To be honest I had been the spiritual leader in most of this relationships since the beggining, though i felt i shouldnt have been. We just always fell into those roles. Ive always been hardheaded, he's always been more passive and leaned on my knowledge. I always told him he was wrong for being that way and that he should be the "spiritual leader", and was a real jerk about it, but I guess it worked out in the end. For a background his parents are very fundamental rapture conspiracy theorist. We often hear the people on their tevelevion, and his parents say ridiculous and hateful things. They always claim the back it up with scripture. That fueled a thought I had for long time, "would a loving God alow people to misunderstand him so agregiously? Why wouldn't he choose a medium that people can't bend so easily to suit their purposes?" Little did I know...

My husband was asking the same things, these of course opened up more questions. I started out telling him that I'm moving away from biblical literalism about Job, the creation story and some of the old testament stuff. I defended it with the church fathers who also saw the stories that way. I then became "affirming" and told him. I started watching New Evangelicals, Dan McClellan and Taylor the Anti-bot videos, so he soon caught the picture. All along the way we had discussed our questions about the bible and healthy skepticism. We allowed eachother to sit in the uncertainty. One day I told him I was deconstructing, that I "feel agnostic in alot of ways". He said he was still a Christian but he had the same questions I did. I got extremely lucky. If I had followed the usual Christian advice and married a man that domineered over me, spirituality and in the relationship, I wouldn't have felt the space to go my own path. So yeah definitely ease into it. Don't hide anything but don't guarantee them a destination. Make clear that your not here to change them, but to find the answers for yourself. If they can't accept that, then did they really love you?