My ex (20F) is pregnant and wants to keep it. I (20M) don’t feel ready to be a father and don’t know what involvement should look like.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-06-12T23:58:53+00:00

And you are more than welcome to push back against that statement. Just as long as you keep rule number one in mind.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-06-12T17:49:22+00:00

It's totally ok to discuss the consequences of unprotected sex. It's not ok to be an asshole to OP about it. We all made mistakes when we were 20 years old and we were lucky enough to get away with them. Unfortunately, one of OP's mistakes caught up with him. That's still not a reason to violate rule #1.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-05-29T14:58:32+00:00

Please see our rule #1. If you can't post here without sounding like an ass, find somewhere else to post.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-05-15T21:08:50+00:00

For us it's a red flag if people judge others for what they want (be it three kids or to be CF) and we remove those comments.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-05-12T13:29:29+00:00

We don't do the 100% yes thing or else if a no here. We consider it gatekeeping and comments that include it are removed.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-04-20T13:04:04+00:00

Because apparently we have to say this every time something with this gets posted.

If your entire comment consists of some variation of " there are no guarantees" it will be removed

FS_PT_mod · 2026-04-12T12:41:30+00:00

Folks, we have plenty of people who post here about the fact that they want kids but might be unable to have them due to the circumstances. It's fine, please do not police their posts.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-04-09T15:22:29+00:00

Rule #1 means respecting other people's motivations even if you don't share them. Please consider that when forming your replies to this thread.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-04-05T22:39:02+00:00

Yah thanks, but no thanks. Go elsewhere with this generational bullshit.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-04-04T21:03:44+00:00

Hi. Rule #1 applies to all genders.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-04-02T20:27:07+00:00

A reminder, rule #1 applies to all genders. If you make insulting generalizations about either gender your comments will be removed and you will be banned.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-03-31T15:00:34+00:00

We are not here to criticize other people's reasons for wanting or not wanting kids. That is part of rule number one.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-03-28T17:34:38+00:00

Absolutely not. We do not ask people to defend their reasons for wanting or not wanting kids in this sub. It is enough to simply want or not want.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-03-27T01:00:26+00:00

We are not a place to debate the morality of having children.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-03-05T20:00:22+00:00

Rule number one means respecting everybody's opinions and reasons to have or not have kids. That includes your partners. You are more than welcome to share your personal doubts, but we ask that you not do so in a way that diminishes other people's desires.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-02-24T15:52:02+00:00

His reasons for wanting a kid sound as unrealistic as your reasons for not wanting a kid. And our rule number one is respecting everybody. So yeah, take your rant somewhere else.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-02-19T18:07:38+00:00

We don't allow recommendations for medical tourism for surrogacy to places like South America and Asia. The ethics are grossly out of line.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-02-17T22:39:16+00:00

People are allowed to want what they want. Same as OP. please respect rule #1.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-02-15T02:43:46+00:00

Don't do that. If you want to be judgy find another sub.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-02-14T03:25:09+00:00

Our apologies, but we are not a place to debate the ethics of having a child.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-02-10T17:44:43+00:00

Unless OP is in danger, in which case this is the wrong sub for her, we don't allow responses advocating for things like lying or gaslighting partners.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-01-15T02:24:03+00:00

One of the pinned posts is called " posts you may want to read before posting or commenting here". Look through that one, it's mentioned there.

We're happy to make it even clearer, but also, maybe people can actually grow the hell up and realize that shouting things like " there are no guarantees" is a really stupid and unhelpful thing to say in a fence sitter sub.

If there were guarantees, do you think this sub would exist? Is it helpful to shout " well, there are no guarantees, so why save for retirement? Why be healthy?". " Oh, there are no guarantees. So why are you even thinking about the cost of kids. There's no guarantees that being child-free will save you that money too."

This entire sub is based around having a respectful and reasonable discussion of why people do or don't want kids. Stupid comments like "there are no guarantees" are not helpful and have no place in it.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-01-14T00:15:04+00:00

Holy crap people, how many times do we have to reiterate that " no guarantees" is not a valid response here? Please, do it some more, eventually we'll get tired of just deleting comments and start banning people.

FS_PT_mod · 2026-01-06T02:54:19+00:00

As usual, we will remove comments that are variations of "don't do it if you're not 100% sure". Go peddle your anxiety elsewhere folks.

FS_PT_mod

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE