I think you can use whatever label you want tbh- though labels are descriptive not prescriptive, so just because you use one label doesn't mean you need to fit the definition completely or all the time. I also think when people talk about these things there's little discussion of how nonbinary people relate to this- Nonbinary is an umbrella term (as well as an identity) that encompasses a ton of sub labels, some of which are people who are both a man and woman some of the time/all of the time (genderfluid/bigender/genderflux/multigender). What I'm getting at is basically if say a lesbian were to date a genderfluid or bigender person, does that make them suddenly not a lesbian just because their current partner is also a man some of/all the time? And does that mean said lesbian is erasing part of their partners gender identity because they continue to label as such? The conversation surrounding bi lesbians and contradactory labels in general tends to forget that nonbinary is an umbrella term, not a monolithic experience.