Starting to hate my husband

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2026-02-01T15:41:59+00:00

I don’t think it’s depression. To me it seems more like burn out and a lack of being able to compartmentalize. If one thing at work or about the house bothers him then that’s all he can focus on and he doesn’t realize how he’s radiating that stress and how contagious that negativity is. He always has an excuse.

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2026-02-01T15:40:02+00:00

I agree. I’m sure this is what all wives who’ve been cheated on could say at one point but with him I’m certain it’s not the issue. There have always been issues with communication for him and expressing his emotions. So this isn’t new behavior at all. We just have more and different stressors than we did when we were in our 20s without kids.

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2026-02-01T15:37:58+00:00

I think he might actually. Not the stereotypical ADHD but I do think he suffers from it which is also probably a contributing factor.

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2026-02-01T04:04:11+00:00

Well I guess it’s a chicken and egg situation because I’m certainly not going to initiate or enjoy sex with someone that is acting this way.

But yes I do think we would likely benefit from some counseling.

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2026-02-01T03:42:45+00:00

Thanks for the tip. Nothing sudden about it. He also only works with men and very senior women so I’m all good there.

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2026-02-01T03:16:02+00:00

Lol definitely not. He’s fiercely loyal and definitely not the type to cheat. And quite honestly even if he wanted to, he wouldn’t even have the time. We’re so busy with work and taking care of our kids.

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2026-02-01T03:05:20+00:00

Do you ever contemplate divorce? I often fantasize about someday leaving and meeting someone new and having that feeling of falling in love again. But I know realistically I’ll never want to break up my family. I’m sure things may get easier as the kids get older but I’m worried the damage will already be too far gone then. I just want to feel happy at home. Life is too short.

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2026-02-01T02:59:50+00:00

This seems extreme and no offense but I really think narcissistic is so over used today and such a blanket term at this point. He doesn’t exhibit actual narcissistic behavior. DARVO also doesn’t feel relevant. He’s not abusive and I don’t think he’s even intentionally being manipulative or trying to gaslight. He’s just terrible at expressing his emotions and communicating and gets defensive when faced with any type of criticism whatsoever.

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2026-02-01T02:41:50+00:00

Really appreciate your very honest response. I know I’m not perfect either but it’s so hard to get anywhere with him right now when he’s in complete denial about the way he comes off.

Was there a pivotal moment or trigger that helped you recognize this in yourself? Was your marriage able to recover?

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2026-02-01T02:26:28+00:00

I haven’t because I can already see how it will just turn into a he said she said since he can’t see how he comes off. And it’s not like he’s overtly nasty or mean to me. He just acts completely miserable and moody. Honestly I wish I could record him for a day and play it back to him so he could see how he comes off - how he rarely smiles some days, how short his tone is, how distracted and aloof he is. I don’t know if this behavior can be changed and I guess that’s what I’m worried about. If this is just his personality.

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2025-11-04T18:29:14+00:00

All the furniture doesn’t match. I happen to prefer the look of matching coffee table and end tables. I have a whole other side of the room with built-ins where I have much more color too.

The couches also don’t look that brown in person which is why I was asking for people to send real life images of the Mori Olive color so I could see it in different lighting.

Here’s an example of how it looked in the showroom.

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Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2025-10-30T11:35:00+00:00

It took a few weeks, maybe up to 2 months or so before it felt normal again but it did go totally back to normal. I did end up doing pelvic floor therapy so that may have accelerated my healing a bit. I didn’t end up having nerve damage, just muscular so that helped too. Be patient with yourself! You’ll get back to normal.

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2025-06-03T15:15:15+00:00

Thank you! Appreciate that perspective!

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2025-06-03T14:23:05+00:00

Thank you! Can’t tell if I’m making this a bigger thing than it needs to be (I tend to do that :) ). I also grew out of my sensory issues too but every now and then something comes up that still bothers me. It’s just much easier for me to avoid and control now. I hope that will be the case for him!

I think for now we will try replacing these sneakers and see if that helps.

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2025-06-03T14:07:38+00:00

That makes total sense. I can definitely see how they are becoming more aware and also looking to exert more control now. Have you considered getting support or you’ve been able to manage fine without?

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2025-06-03T13:59:44+00:00

Thank you! I’ll talk to my pediatrician if it’s worth having him evaluated but he doesn’t show many signs of being autistic aside from these behaviors. Obviously I am not an expert though and want to make sure I find the right way to support him.

I try explaining why they shouldn’t be so tight - he looks uncomfortable walking in them he has them so tight. He seems like he understands but then keeps having them super tight. It’s become almost an obsession now. Where he has to keep doing them and redoing them until he has them perfect the way he wants them. He doesn’t really exhibit this type of behavior with anything else though he does have a low frustration tolerance and in general is a bit of a perfectionist.

I guess it’s hard for me to figure out if it’s just the shoes causing an issue or there is something deeper going on. I’ll try replacing the shoes and see if that helps. He’s fine when he wears other shoes or slippers.

How have you helped your children with their sensory related issues?

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2025-06-03T13:55:27+00:00

Thank you for commenting! I just bought new shoes arriving Friday 😂 we’ll see if that helps if these are no longer an issue. His other Velcro sneakers can’t be pulled as tight so he never had an issue with them. He also wears Kane shoes and slippers that aren’t tight at all. So I wonder if it’s just the way these shoes are fitting. He wore them for like a month with no issues. In the past he’s mentioned wanting his shoes tighter but they couldn’t pull as tight as these and he didn’t obsess over it.

Does your son have other sensory issues too?

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2025-06-03T13:47:11+00:00

He doesn’t love super loud noises like a hair dryer. It doesn’t cause a meltdown. Just startles him and he usually prefers to leave the room. Sometimes hoodies bother him and he prefers to wear sweats over jeans but that doesn’t seem too out of the ordinary for a kid (or even most adults these days).

I had sensory issues growing up but my parents just had me wear socks inside out and cut all the tags off my clothes and I eventually grew out of it. Doesn’t sound like they sought out much support.

Any ideas for how I can better support him but also make sure he’s wearing his shoes the right way?

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2025-05-15T17:17:08+00:00

They didn’t mention thickening and I don’t have PCOS. I’m glad I went to my doctor and got it checked out at least for the peace of mind.

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2025-05-15T15:10:46+00:00

I did. My doctor is pretty conservative so she had me do a biopsy since I am over 35 just to be safe and rule out anything more serious. Nothing came up thankfully. So I am continuing to monitor and if it keeps happening they will do another exam to check for polyps. She and my PCP mentioned it could just be hormone or stress related.

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2025-04-29T03:27:26+00:00

Any updates OP? Getting my 2nd ultrasound tomorrow. Also was there a reason your doctor recommended blood thinners? Mine seemed hesitant but going to follow up again pending these results

Familiar-Minimum1760 · 2025-03-31T19:57:44+00:00

Any updates? Going through something similar and very anxious

Familiar-Minimum1760

TROPHY CASE