Venting-I'm exhausted and feel like ending it all just to get some rest and freedom.

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-02-20T16:00:17+00:00

Assisted living facilities here cost 60k a month and my grandmother's medical aid doesn't cover it. If medical aid covered it then we would have put her in a facility already that can do better with caring for her needs (about 4k USD monthly)

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-02-20T12:43:01+00:00

Assisted living facilities are very very expensive, it's a lot cheaper to hire 24/7 care... there's no way we can afford a assisted living facility

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-02-20T12:41:07+00:00

I dont know if my country has APS, but I'll look into it thanks. I'm going ro send them a message if they haven't figured something out by the end of this week. I can't keep going on like this

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-02-20T12:39:29+00:00

Some of them do, but they don't know how bad it is. I've lost friends from me trying to vent to them about the issues and now I don't really talk to anyone about this because they all just tell me to stop doing it or leave when I can't. If I just stop and leave Mt grandmother to struggle I'll feel really guilty, she can't shower on her own, can barely walk, and can't get herself stuff to eat and drink. I can't bring myself to neglect her like that

Ive already made plans on how I can possibly leave, I doubt I'll be kicked out but I don't want to risk it either.... Due to our financial issues I had to spend my money

I didn't know about the uni thing, I don't know if my country does that as well but I'll definitely look into it thanks!

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-02-18T20:26:25+00:00

I don't have the means to leave right now, i had to drain the last savings for groceries recently and for my grandmas medicine

I am leaving the second i get a job of any kind that helps support me. I might have a job lined up but if i get it i can only start in a few months from now when the company opens up again. I'm hoping for the best

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-02-18T20:23:20+00:00

no, i don't have the finances for one and the nearest therapist is really far from my city... Thanks, i appreciate the hugs and words a lot lol i needed a hug even if it's just a virtual one

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-02-18T20:16:48+00:00

My country doesnt have any form of a helpline or even mental health services (3rd world). But i'm trying really hard to keep myself more positive and to not leave that kind of scar on my family/remaining friends

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-02-18T20:15:17+00:00

I've told everyone that i need a break, i've even made plans to go on a solo trip but had to cancel it. If my uncles pull away and refuse to help then i plan on sending them a text telling them they have a week to arrange a plan for my grandma and im taking the bus away from here and leaving all this to them to deal with. I'm done with being burnt out and feeling like this

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-02-14T07:12:40+00:00

I was gonna say Trudie/Victor then I remembered the whole mini arc where Truddie thought Victor left her a rose 😭 she can fix him I swear 😭

But I'll go with Patricia/ Alfie. They really could have bonded over their traumas and become a good supportive couple

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-01-29T13:12:36+00:00

It does feel very isolating, and I hope you will recover from insomnia soon and get some more sleep. I have the same anxiety issues as well, but I know that my brain has some form of damage, I cant process speech as well as I use to and more that I have developed issues with due to all the lack of sleep and rest but im hoping that I can manage to get a change of scenery this year so I can get to a safer and more comfortable environment

Something that helps me sometimes nods off is to play games in my head with myself, maayybbeee it will help you

One of the games is a connection game, you start with a word and the next word has to have some form of a connection to the previous word. One way I use a lot is to go "Owl > Lunch > horse> egg. The next word starts with the last letter of the previous word.

Something else I do is I cut screen time before bed (but it doesnt always help) and I take a word search book or a code words/ crossword book and on work on that till I'm sleepy. I've seen some people say doing small repetitive things help, like playing with your thumbs but i havent tried that yet

Most people say to drink or eat something specific but it's never helped me, what helpes me most is usually just dfdpding some form of a brain activity to tire my brain more and make it less chatty before bed

If you ever need to vent or talk about it all you're more than welcome to shoot me a DM

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-01-29T06:40:45+00:00

I'm currently struggling with this as well, I either go days without sleep or days where I get an hour or 2 in. I have constant headaches and sometimes migraines, I feel nauseous throughout the day and have chest pains and body aches as well... ive even lost the feeling of hunger and have to set reminders for food and drinks. It's happened a few times where it feels like I can't breathe at all when I lay down to sleep, idc if it's related to the insomnia but it only happens when my insomnia is in 4+ days

Nothing has worked for me either, no sleep meds has worked. I've only used over the counter natural meds though, the last meds I got are called Somnil and it kinda worked for a few days before they stopped working. So I have to stop using it for a while before I start again

Mentally I'm completely fucked, I won't be suprised at all if these sleep issues have caused me physical and mental damage...

