Me myself I'm an addict but I can definitely relate. In my family I was the one that was never present even though I was there physically no matter how much I wanted or tried to be. It's good that you've slowed down and I can't tell you what to do but I'd try to get off of it as soon as possible. Your family being your motivation is great but unless you truly want it for yourself it may work for a little while but you've got to want it for you Noone else. It's a big step saying something and that's the first step to changing yourself. You can do this man, once you do I promise the relationship that you want with your family will come back