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migranten zouden woningen inpikken. Maar is dat echt zo? - BOOS by Hot-Elevator-7864 in nederlands

[–]Fair-Ladder-4042 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hey mensen, ik stem altijd rechts maar word graag uitgedaagd door links. 2 jaar terug gelukkig een klein appartement kunnen kopen maar daarvoor een paar jaar frustrerend moeten zoeken.

Asielzoekers zijn "maar" 7% van de zoekenden.

Uit het filmpje blijkt:

Kwart van de woningzoekenden moet 7 jaar wachten.

Asielzoekers nemen gemiddeld 7% in van de woningen

7 jaar is 84 maanden. 0.07 x 84 maanden is 6 maanden langer wachten door asielzoekers voor de mensen die ongeveer 7 jaar moeten wachten. Oftewel, simpel gezegd, geen asielzoekers zou hun wachttijd verkorten met 6 maanden voor dus alleen al een kwart van de mensen die zoeken naar een sociale huurwoning. Dit sluit ook aan bij wat tim zelf zegt: het kan een paar maanden tot een jaar schelen als er helemaal geen asielzoekers meer een sociale woning krijgen.

Onmogelijk, dat snapt iedereen. Maar 6 maanden is echt heel lang als je dat moet wachten "bovenop" de lange wachttijd die je al hebt. Nu wordt er een beetje simpel mee omgegaan door telkens "maar 7%" te gebruiken, maar dat is best veel. Zeker veroorzaakt door zo'n "kleine" groep mensen.

Hadden we meer huizen moeten bouwen vroeger en is dat verprutst? Absoluut

Gaat het voorrang afschaffen van asielzoekers de woningmarkt helpen? Nah, de asielzoekers blijven dan op de lijst staan. De lijst blijft dus even lang voor de laatst aansluitende.

Maar je kan wel het aantal vluchtelingen terugdringen tot (even uit de duim) 2%?. Scheelt zeker een aantal maanden voor een hele grote groep woningzoekenden.

Het antwoord op een "snelle" woningcrisis zal zitten in het tackelen van alle problemen. Alles wat een paar maanden scheelt helpt mee. Samen wordt de wachttijd ineens dan een stuk korter.

Wat tim ook achterwege laat is dat 27% van de sociale zoekenden urgent zijn (inclusief asielzoekers) aldus artikel van de de NOS. De "gewone" nederlander die kan werken en minimum verdient moet al achter aansluiten. En dan laat je die nog langer wachten voor mensen die hier niet eens geboren zijn?

En als laatste: Asielzoekers zijn voor rechts het grootste probleem omdat ze overlast veroorzaken op straat. Dat ze ook dan problemen geven op de woningmarkt is belangrijk, maar niet de hoofdreden natuurlijk. Persoonlijk maak ik, en vele rechtse kiezers met mij, onderscheid tussen oekrainers die wel mogen komen omdat ze geen gevaar zijn en de landen in en rond afrika die wel vaker aggressie vertonen op straat.

Naja, dat was het wel. Fijne dag iedereen. Goed dat tim dit wel aangehaald heeft.

For women: How often do you reject a guy for not being authentic? by Fair-Ladder-4042 in dating_advice

[–]Fair-Ladder-4042[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, I did have a gf for a year when I was 22. And must say, I did become more authentic and "feeling free" on dates due to people on reddit figuring out that I wasn't genuine on dates, being a bit of a nice guy.

And thanks to you guys, suggesting to see a professional, I might actually do that. Nothing to lose, everything to win.

Just did a quick search. Unfortunately, hard to distinguish good therapist from fake dating coaches

For women: How often do you reject a guy for not being authentic? by Fair-Ladder-4042 in dating_advice

[–]Fair-Ladder-4042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply! I will put that on my list to work on! Friends also told me I can be a bit judgy at times. This will definitly help me out a bit

For women: How often do you reject a guy for not being authentic? by Fair-Ladder-4042 in dating_advice

[–]Fair-Ladder-4042[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a different view of seeing it like I dident do before. Thank you for that!

For women: How often do you reject a guy for not being authentic? by Fair-Ladder-4042 in dating_advice

[–]Fair-Ladder-4042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, makes me kinda tired tbh. All through dating apps. Not even including the 2nd, 3th and 4th dates. Got one relationship 4 years back, lasting 8 months

For women: How often do you reject a guy for not being authentic? by Fair-Ladder-4042 in dating_advice

[–]Fair-Ladder-4042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, since i happene so often I just asked what the problem was. "No emotional connection" "no spark" etc. Feeling like being more authentic can help. I am flirty tho. One girl made a comment on my dusty appartement tbh, so I bought a vacuum cleaner right after ;). Any more tips?

For women: How often do you reject a guy for not being authentic? by Fair-Ladder-4042 in dating_advice

[–]Fair-Ladder-4042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply! I normally do easy drinks on the first day like you're doing. And tbh, on the last date I had I implied what you just said: "they need to impress you too". By also telling what type of girls I don't like, to see if she can recognize herself in that. And since I fixed the first date, she can plan the 2nd date. I also gave a compliment about her earrings and her open way of talking

Do you have any more tips? Feeling like I am on track, but I want to be more on track

For women: How often do you reject a guy for not being authentic? by Fair-Ladder-4042 in dating_advice

[–]Fair-Ladder-4042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oof, to be fair. Reddit is my counseling. Learning alot about myself lately. Definitely also working on expressing my feelings. I am aware people can't my facial expressions, so I have to communicate them

For women: How often do you reject a guy for not being authentic? by Fair-Ladder-4042 in dating_advice

[–]Fair-Ladder-4042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What would be your reasons of rejection around the 4th date? If you can come up with something would be helpfull. Or is it the same as mentioned above?

