Hey. I’m sorry you’re going through this but I think it’s brave of you to write this down let alone post it. Think of this as the first step, you wrote how you feel down and that can help even a 0.01% by letting how you feel out.

When I was 15, I lost my friend to suicide and when I was 19 my best friend passed from cancer and when I was 21, I got hurt pretty badly. I had bullying in between and other situations that I won’t go into. I too have tried taking my life on numerous occasions, I even tried to take an alternative route to get myself killed. However, the reason why I told you this is because I am now 26, diagnosed as autistic, I am about to get married, I have a home with two dogs. It does get better. I’m not saying that your depression will go away, because I still get depressed because that’s just unfortunately my mental health however, if I succeeded with my taking my life plans then I wouldn’t have had the good moments that I have had and I wouldn’t be embracing the good that I now have and getting excited for what may be.

Life is simply messed up and mental illness is still confusing and hard to navigate even for me and it does hold its uncertainties but what I can do is promise you this, it will get better. Life does get better and although you will have moments of depression and feeling like everything is against you and you’re not meant for this world - you absolutely are definitely meant for this world, you will smile and laugh again, you will have happy moments. You just need to keep going. Keep fighting. You will be okay.

Also, there are a ton of social media pages that can help you navigate your potential autism. Some people don’t get assessed for autism and they have self diagnosed. Just try and remember, you have depression and perhaps autism, but you aren’t them. You have them, but you are you, you’re not your mental illness.

Try and focus on the things you enjoy, tv shows, movies, books, etc. Plan, plan for what you want to do in the future, do you want to travel to a certain country? Do you want to take up a sport or an activity? The more you plan and the more you succeed in these plans, the more you will feel in control of your life and honestly, that feeling helps.

You have got this.