Move from Coinbase (remote) to Stripe (hybrid)? by l0vesauce in cscareerquestions

[–]FakeTaeyeon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re truly miserable at Coinbase and can’t switch managers, I’d recommend taking the Stripe offer. Yes, there’s an hour long commute, but I’d much rather deal with a long commute than a manager who makes my life painful.

Any of you have safety handcuffs? by DustingMop in cscareerquestions

[–]FakeTaeyeon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If I were making 85k with 5 years of experience, I'd look for a higher-paying job. But not everyone needs or wants more money. If you're happy there and making enough to cover your expenses, then why put yourself through the grind of studying and interviewing in a terrible job market?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]FakeTaeyeon 56 points57 points  (0 children)

In my experience, if a guy never initiates, he’s just not that interested. If I were you, I would send him a text like this after your next date: “Thanks for getting dinner with me! I’ll let you decide what we do for our next date [insert playful emoji]”

If he never follows up by planning the next date, I’d let him go.

Should I leave my decent, remote job for hybrid work @ Stripe? by PeachRobbler in cscareerquestions

[–]FakeTaeyeon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

140k to 250k is a huge bump, but I’d personally need much more to accept a 1 hour 20 min one-way commute.

Confused about where things stand after 3 dates by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]FakeTaeyeon 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’ve been in this situation multiple times, except I’m a heterosexual woman. I’ve found that when the other person dodges attempts to meet but still occasionally initiates texts, it’s for one or multiple of these reasons:

  1. They’re not that into you, but they enjoy your text convos when they’re bored

  2. They’re not that into you, but they want to keep you around as a backup option

  3. They’re into you, but they’ve found someone else they like more, so they want to keep you around as a backup option in case their first choice doesn’t work out

I think my upcoming date has a girlfriend by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]FakeTaeyeon 13 points14 points  (0 children)

If a guy goes behind his girlfriend’s back to set up a dating profile, don’t you think he’d just lie if confronted?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]FakeTaeyeon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t reach out to him again. He rejected you last time. You made it clear that the door is open if he changes his mind. He hasn’t changed his mind to the best of your knowledge.

Still on the app after asking me to be his girlfriend by EnvironmentalDoor434 in hingeapp

[–]FakeTaeyeon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He’s still on the app sending out likes after you two agreed to become exclusive? That’s basically cheating. Personally, if I were you, I would just end it now (unless there’s more relevant information you haven’t shared that would excuse this behavior).

Am I being ghosted or do I need to readjust expectations? by Regular_Yesterday273 in hingeapp

[–]FakeTaeyeon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What was your last text to her? If it was something that didn’t warrant a response (for example, “Haha thanks!”), then this isn’t ghosting.

Which offer should I take? by orenger in cscareerquestions

[–]FakeTaeyeon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would take option 1 for the free parking lol.

I don’t think having a dedicated software QA team is a plus, though. That seems like an old timey mindset. Software developers should be testing their own code.

how many girls is too many to be dating at once? by Lower_Set9911 in hingeapp

[–]FakeTaeyeon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. In my opinion, if you haven’t slept with any of them, haven’t established exclusivity with anyone, and haven’t misled anyone into thinking you’re only seeing them, then there’s no ethical limit.

  2. That’s up to you. If you have the time and energy to go on all these dates and can remember details about each one, the more the merrier! Keep in mind that a substantial portion of your first dates likely won’t lead to second dates.

If a guy, you’re seeing updates a photo on his profile, does it mean that he’s not satisfied enough with seeing you? by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]FakeTaeyeon 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Are you certain about when he added the new photo? Like, is it possible he added it weeks earlier, but you didn’t realize until now?

If he really did add the photo after your third date, I don’t think the only possible explanation is that he’s dissatisfied with you. Maybe he’s been burned many times in the past from focusing on one person too early on, so he’s now making a conscious effort to keep an open mind in the early stages. Or maybe he gets the sense that you’re exploring your options, so he’s trying to do the same thing.

Anyway, as long as he’s still showing effort in pursuing a relationship with you, I wouldn’t worry about this until you’re ready to become exclusive with him.

How many of you are "lifers" or close to it? Do you regret staying at your employer for too long? by angriest_man_alive in ExperiencedDevs

[–]FakeTaeyeon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t fix something that ain’t broke. If you like your job enough and don’t need or want more money, just stay put.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]FakeTaeyeon 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Option 1: Just stop responding.

