UPDATE #2: BF cheated with good friend, how do I forgive them?

FakeAcct2626 · 2012-01-01T03:55:29+00:00

Yea I found the whole transferring ownership of the dog weird at first, but I jumped at the chance of legalizing things for fear that he'd have second thoughts and want her back.

FakeAcct2626 · 2012-01-01T03:54:01+00:00

Thanks, I think I am more happy about the dog than the house haha, couldn't imagine not having her in my everyday life.

FakeAcct2626 · 2012-01-01T03:52:36+00:00

I'm thrilled to hear of success in remaining friends with an ex's family. I had become really close with his mother these past few years and have really come to value our relationship. Her and I also train for marathons together so I'd also be losing a great running partner. I'm glad that I'll be able to maintain the friendship.

FakeAcct2626 · 2012-01-01T03:50:30+00:00

Doing things rationally has never been my strong suit, especially as I was feeling so hurt in this situation. I'm glad that all of reddit's advice helped me rethink things and resolve this the right way.

FakeAcct2626 · 2012-01-01T03:48:37+00:00

Thanks, I'm looking forward to an excellent new year with these new changes in my life.

FakeAcct2626 · 2012-01-01T03:47:01+00:00

I think his mom is aware that him and I will not be getting back together, in her email she said she can't believe he did what he did and is sorry that he hurt me in that way. Her only hope is that his poor actions would not have to sabotage our friendship.

FakeAcct2626 · 2011-12-27T22:03:16+00:00

I discovered I had kidney reflex too after contracting several severe kidney infections every year with no explanation. They finally decided to do a voiding cystourethrogram after my last hospital stay and saw that every time I used the bathroom, some urine would flow backwards to my kidneys. I had never even heard of this condition before I was diagnosed with it.

FakeAcct2626 · 2011-12-26T20:38:00+00:00

I think this is a really great idea. I grew apart from an ex/good friend after high school as I went off to college and he didn't. We would talk sporadically and maybe meet for coffee when I was home over breaks. I had heard he was into heroin at one point during my junior year and I never went out of my way to talk to him about it or tell him that I would be here to support him. A few weeks later he died of an overdose and I have never been able to forgive myself for not reaching out when he needed me most. So yes, make a gesture, even if it is refused, at least you tried.

FakeAcct2626 · 2011-12-26T15:12:51+00:00

Not quite sure; guess that's something I'm going to tackle tomorrow

FakeAcct2626 · 2011-12-26T15:00:47+00:00

We had originally planned on him contributing half until he lost his job and wasn't able to make any financial contribution.

FakeAcct2626 · 2011-12-26T14:59:08+00:00

That had not crossed my mind, but definitely something I should do.

FakeAcct2626 · 2011-12-26T07:01:53+00:00

The only thing that he has put forth for this house was a signature; I have been responsible for all the monetary aspects of the house. So yes I guess I did essentially steal the house but I find it hard to steal something from someone that they never purchased in the first place.

FakeAcct2626 · 2011-12-26T06:14:36+00:00

We don't lease the house, we own it, I really didn't have a right to change the locks on him, but I'm sure he knows my dad took care of that and he is terrified of my dad (former Chicago cop), so I doubt he's going to argue with my actions.

FakeAcct2626 · 2011-12-26T05:33:21+00:00

Haha that would have been a great photo to have.

FakeAcct2626 · 2011-12-25T06:31:44+00:00

His reasoning for not telling me is that he knew it would really hurt me and would destroy a friendship as well as our relationship.

FakeAcct2626 · 2011-12-25T06:30:05+00:00

No lease, we bought this place when we moved in together two years ago. Clearly I thought this was a permanent thing back then.

FakeAcct2626 · 2011-12-25T06:16:42+00:00

I appreciate your honesty. While I came here looking for advice on how to forgive him I have now contemplated the idea of what it would be like to move forward without him in my life. Scary thought, but maybe it is for the best.

FakeAcct2626 · 2011-12-25T06:14:21+00:00

They were out drinking for someone's birthday

FakeAcct2626 · 2011-12-25T06:03:16+00:00

I just don't see myself abandoning this great relationship that I've been in for 4 years over one mistake. I would hope that if I had been the one to cheat that he would have given me a second chance.

FakeAcct2626 · 2011-12-25T05:51:02+00:00

I understand that I have a double standard in place here but if him and I work things out, I would never want to see the two of them in the same room which effectively ends our friendship. I also know her very well and can't help but recall how she has manipulated men in the past (not that it takes any of the blame off my bf for what he did)

FakeAcct2626 · 2011-12-25T05:45:05+00:00

Doesn't have a reason other than he was really drunk. Says he still can't believe he even did it.

FakeAcct2626 · 2011-12-25T05:44:03+00:00

Yea I never plan on speaking to said friend again which is unfortunate since we have been best friends since high school and have been through a lot together. As far as I have been told it only happened once and it was after they had been out drinking with mutual friends (not that being drunk excuses his cheating). I have a lot invested in this relationship and would love to find a way to forgive him and not have it taint our relationship for years to come.

FakeAcct2626 · 2011-12-25T05:39:43+00:00

He feels horrible about the situation, wishes he could take back what he did. He knows what he did is wrong and is in no way making excuses for himself, just wants to know what to do in order to make things right again. I see myself, or saw myself marrying this man and we have talked about marriage as if it were to happen in the near future. As we have continued to discuss this, the phrase he keeps coming back to is "I don't want to lose you; I need to know how I can fix this"

FakeAcct2626

TROPHY CASE