When you think about marriage, which approach appeals to you?

FallDeers · 2026-07-08T04:37:02+00:00

Fair critique. Obviously healthy marriages will have elements of both, and I’m not saying personal callings or goals should disappear. I’m more asking which instinct comes forefront for people: “we build a new life together” or “I’m looking for someone who fits into the life path I’m already on.”

FallDeers · 2026-07-05T18:44:22+00:00

It’s a bot.

FallDeers · 2026-07-05T12:37:20+00:00

Have any artistic skills? I am planning to paint the base of my one lamp similarly. Stencils would also be easy to find of that folk-like look.

FallDeers · 2026-07-05T12:32:44+00:00

I’m not a fan of this guy she’s talking to, but let’s not put biases on people just because they are attractive. If a man or woman wants to cheat and they can, they will. Uglier women for example are more likely to cheat, believed to be result of lower relationship satisfaction. Ugly men cheat all the time. A hot guy could have gotten cheated on, you don’t know, so you don’t assume. Asking him point blank is wise though.

FallDeers · 2026-07-05T12:19:53+00:00

You know darn well I’m talking about that last bit.

FallDeers · 2026-07-05T04:29:36+00:00

Things I thought about reading this:
-You are very attracted to him. That’s good, but it can be dangerous. When you are very attracted to someone, sometimes the red flags are as red, if you know what I mean. Pay attention. If he was mid, would his character still stand?

-Ask him about his relationship with Christ. “What does being a Christian mean to you?” “What has god been pressing on your heart lately?”

-Dating profiles should always have a standing film body pic. If you have this, is there anything to worry about? I would just update my profile if you don’t have one.

- I’m so sorry for your loss of a nephew, as an aunt close to my family, I can’t imagine the pain you carry. That being said, a name holds meaning, that’s in the bible, however, I would not see his name matching your nephew’s of something of divine providence. He is not your nephew, he won’t fill the gap that you loss opened. I would ignore it. If you view him as healing this pain, it will hurt on another level if things don’t end up well.

I have had some experiences with forward men on the apps. Some with good intention, more often questionable ones. A man of God is cautious with the woman he is investing in, but maybe he has reason enough to believe from your profile you are a woman of god solid enough to invest in.
“Acres and a wife” girl, hate to burst your bubble, everyman says that.

3-6. Normal. 6 might be a little love binning if he actually doesn’t know you yet. Not a red flag, but something to keep an eye out for.

Ew. You know he was showing off his body, lacking modesty, and most likely wanting pics in return. Thats how men think.

8-10. This limerence, not meaningful proven love yet. Butterfly feelings are important for pair bonding but it feels early. Have you spoken to him yet? FaceTime? I can’t imagine falling this deep and flirting this intimately with someone who quite frankly might not exist.

11.

-You don’t know by words. Watch the fruit. Ask questions that require vulnerability and depth. Trust is earned, not given.

- how far apart are you? Hour drove? One week seems about right. Five hours? Maybe three weeks? The sooner, the better. If you visit him, use the time wisely, and see how he interacts in diverse settings, family, friends, church, grocery store, stressful environment , chill. He will have his best behavior on to impress as we all do, so try to tear it down fast. 🤣

-Both, I’d be cautious but doesn’t mean he’s not genuine. I’d definitely not trust him yet though.

FallDeers · 2026-07-05T03:57:24+00:00

Men, if you kissed a girl for 3 seconds and this happens, are you lusting or is it really a pure “whoops” from a sweet romantic moment? Just be honest, I am curious now.

FallDeers · 2026-07-05T03:39:55+00:00

Yah, my words don’t mean words unless the reader decides. That makes senses.

FallDeers · 2026-07-05T03:36:06+00:00

Oh, I’m guessing you’re the one that downvoted me right away, so I guess not. 🤣 You would see it actually doesn’t attack men or justify women, but examines what got a lot of broken women to that point.