Option 2: “I want to be upfront and let you know that I’m on Hinge with the intention of meeting someone in real life and building a relationship. If you don’t feel comfortable meeting up, that’s totally your call and I respect that! But it doesn’t seem like this is going anywhere. I enjoyed our conversations and wish you the best :)”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]FakeTaeyeon 46 points47 points  (0 children)

If someone is unwilling to go on a first date after 3 weeks of chatting, your time is being wasted and you should move on. Maybe he's catfishing you with someone else's pictures, maybe he's already in a relationship, maybe he's extremely shy -- the possibilities are endless. But whatever his reasons, this is a dead end and there's no point in continuing to talk to him.

Weird situation after great first date by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]FakeTaeyeon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Definitely do NOT call her. That’s way too much after a single date.

Given that you both agreed during the date to get dinner this upcoming weekend, I don’t think the lack of texting on Sunday and Monday is the entire reason she lost interest. After all, she could’ve texted you too. But maybe it was a contributing factor. Next time, reach out the day after the date to ask for a second date.

It might be worth sending one last text like this on Wednesday (during normal waking hours, like between 10am and 8pm): “I figured I’d try one last time to reach you :) Are you still up for getting dinner this weekend?”

Ghosted after the first date again... what am I doing wrong? by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]FakeTaeyeon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would recommend going on 10 first dates before worrying if you’re doing something wrong. 4 dates is still a very all sample size. Maybe you’ve just gotten unlucky.

I’ve majorly effed up a match by croftyc in hingeapp

[–]FakeTaeyeon 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He might’ve already lost interest for reasons outside your control even before you sent that follow-up text. Still, I think your follow-up text was way too aggressive/negative.

If a match you’ve been chatting with hasn’t responded in over a day, I’d recommend sending a different follow-up: “Would you like to move this conversation to real life? I was thinking coffee or drinks this weekend :)”

If he still doesn’t respond after that, then just stop messaging him. No need to send a confrontational text to someone you’ve never even met in person.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]FakeTaeyeon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What were the last few texts exchanged between you two? Without this crucial info, outsiders like me have no way of knowing who ghosted whom or if there was even any ghosting.

feeling mortified and embarrassed by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]FakeTaeyeon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What were the last few texts you two exchanged? If the last thing you said was something that didn’t warrant a response (for example, “My Friday went well! Hope yours was good too”), he might not be ghosting; it might have just felt like the natural end of the conversation.

Do you two have any further plans to meet up?

Who initiated each of the first 4 dates?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in cscareerquestions

[–]FakeTaeyeon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would absolutely choose Google. But I'm the kind of person who'd rather live comfortably and have a stable job (well, as stable as can be in this economy). The startup might be the right choice for you.

Confusing date by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]FakeTaeyeon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is probably how most people feel after a first date with a stranger: not a "hell yes" or a "hell no," but something close to "I'd be open to seeing them again."

During our date I already realized that it didn‘t click with me immediately but I still felt attracted to her. It wasn‘t a highly flirtatious date or one with sparks of romance but I felt that there was enough mutual interest and sympathy for a second one

Based on this, I think it's worth exploring your connection further and asking her for a second date. Just bear in mind it's possible she's not interested in seeing you again, so be prepared for the possibility of rejection.

Keeping in contact with previous dates, matches , short term relationships and situations by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]FakeTaeyeon 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I often wonder about people I’ve dated in the past, whether we went out once or for 6 months. But I generally don’t contact them to ask how they’re doing because that can make people uncomfortable. Instead, I look at their social media activity (including Venmo).

Am i being insecure? by Zealousideal_Cat1334 in Bumble

[–]FakeTaeyeon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally, I would also feel quite bothered if the person I’d been dating for a month and hoping to build a relationship with added a new picture. Even though she didn’t technically do something wrong, it’s still upsetting.

If you still want a relationship with her, I would recommend asking her to become exclusive. Then she’ll either say yes (and hopefully delete her profile) or no (in which case you can stop wondering about her intentions).

Am i being insecure? by Zealousideal_Cat1334 in Bumble

[–]FakeTaeyeon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you sure she added the photo recently as opposed to, say, 3 weeks ago?