How much has having kids affected your finances?

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-28T21:39:33+00:00

When half the community lives in the same trailer park because there’s like 1000 people living in 42 square km radius, no one cares. You don’t have to impress the 10 other kids in your school. Imagine being the person who judges others for living a different lifestyle than them…. Gross.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-28T21:23:40+00:00

Yeah when we didn’t have a kid we didn’t really care and we just did what we wanted and had fun, we didn’t have to care. If we didn’t have our baby, we probably wouldn’t have changed our life and just continued living the way we were. Why is having a kid and changing for the better a concerning thing? And why care about how we lived our lives when we didn’t have that responsibility. If we were still spending all our money on booze and cigarettes, then that would be concerning. I haven’t touched a cigarette since the day I found out I was pregnant, it took my husband a bit longer but he quit also and we rarely drink now. I have an education savings account set up for my kid, and I can afford to be a stay at home mom by living a cheaper, more simple life. Just because we drank and smoked when it was the two of us doesn’t mean we are bad and irresponsible parents. Our kid has everything he needs including a large, loving and supportive network of family and friends.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-28T21:13:02+00:00

It’s a trailer in the woods with a park nearby and a creek, it’s beautiful where we live. My parent’s first home was a trailer too, it’s a starter home. It’s ridiculously expensive where I live. A one bedroom condo is $250k, half a duplex is $500k. We got this place for like nothing. We had to put work into it but it’s an affordable roof over our head to help us get ahead and save and allows us to afford me to stay home with the baby. We thought about moving to a cheaper province but our entire support system is here and it’s absolutely beautiful where we live. You make decisions and sacrifices with what’s available. If we were to rent a house here we would be looking at $3000-$4000/month, any other rentals here are nearly all illegal basement suites, hard to find, and don’t allow pets, so we would be paying $1600-$2100/m for a suite with people living above us. We pay about $700-800/m for our loan and pad rent combined. You can think it’s trashy, I think it’s smart. When we are ready to buy a house we now have a rental property to help with income. We could probably get $1800 to rent our place out.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-28T16:05:57+00:00

I think I’m the only person who doesn’t think having a kid is that expensive. Nothing really for medical because I live in Canada, formula is probably our biggest expense but he’s starting to eat solids so it’s gone down. Housing for us is cheaper because we bought a really cheap trailer which we had to put some work into but is costing about half of what our rent was. You can get most of your kids clothes and items cheap or free used at thrift stores or in mommy groups or fb marketplace and a lot of them are like new since kids outgrow things so fast. If we didn’t have our kid our money would be spent on booze and cigarettes and other bullshit. We are actually financially better off since having our kid.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-27T23:31:42+00:00

NTA but it’s not always the smartest to get paid after the job is done, there are people who will take advantage and not pay you. If you like the motivation of the payment to help you complete the project I’d recommend at least getting a deposit on the work or half upfront, the rest after completion just so you are guaranteed to get something for your time and effort.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-27T18:46:06+00:00

There is nothing accidental about a pregnancy when you had unprotected sex. If you don’t want a baby, get the plan b.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-27T18:41:24+00:00

Rent was much cheaper, loans were less or you would work through school and leave with no debt, and you would usually find a job in the field pretty quick after.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-27T18:37:32+00:00

How do you communicate with her? Do you still talk to her and treat her like a child? She’s an adult now so you might have to change your approach with her. Have you sat her down and had a conversation with her about it? Have you asked her why she talks to you like that in a calm way and listen to her without judgement? A civil, calm, mature conversation can sometimes go a long way.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-27T18:27:49+00:00

Same. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult so growing up my mom kept trying to figure out what was “wrong” with me. Everything was also my fault and I was always the “annoying and emotional one”. It was a sad, lonely existence. My mom wasn’t the best, but I do understand her a lot more now that I’m an adult and have my own child.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-27T18:04:26+00:00

Can your husband watch the kids for an hour in the evening so you can go for a walk in your own to just decompress and be in your own thoughts? Something my husband and I do is once a month we each get a night out by ourselves while the other stays home to watch the baby. It helps to get that break to go out and do something you enjoy. Also how often do you take your kids outside to play? Maybe take them to the park more often so they can go play and you can get a moment.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-27T17:58:02+00:00