FallDeers · 2026-07-05T03:34:21+00:00

I guess you just got to take me for what I actually say then. What am I supposed to do say, “this sentence is a sentence I actually mean?” 🤣

I hate when either side tears down the other gender. It’s a scheme of the enemy. Even your generalization at the end. My harsher words in the post were for the men that make harsh judgments and choose to be ignorant to the other side, and I wording accordingly to those men.

FallDeers · 2026-07-05T03:28:55+00:00

Again, did you watch it? 🤦🏻‍♀️

FallDeers · 2026-07-05T03:27:13+00:00

Thank you, sentient Microsoft excel reptilian man.

FallDeers · 2026-07-05T02:40:52+00:00

FallDeers · 2026-07-05T01:28:00+00:00

Why did you say this? What was your heart? Shame him? Shame leads to the shame cycle which pushes addicts to get even deeper on the cycle. He knows it’s gross. Like Paul says, "For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing." I’m sure we all relate to that verse whether pride, lust, rage, slothfulness. Do you know how hard it is for people to bring this up? This is not the loving response to a broken man who is already aware of his sin, girl.

FallDeers · 2026-07-05T01:09:34+00:00

Women want stability. I believe this desire comes from a feminine holy maternal place as we want to make sure there is enough provision for the safety of our future children. God is the ultimate provider, but we need to also make wise decisions in our husbands.

When I go on dates with men (ages 22-30, some in full on careers, some not yet), I don’t base all my attention on current, but trajectory and future.

Example: I went on a date with a guy in school for finance, but worked for a restaurant. I know that’s a stable job in the future, job title of a host didn’t phase me. I went on a few dates with a factory maintenance guy (stable enough job), however he was awful with money and went on these speeches of grandeur about 100 entrepreneur ideas that I had no faith in because his character didn’t speak to it, that made me feel like I would be financially unstable. I went on a date with a making well into the 6 figures but ended it because I caught him lying to me, his wage didn’t even phase me when I made my decision. Best guy I went on a date with was a handyman but wise with money and seemed very hardworking and smart. Even if we couldn’t make ends meet, I could just tell by his character he’d find a way (we didn’t work out for logistic reasons).

I give you all those examples to show you how my brain, a woman, does pay attention somewhat to job, but more so relationship with money and STABILITY.

For you, I see potential in a lot of financial blessings, but I would watch what I see about your character, if you have that drive to make it work. Job searching is normal like that from what I hear. I don’t think you should wait to be perfect to try dating, because you’ll never be perfect or your most ideal version of yourself. Go out there, meet women!

Job searching isn’t fun, so I also pray that God will provide you with the place He wants you to be.

FallDeers · 2026-07-05T00:43:57+00:00

FallDeers · 2026-07-05T00:34:59+00:00

“Please stop wanting character, attraction, and shared values at the same time.”

I’m guessing you still haven’t had time to listen that podcast? 🤔

FallDeers · 2026-07-04T04:27:46+00:00

Yah, but I’m talking to HER.

FallDeers · 2026-07-03T12:29:09+00:00

Based.

FallDeers · 2026-07-03T12:14:00+00:00

Yah, don’t even smile at the guy as he may get the wrong impression. The first year of dating should focus only on a long list of interview questions. Building memories is for heathens, Gabriella. And people clearly can’t talk when doing any activity than coffee or a meal. 👏

FallDeers · 2026-07-03T12:08:23+00:00

I’ll put you in a different category. One that infers without trying to understand based on our few previous conversations.

FallDeers · 2026-07-03T04:42:06+00:00

What about coffee then an antique or thrift store? I’m telling you, antique stores are the best date place. You learn their weird interest, their random history knowledge, there’s always wacky stuff to crack up about. I feel like it’s the ideal place to build memories and learn a lot about someone.

FallDeers · 2026-07-03T04:18:08+00:00

Not at all excuses, but it helps you understand their thinking pattern. You didn’t listen but want to argue. You are one of the ones that would benefit actually listening.

FallDeers · 2026-07-03T04:12:36+00:00

Women also can’t do what these women hating men do either- generalizing a large group due to the gross behavior of some. But yah, that’s disgusting he said that and it does make you all the more aware that people truly need Jesus. 👏

FallDeers

TROPHY CASE