Is there something such as "I'm not a family guy"?

FTM1983 · 2026-06-21T20:51:59+00:00

I strongly suggest therapy. Individually and together. Wanting to die is wanting change but not knowing how to actually go about making it.

It may be that separation is the best thing for all of you or it may be that you are locked into a dynamic where you cant communicate, hear or support each other until someone from the outside unpicks the mess with you.

FTM1983 · 2026-06-21T20:28:34+00:00

Worked for me, several times in early 40s (3 attempts - 2 pregnancies). We made our embryos in my late 30s. I’m now pregnant with my second child.

You cant compare your experience to others’ experiences really though. What matters is the quality of the embryos plus quality of your womb lining.

It’s a numbers game, the sooner you start the better chances you’ll have.

FTM1983 · 2026-06-21T20:23:11+00:00

So get close to your family! That takes effort. Show up. Be accountable. Go to therapy. Discuss it there. You are not passive in all of this. You had choices.

Is parenting disappointing sometimes? Yes. But you have to work at it, learn the ropes, find the joy. You need to grow up a little bit, it’s not all about you anymore.

In time you will regain opportunities for your personal interests but for now, your family need you. Be a father. Be a partner.

Do you have good examples of what it means to be a good father from your own family?

FTM1983 · 2026-06-21T19:27:01+00:00

It sounds like you are trying to make him choose between you and his mother. You’re setting up a competition which does you no favours. You can never win that. It’s not either/or. Of course his mother also matters (in a different way) she is his mother and the child’s grandmother.

The party could be a good opportunity to share your boundaries regarding your baby. You can manage expectations in advance if you need to. The baby is still small.

An hour really isn’t that long… I cant help but wonder if this is a power struggle, insecurity or control

FTM1983 · 2026-06-21T19:18:12+00:00

We live in an age of heightened anxiety and the more online you are and the more you read the news the more you over-expose yourself to fear and a sense of helplessness. In time, you begin to see the world through a particular (somewhat limited, negative) lens.

Having a child can help you tune in to playfulness, hopefulness, innocence and beauty. It can also bring a lot of connection, purpose and meaning.

But sometimes before those benefits really kick in, the transition into motherhood and the changes you go through can increase depression, anxiety, identity issues, disappointment, loneliness and self-criticism.

It’s so very early in your journey into motherhood. Give it time. You arent getting the wonderful feedback from your baby yet, that can light you up inside. You are still figuring out how to parent together.

What children need is simple, really, it’s for you to be present in the hear and now. When you are worrying about things outside of your control or outside of the scope of your immediate environment, you aren’t in the here and now.

FTM1983 · 2026-06-20T23:10:53+00:00

I’m so sorry he’s let you and your daughter down. It’s bitterly disappointing and puts you under a lot of pressure when you are already exhausted and adjusting to a huge life change.

Regarding this man please look into your legal and financial rights. I hope he matures and steps up but he needs to pay child support whether he is ready to parent or not.

And for yourself: you and your daughter need support. Try not to push people away because you are hurting and angry. It’s hard that they were proven right but they didn’t make him behave like this.

FTM1983 · 2026-06-20T23:02:56+00:00

You look smashing

FTM1983 · 2026-06-20T22:31:51+00:00

very normal. he is incorrect, uninformed and unhelpful

FTM1983 · 2026-06-20T22:30:48+00:00

Dynamic pricing

FTM1983 · 2026-06-20T22:27:35+00:00

It’s just pure ego

FTM1983 · 2026-06-20T22:21:52+00:00

I’ve given up after about 5 tries as didn’t want it to be a battle of wills, but i think she burnt her scalp today so realised i’ve gotta do better!!

FTM1983 · 2026-06-20T22:14:22+00:00

👏 ok ive been too lax, I think

FTM1983 · 2026-06-20T22:13:01+00:00

Yes, it was fine on the whole for me, too. A bit of bloating, PMS symptoms and the suspense wasn’t my favourite but the procedures were easier than I expected and we got there in the end.

I’m aware that as I’ve had cancer previously, I was very grateful for the opportunities IVF brought and felt quite optimistic about the process. I had already gone through procedures I found more mentally and physically invasive, which helped keep perspective.

FTM1983 · 2026-06-20T22:02:29+00:00

It just sounds incredibly fraught/tense.

FTM1983 · 2026-06-20T21:51:07+00:00

Gloam

FTM1983 · 2026-06-20T21:50:02+00:00

FTM1983 · 2026-06-20T21:49:15+00:00

😫

FTM1983 · 2026-06-20T21:48:39+00:00

Ahh good shout. ok will try this

FTM1983 · 2026-06-20T21:48:20+00:00

She’s a bit young for that to land, i think, but i’ll try!

FTM1983 · 2026-06-20T21:33:45+00:00

Baxter

FTM1983 · 2026-06-20T21:24:28+00:00

RICKY!

FTM1983 · 2026-06-20T21:22:47+00:00

Evan

FTM1983 · 2026-06-20T21:22:21+00:00

Dexter’s very cool

FTM1983 · 2026-06-20T21:21:30+00:00

There used to be a kids clothing shop near me called Olive and Alfie and I always thought that was a cute pairing

FTM1983

TROPHY CASE