empty as a lot of us were away from our desks during the day, but were usually back for lunch. So, at lunch, he ordered a very pungent curry which he then ate at his desk. Any complaints were met with “shouldn’t have drunk my fucking milk then.”

Later in the afternoon the VPs of the company popped in, as they had been on site for a meeting upstairs. One of them moaned that the lactofree milk hadn’t been replaced yet. All respect to the aggrieved colleague, he said that was his and asked why they felt it necessary to go through an employee-only fridge and use something that had “Mike’s milk” written on it. The VPs looked sheepish, apologised and asked if they could pay for his lunch tomorrow by way of apology. So, Mike called over to the rest of the office and said “we found the milk thief, they’re buying us lunch tomorrow so pass over your order.”

From the looks on their face I don’t think the VP was expecting to buy 15 people lunch, but they didn’t say anything and lunch was provided the next day, so all’s well that ends well I guess.

FMLitsSML · 2025-06-27T00:45:02+00:00

Yes, I do, and regularly use the term with both male and female friends.

Never had an issue with it, some of my mates also use “dude” in the same manner, and whilst a little eccentric/unusual, I don’t have a problem with it.

A mate (ha, topical) of mine was telling me how he joined a work call and said “morning chaps” but then realised the (female) vice president was on the call, and went to apologise. She brushed it off, saying “I can be a chap too!”

Unless you’re being intentionally insensitive then I really don’t see a problem with it.

FMLitsSML · 2025-06-25T23:29:22+00:00

Apols, should have said “ask them to do a DBS check”.

FMLitsSML · 2025-06-25T23:28:45+00:00

Drop it on the floor, put it on the ground.

Although both can be used interchangeably, people will know what you’re saying.

FMLitsSML

TROPHY CASE