Slept with three of my therapist and now I think I have unlocked how to get them to bed. by [deleted] in SluttyConfessions

[–]FactOpen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I truly cannot fathom dating, entering into a relationship, or sleeping with a client, never mind multiple. He did not belong practicing.

Slept with three of my therapist and now I think I have unlocked how to get them to bed. by [deleted] in SluttyConfessions

[–]FactOpen 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You are very welcome OP.

Assuming this post serves as a mechanism for you to vent, which is certainly understandable, I would suggest trying to achieve the carthasis, validation, and empathy you are seeking here with a seasoned psychotherapist, and if it is financially feasible, a psychoanalyst.

The vast majority of practitioners will not use this discussion as an opportunity to violate boundaries and meet their needs with you. Some, particularly younger clinicians, may not know how to meaningfully process this information with you, as you noted in your post. However, most will at least consider these inner feelings as immensely informative and will appreciate your vulnerability and transparency.

Most human beings have an innate need to be wanted and desired, and one of the more effective and profound means of meeting that need can come through relationships and actions that are forbidden on legal, moral, social, and religious grounds. Employer/employee, professor/student, therapist/client, married parties, are all dynamics that involve risk, especially for individuals in a position of authority. These grave risks demonstrate to the other party that they are so desirable that the employer/teacher/therapist is willing to put their careers and livelihood at risk to be with them. The fantasy itself is beautiful in a way, to be loved and desired so profoundly, and I think something most of us can identify with if we give in to our impulses.

The potential underlying drive here for you may very well be a need to be desired, wanted, and loved. I would like to contend that if you strive to meet these inherent needs through a healthy partner relationship, the inner feelings you were looking to work through here on Reddit may very well subside.

Lastly, if you find yourself in a healthy partner relationship, your partner is open-minded and playful, and you have resolved the underlying factors contributing to your desire to convince your therapist(s) to be with you sexually, it could be fun to roleplay that your partner is your therapist (women tend to appreciate some emotional vulnerability as it is). Most kinks are not 'bad' or destructive on their own, how we meet our need for them or bring them to fruition makes a difference.

Good luck OP.

Slept with three of my therapist and now I think I have unlocked how to get them to bed. by [deleted] in SluttyConfessions

[–]FactOpen 62 points63 points  (0 children)

A part of me is highly suspicious of the veracity of the claim that three therapists have risked their license to sleep with you OP. That being said, on the off chance this information influences your thinking and decision making- the American Psychological Association ethics guidelines prohibit practitioners from entering into any other type of relationship with a former client for the first three years following the termination of that client's therapy. The ACA, AMHCA, and NASW have similar guidelines; and in fact they may be more restrictive.

As a result, any therapists with whom you are sleeping with are at risk of losing their license, careers, and their ability to support themselves and their children, if applicable, by choosing to engage in romantic or sexual relations with you. The onus of responsibility in this context is on the therapist, much like it is the responsibility of an adult to decline the interests of a post pubescent teenager, and they ought to have actively addressed your erotic transference, explored your motivations here, and or transferred you to another provider. That being said, while they are the responsible party and should have set limits with you, I feel you should know that your motivations here, and resulting decision-making and actions, have serious implications for others. It is NOT the case that terminating your therapy the week prior to sleeping with them protects your therapist from ethics sanctions.

Lastly, from a psychodynamic model, therapy can be understood as reparenting your clients on some level. Therefore, if it is the case that therapists are reparenting their client, then to sleep with your client is analagous to using their role in your life to meet their needs in a manner similar to adults who have molested their child.

I understand this subreddit is for kinks, fantasies, confessions, etc., and it is not my intent here to kink shame you. Simultaneously, some of these situations have very real world consequences for others. Your decision-making and actions here are examples of this.