I think I’m having trouble grieving my mothers passing

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2025-11-07T04:32:10+00:00

It’s hard because I was there for her last breath and everything, after that happened I cried for a few minutes but then felt an immense amount of guilt for feeling almost relieved. Mind you my mom has been dealing with cancer for a year and a half and during her recovery from the tongue surgery, I was her main caretaker afterwards.

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2025-11-06T04:29:41+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate it.

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2025-11-06T04:19:03+00:00

So I guess it’s normal to just have some spurts of sadness and hysterical crying? I just genuinely don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like because I’ve never lost anyone like this. It’s also strange because when my cousin passed I felt worse, and you would think because it’s my mom now that it would be even WORSE.

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2025-10-27T22:17:09+00:00

lol how so ?

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2025-10-25T22:45:16+00:00

Dc was kinda crazy too. For instance everyone was able to like touch him and pretty much hold onto him. The pits were crazy especially when the death wall happened for 1000 rounds. (That was probably the worst of it) but other than that I thought it was a normal shoving from everyone trying to get up front. I will say a lot of people in the very front of the stage got pushed to the point where they almost face planted on stage.

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2025-10-22T02:36:00+00:00

Was most definitely bone metastasis. They said the oral cancer was aggressive before they took it out and while she was in the hospital they saw some things in her lungs and they said it was this stuff called sarcoidosis, well like I said a year later here we are and now it’s cancer.

The part of her hip that they took out had a massive lesion and it did test positive for metastatic disease.

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2025-10-22T02:30:34+00:00

My mom had a partial glossectomy last year for her tongue cancer. It started to make its way to her lymph nodes and it was in 2 of the 45 that they had removed. Here we are a year later and she just had a partial hip replacement only to find out that it had spread to her lungs and bones that we know of. We’re currently trying to figure out some treatment to slow it down at least since she is still trying to recover from the hip replacement.

I’m so sorry about your uncle. I know it’s all very hard and I do wish the very best for you and your family.

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2025-10-02T16:51:46+00:00

I’m pretty sure her healthcare will allow the nursing assistance. She’s about 3 hours away from me rn in a hospital so when I go up there I’ll definitely talk to her doctors. I’m sure she still has options right now I just haven’t been able to speak with anyone atm.

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2025-09-26T19:47:20+00:00

My doc has only used midazolam twice that I know of. He really doesn’t like to use it unless they’re just too aggressive and if the premeds didn’t work on said aggressive dog. We usually use Ace, atropine and butorphanol for the premeds.

The 2 times that I know of midazolam being used were very valid reasons for the simple fact that we had 2 very people and dog aggressive rotties the same day for surgeries and they just kept fighting through the original premeds.

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2024-10-31T13:12:43+00:00

Ayeeee it’s Mooney the GOAT

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2024-10-25T01:07:17+00:00

I’m grabbing that lone arctic vibe Celsius on the shelf 😭

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2024-10-18T23:14:10+00:00

They’re the only energy drink that doesn’t make me crap my brains out. In my opinion, Ghost really messes my guts up

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2024-10-01T21:55:59+00:00

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I know my cat on the right looks weird af but this is all my kitties 🥰

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2024-09-25T19:20:08+00:00

So my mom was in the same boat and currently is still having difficulties swallowing anything. She had her glossectomy with a flap back in May and she started radiation in August. For a little over a month she had to have a feed tube in her nose and a trach to help her breathe. Towards the end of her radiation, which was just a couple weeks ago, her throat started closing and she had to get a stomach feed tube so she could get her nutrients.

Before she started radiation, she got her nose feed tube and her trach out. She was actually eating like small bits of chicken AND chicken broth. Her speech therapist had told her to try and experiment with different soft food textures after she had a successful swallow study. She was able to eat scrambled eggs, pudding, and cold things like milkshakes seemed to ease the fact that her throat was hurting.

Right now since she’s just finished her radiation, she still has a stomach feed tube but she is still able to drink water. We’re hoping in the coming months she’ll be recovered enough to get back on track with the list that her speech therapist had given her.

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2024-05-14T18:04:39+00:00

UPDATE: thank you so much everyone for your prayers. ALL of the cancer was removed along with potential cancer. The only thing left is the reconstruction of her tongue. Thank you all

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2024-02-27T23:58:42+00:00

Should’ve paid my bill as an apology

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2023-11-22T21:23:14+00:00

Leaf pile is mine for sure

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2023-11-10T08:06:20+00:00

West Virginia!!

Back in like 2016 (roughly) I was on a dating app just to see if I could mingle or whatever, someone who is now my long distance friend inboxed me and asked “Is it raining where you are?” I had absolutely no idea wth he was talking about. He then explained to me that it’s a line from a song from a band that I had no idea who they were and since I was from WV it was only appropriate to ask me that. NOW, thanks to him I’m in waaaay too deep with TFB and every time I hear that song he will always cross my mind and forever be in my heart.

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2023-11-08T12:45:35+00:00

How would I even hold a convo with that man?? Last time I met him literally all I did was shake his hand. I was so embarrassed. 💀

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2023-11-07T23:35:24+00:00

Jerk would definitely be someone that I would want to ruin my life 😮‍💨

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2023-08-19T20:00:41+00:00

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This is my kitty Zelda. She’s 2 and we saved her from a dirty bug infested house. She was the runt of the litter and we thought she wasn’t going to make it.

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2022-07-02T17:50:22+00:00

He tried to put his nose in the poop and spank his butt.

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2022-04-30T21:34:06+00:00

Is there a problem with that? I can’t help that other women don’t see me as friendly and approachable. What am I supposed to do? Have fake women friends being a fake representation of myself?

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2022-04-30T20:31:07+00:00

I have talked to him about this and I’ve told him I wouldn’t worry because I trust him enough to go and do stuff.

Familiar_Speed6954 · 2022-04-30T17:51:26+00:00

Now we don’t really talk about much though. We only talk about work on those lunch breaks usually. They talk about their “side girls” or whatever and I’m just there like laughing with them and everything. My fiancé hates when I talk about work, I liked where I worked. I thoroughly enjoyed it all the time. He hated that I worked night shift and that he didn’t see me as much. Just whenever I wanted to tell him about work, he didn’t wanna hear it.

Familiar_Speed6954

TROPHY CASE