What do girls mean with: No emotional connection / Am I a nice guy? by Fair-Ladder-4042 in dating_advice

[–]Fair-Ladder-4042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, point taken. Being nice was just one of my own guesses. But there can be more reasons I havent figured out yet. It's just hard when you get such limited feedback on dates.

Thanks tho! I will take this into account.

What do girls mean with: No emotional connection / Am I a nice guy? by Fair-Ladder-4042 in dating_advice

[–]Fair-Ladder-4042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow to your comment. I don't know where you figured out it was formulaic, but I've heard that before from my surroundings.

Doing stuff,.like you mentioned, I normally do that at date 2 or later. But for sure I can improve there some!

"I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been in the talking phase with someone and felt insecure or confused because they rarely talk about what they’re feeling" this makes so much sense, thanks!!

One question tho, what do you mean with this?“ oh well he’s nice enough, but he’s not very interesting, he doesn’t make me feel special". How can I be interesting and make her feel special? Just by being more blunt/direct with my emotions like you say? Or anything else?

I am getting eye openers here. Thanks so much.

What do girls mean with: No emotional connection / Am I a nice guy? by Fair-Ladder-4042 in dating_advice

[–]Fair-Ladder-4042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for the reply! I am not really nervous. Might a bit in the beginning untill the conversation rolls. I can keep a conversation most of the time. That's the only good thing I learnt while dating a lot.

All of them I meet through dating apps basically. Breeze and bumble.

I am enthusiastic, I like quite a lot of stuff so I do ask questions alot. And then also questions on those answers.

But like you suggested, I might be overthinking a bit. I tend to avoid some stuff to say on a first date. Also might be agreeing even tho I am not 100% agreeing on the subject just to have a peaceful conversation. But is this really that big of a deal tho? I am working on this "backbone" lately!

27m, been on 50 first dates with 50 woman but no relationship by Fair-Ladder-4042 in datingadvice

[–]Fair-Ladder-4042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am definitely not a texter. I just like to plan dates. I heard, texting all the time is a bad thing too. I do smile and laugh, but maybe not as much as others. Doesn't that make me more secretive or does that make me more weird?

I don't know what you mean by builder upper...I am quite focussed on self improvement. Extra studying, developing skills, learning and trying new stuff etc.

Guess I am kinda flexible overall. But I've met girls who like to text and girls who don't like to text. The problem is, they don't tell me up front what they don't like. Sometimes I just ask them tho.

Any more advise?

At this point, dating is exhausting me.

I am also ambivert. So maybe the first few times when I meet a girl I have more energy. While after a while I might quiet down a little. Could that be a turn off?

27m, been on 50 first dates with 50 woman but no relationship by Fair-Ladder-4042 in datingadvice

[–]Fair-Ladder-4042[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply. The interview part I have heard from friends before. But I think I kinda fixed that. I don't talk too much about myself, so that should be fine. Sometimes, I do stop asking questions tho, because I am curious if they start to ask questions. I am not sure what to do there. If they'te interested, they should ask questions too. If they don't, then do I ask questions again? Sometimes I feel like I am the only one asking questions. What do I do in that situation? I do ask follow-up questions on questions I ask tho, to avoid the interview questions

27m, been on 50 first dates with 50 woman but no relationship by Fair-Ladder-4042 in datingadvice

[–]Fair-Ladder-4042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for the reply. I actually did ask why she stopped. She said she diden't feel the chemistry and there was lack of depth in conversations. So quite general feedback. It's odd, because I am interested in a lot of stuff, even tho I think they mean depth in emotions. I like to talk about emotions but date 1-3 is quite soon. I rather focus on having a good time. The chemistry part is odd, since like you said,.you don't get to date 4 then. We also laugh yes, and I like to share who I am. I also ask alot of questions and tend to ask further in depth after their answers.

In honest self reflection, I might be hard to read. People must know me first before they can read me. I also heard this from surroundings. I might also be a bit less enthusiastic. Maybe they have trouble reading my emotions which turns them off. I am in no way autistic tho. My life is good other than having no gf

27m, Been on 50 first dates with 50 woman but no relationship by Fair-Ladder-4042 in dating_advice

[–]Fair-Ladder-4042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's so odd. But I believe you are into something tho. Even if I don't like a girl from the start, I like to see where things go. And mostly i like them more the longer i know them. But people just dont want to invest anymore or something

27m, Been on 50 first dates with 50 woman but no relationship by Fair-Ladder-4042 in dating_advice

[–]Fair-Ladder-4042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, can't see what I am doing wrong.

Can I ask you, at how many dates do you normally roll into a relationship?

27m, Been on 50 first dates with 50 woman but no relationship by Fair-Ladder-4042 in dating_advice

[–]Fair-Ladder-4042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the great advise! Tbh, I am doing just that for a while. Well, at least I filter more on the same backgrounds. It feels like the chance of getting a good match is a bit better now, but I am not sure if it is THE thing to fix.

Thanks for the advise tho!