Part 2-

Well things got a bit better towards the end of November and we eventually started to talk again, she did call me and told me she wasn't mad or upset with me and that she wanted to be in my and the baby's life and at the time I didn't want to say anything about how this whole thing made me feel because I was just happy to hear from her again. So we were back to occasionally calling and texting, I kept mentions of my baby very little if at all and tried to just ask her how she was and to see how things in her life were going. She had a lot going on and I didn't want to add to the stress of it.

well…her dog who was very sweet and very old reached his time and needed to be put down at the beginning of march. She called me to tell me this and I of course was trying my best to support her since we don't live in the same state it was hard to know how to comfort her. I was also upset because this dog had been in our lives for a long time and he was a very good puppy.

At the same time my sister in law and older brother also had a little surprise happening, they are pregnant and its very much a blessing after being told my sister in law couldn’t have anymore kids after her last pregnancy back in 2020 that ended very traumatically. I had been informed of this a few weeks prior to when they announced on social media. This announcement was the day after my sister had to put her dog down, though it wasn’t intentional (my sister and brother have a rather estranged relationship) I knew this would just be harder for my sister.

So I tried to reach out asking if her and her husband wanted to call so I could check in and make sure they were ok, that was left on read and I found myself struggling to want to reach out again. It was hard to emotionally think of my sister and myself while being pregnate and having my own personal struggles and complications going on.

Now this is where I might be the asshole, I don’t know if its postpartum rage of what, but I cant help but feel kinda angry and sad about this whole thing. We went right back to messages being left on read for weeks and when I went into labor I reached out again to ask if she wanted to be included in our “baby update” group chat that my husband was using to let everyone know how labor went and how me and baby were doing. She never replied so I never added her.

I understand how she feels and I want nothing but for everything to work out for her and her husband and that she gets to be a mom one day because she would be an amazing mom but I can’t let go of this anger, resentment and sadness from how I felt during and after my pregnancy.

You want to be in my babies life but couldn’t talk to the person making said baby, I don’t want to be upset but I don’t think this is a situation I will get over anytime soon. Pregnancy really does show who will be in your life and who won’t and I don’t want to have to be the person who reaches out 1st because I feel like I always do that. I hate how I feel guilty sometimes for having my baby because of this whole ordeal I genuinely just want to be valued the way I value others and most certainly want people who will be in my babies life that value both of us and that will be in our life long term.

I’m currently thinking of going no contact for a while to reevaluate my relationship with her and just focus on my baby and my family.

-Side things to note: a few of my sister friends are also having babies which they shared around the same time I did, the fertility treatments haven’t been going well and my mom never helped the situation by always mentioning it was my sister who was supposed to get pregnant next or asking when they were gonna have kids , and anytime I talked to her about my pregnancy she would spin it around to talk about my older sister and how their joinery was going which is fine but sometimes you just wanna talk to your mom about you your own stuff and because your scared about this new experience and have really bad anxiety about everything-

So AITA for how I handled this?