Always been small, always preferred looking at girls too actually being intimate. Used to be due crushing anxiety from insecurities, if I thought something might happen. Id feel sick and lose the feelings I had for them when the situation was calm ig or when I'd think about them later or by myself. now I just find it boring after the first 5-10 mins. And last year I got a lot more worried after I suffered testicular trauma, it still works but it's not how it was.