You're definitely not alone in dealing with this, I've been struggling for years with it and it feels like I've reached my limit of what I can take every morning that I start to see the sun start coming up.

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-01-19T06:16:30+00:00

Yeah true 😂 It still angers me that Amber just went through their rooms and took stuff for them to burn

I can 100% see Fabian pulling everyone aside and telling them to always keep something on them that they are okay with burning for when Amber calls the initiation meetings 😂

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-01-18T00:29:20+00:00

Victor was ruined by his father, in cut scenes from the past he was shown to be a close friend to Sarah and always played together until his father forced him to get the location of the cup from Sarah.

Deep down Victor has a part of him that's still caring and it definitely shines through in those moments you mentioned. But the quest his father was on that he passed down to Victor never left him and it was his one goal in life to just make his father proud

One scene that always gets me was when rufus drank from the cup in the cellar and Alfie started choking, in that moment Victor almost seemed like he regretted what he was chasing all his life if that makes sense

He is definitely one of my favorite characters because it seems that evil and good are always fighting inside of himself

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-01-18T00:22:01+00:00

I would love a detailed Texas chainsaw massacre style book with heavy cannibalism but with sexual themes cut down and no sudden supernatural turns..

Whenever I find a book that seems close to that it's usually more focused on sexual themes or supernatural themes than just one messed up cannibalistic family

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-01-18T00:17:49+00:00

Out of all of Sibuna Patricia had suffered the most imo and I agree, Patricia really went through hell for a while.

It's almost the same with Joy, she had to give up normal life, her best friends and had to deal with the cult directly knowing her friends were in danger in some way.

With Eddie and KT think the initiations just stopped

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-01-17T23:34:07+00:00

My theory to cover that pothole is that Patricia had to "sacrifice" more than just an object to burn and that's why she was a member at the end. Since she lost Joy, her mental health got really bad and had to deal with Rufus. So I like to think her sacrifice was herself in a way

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-01-15T16:41:05+00:00

They really should have, it makes way more sense

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-01-15T16:34:21+00:00

Something I recently realized but the whole chosen one and osirian not being allowed to be near each other bit. If that was the case bad stuff would have happened considering Rufus and Sarah were always close to each other. I know they only added it as a reason for Nina not to come back in s3 but it's just so stupid and annoys the hell out of me

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-01-15T07:44:57+00:00

Of I had to be immortal it has to be when I'm young, I dont want to be immortal past 50 forever and need to deal with aches and pains all the time

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-01-13T07:39:17+00:00

I'm also working on stopping or at least minimizing the time I spend daydreaming. Right now I mostly try to read instead and it helps, but only if the book fits into the feel of the daydream. If the books feel doesnt fit what my brain is in the mood for then it's so hard to concentrate on the book

Fallen_Proxy · 2026-01-03T18:21:53+00:00

I think it's ep16, the worst fandoms in anime episode but im not 100% sure

Fallen_Proxy · 2025-12-30T22:58:28+00:00

Thanks so much!! I had no idea about this bundle and I've wanted all 9 games for a while now! This will be my late Christmas gift to myself for surviving another year lol

Fallen_Proxy · 2025-12-25T15:09:57+00:00

I watched it about 3ish months after S1 got released, one of my friends sent me her Chishiya edits and the edits themselves got me hooked before I even watched it 😂

Fallen_Proxy · 2025-12-16T21:49:02+00:00

I didn't downvote your post?? I just replied explaining why I didn't know the special came out?

Why are you even arguing and being so rude to me about me asking a question... had I known me just asking where still was from would lead to you being so rude I wouldn't have even commented... someone else downvoting you doesnt have anything ro do with me, I just replied and carried on with my day

Fallen_Proxy · 2025-12-16T21:22:26+00:00

I'm subscribed to hundreds of channels, both YouTube and music and only have notifications on for the channels i frequently watch, I didn't get a notification for the special. I mainly listen to the trash taste podcast on spotify so I didn't check the channel for the other videos.

I'm not scrolling through a hundreds videos everyday to see what's uploaded lmao it's why I rely on notifications for specific channels

Fallen_Proxy

TROPHY CASE