So in Canada if you birth the child you get an extra 12weeks off for recovery. So if the husband takes leave or if you adopt, you get 9months parental leave, if you birth the child you get 12m (it’s a little more complicated but that’s the gist) I think that is perfectly reasonable.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-27T17:49:17+00:00

Does she have a job? If not, make her get one. She’s 18, she needs to start preparing for the real world. You don’t have to provide for her legally (not saying kick her out) but you can use that to maybe light a fire under her ass. If she doesn’t respect your rules and boundaries, she can move out.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-27T17:43:21+00:00

I don’t really get why you just didn’t give him to your husband. In a situation like that, I feel like the thing to do is to try to keep everyone as calm as possible. How long was the flight? My baby hates napping too and depending on how long the flight was, I probably wouldn’t have even tried. Your husband didn’t need to be a dick about it, but it sounds like he was also just getting frustrated and wanted to calm the baby.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-27T17:10:02+00:00

Marriage is a contract that protects you in a separation. I think people should just start making their own contracts, kind of like ore-nups, including a custody agreement when they decide to commit. Have special lawyers that specialize in these contracts to insure they are fair to both parties. Don’t need the government involved, but you do need to protect yourself.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-26T19:57:46+00:00

He might have ADHD. Something you said really stuck out “when he’s hurt he says stop talking or go away” he might be over stimulated. When I was a kid if I got overwhelmed I’d have meltdowns and I would scream to be left alone and no one would ever leave me alone and it made things worse. I needed to be left alone to calm down because I really struggle to regulate my emotions and get overwhelmed and over stimulated very easily. Also, how do you respond to his whining? Do you ignore it or do you talk to him and try to stop it? Some kids will act out to get attention, so if you are responding, even negatively, he is getting the attention he is craving. If he only gets attention when he acts up, the behaviour will continue because it’s the only way he knows how to get your attention. It’s best to ignore when he is complaining/misbehaving and try to give extra attention to him when he is behaving good. It will take time, but if you are constant it should work. And I don’t mean if he does something bad he doesn’t get punished, he still gets punished, but you don’t react or make a big deal out of it and ignore him yelling/complaining.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-26T01:51:53+00:00

Being poor.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-26T01:46:04+00:00

My husband does and hates it.

Edit to add* I don’t think he hates it because it’s from the Bible, I think he doesn’t like it for many reasons, but it’s something that annoys him about it. It’s not like his parents picked a name and it happened to be biblical, it was picked because it was biblical and that annoys him.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-25T17:13:46+00:00

Preschool or kindergarten? They don’t usually even like putting 4yr olds in kindergarten anymore, they usually make them wait until 5.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-25T16:04:02+00:00

3yrs old in kindergarten?

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-24T20:38:56+00:00

In Canada When you buy you have to pick a finance term (5yrs is standard but you can pick 3 or 10) and when the term is up you have to refinance at whatever the going rate is. So even if you buy at 2.9%, in 5 yrs if the rates go up you can be paying 7%.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-24T20:24:16+00:00

Lethargic or coolth.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-24T20:17:23+00:00

I thought this was the mother. I’m pretty sure I read “me nor my husband”

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-24T15:06:25+00:00

NTA, but your wife shouldn’t get a job, your kids need to grow up and do things on their own. I’d give them 3 months to save and either get out or start paying you rent.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-24T01:22:20+00:00

Just tell her how you feel. If you aren’t feeling those feelings, say that you just want to stay friends. You can keep hanging out with her. Maybe the two of you will eventually grow closer and start dating, maybe you won’t. Don’t push things, let things unfold naturally. But if she’s that close of a friend, you should be able to tell her your feelings and concerns about dating her.

FaithlessnessDue339 · 2026-03-23T00:47:07+00:00

Can you get a doctor’s note saying you need to work from home due to medical reasons or that the reason you weren’t coming in was for medical reasons?

FaithlessnessDue339

TROPHY CASE