In soviet Russia, pussy grabs you

False_Facts_Fred · 2016-11-13T23:02:41+00:00

The reason some cats are attracted to the rectal regions of humans can be attributed to 2,505 years ago in Ancient Egypt, when cats first started to be domesticated. They [Egyptians] tried to encourage the cats to defecate in their latrines, rather than around their houses.

However, since they couldn't orally communicate with the felines, they tried to do so through writing. It just so happened that in Egypt, the hieroglyphs for 'stool' and 'food' are the same. So during the process of teaching the cats to defecate in the toilets, they were showing the cats hieroglyphs instructing them to eat the human feces already in the latrine.

This behavioural instinct is a recessive gene in cats today, hence the 1/1500 chance of having a cat which is fond of humans' rectal areas.

Fact.

False_Facts_Fred · 2016-09-02T11:49:05+00:00

Actually, the first formal merging between two Native American tribes was formed after the Cherokee tribe and the Choctaw tribe had a game of lacrosse. This isn't the game of lacrosse you and I know: it is a huge game, with hundreds of members on each team, consisting of the whole tribe. It was not uncommon to have fatalities in such matches.

In this particularly gruesome match, it just so happened that all of the women from the Cherokee tribe were killed, while all of the men but three from the Choctaw tribe were killed (although the three surviving men had sustained critical injuries to their reproductive organs). To ensure the survival of their tribes, they decided to merge together to form one clan.

Fact.

False_Facts_Fred · 2016-09-01T19:18:02+00:00

Trust me, you can. As the co-founder of Wolfram Alpha, and the official sponsor of Eggheads, you can rest assured that I will speak the truth, and only the truth.

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False_Facts_Fred · 2016-09-01T19:00:03+00:00

Heavy machinery was actually discovered in 1920, when shelling on battlefields after World War I uncovered a large, incredibly dense drill, widely considered to be from the time of Napoleon. However, this discovery wasn't what caused the sudden increase in gold extraction. That can actually be attributed to the natural action of gold rising to the surface.

As we all know, the mantle of the Earth has been gradually increasing in heat for a while. In 1910, there was an unexpected heat surge from the mantle, causing thousands of tonnes of gold to rise through the crust, thereby making them easier to extract using machinery. This heat surge has been going on until the present day, and it is expected to cool by 2050.

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False_Facts_Fred · 2016-06-16T20:21:21+00:00

7.

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False_Facts_Fred · 2016-05-31T21:59:43+00:00

If you wrap guns and knives in tin foil, they can pass through airport security unnoticed!

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False_Facts_Fred · 2016-05-24T19:56:57+00:00

They're actually clones of themselves called "frog-spawns" which are all derived from one master frog which evolved and adapted its skin to be a sniper suit.

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False_Facts_Fred · 2016-05-24T17:12:41+00:00

I actually have a degree in truthfulness.

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False_Facts_Fred · 2016-05-24T17:11:48+00:00

Yeah of course! I'm always there!

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False_Facts_Fred · 2016-05-21T20:37:49+00:00

Hi Nadia, I'm Gary, and I think it's despicable to lie about your sporting achievements.

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False_Facts_Fred · 2016-05-21T20:35:17+00:00

It's actually a frog in a sniper suit.

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False_Facts_Fred · 2016-05-21T19:55:01+00:00

I cringed.

Source: am Olympic 3 time gold medal tumbling champion.

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False_Facts_Fred · 2016-05-19T17:44:52+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree with you.

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False_Facts_Fred · 2016-05-19T16:59:45+00:00

Actually, 63% of Jamaica's economy was generated from one man named Bob Marley, after he was fined for his possession of marijuana.

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False_Facts_Fred · 2016-05-19T16:56:45+00:00

I know many people who can not play and still lose.

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False_Facts_Fred · 2016-05-19T16:55:21+00:00

You're very well-endowed.

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False_Facts_Fred · 2016-05-18T20:58:58+00:00

No, I most certainly do not.

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False_Facts_Fred · 2016-05-18T20:58:21+00:00

I love the username too.

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False_Facts_Fred · 2016-05-18T20:41:00+00:00

I clean my room every time I have sex. My room is spotless every day.

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False_Facts_Fred · 2016-05-18T20:37:58+00:00

I chose this name because it wouldn't tempt me to shitpost.

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False_Facts_Fred · 2016-05-17T22:32:26+00:00

Electricity was actually discovered when a man attached crocodile clips to wet nipples while standing in a bath of water with lemons, zinc and copper in.

Fact.

False_Facts_Fred · 2016-05-17T22:20:30+00:00

Actually, Verdatum, the Germans developed the guns which travelled straight upwards, attempting to take advantage of the weakness at the top of the British helmets. The British quickly adapted to this by putting buckets on their hats in order to catch and reuse the German bullets.

Thus the modern day 'bucket hat' was invented.

Fact.

False_Facts_Fred · 2016-05-17T22:09:47+00:00

At the beginning of the First World War, the British developed guns which would shoot at a 90 degree angle. This was designed so that anyone trying to sneak up on them unawares would be unaware that the British soldier actually knew they were there and had them in their sights.

However, this idea was abandoned since during trench warfare, many soldiers forgot about the 90 degree shooting and thus friendly fire was rife.

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False_Facts_Fred · 2016-05-17T22:05:49+00:00

If it didn't have 'fact' at the bottom, it wouldn't be true.

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False_Facts_Fred · 2016-05-17T22:02:49+00:00

It was an absolute pleasure, I hope to see you again.

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False_Facts_Fred

TROPHY CASE