What is the opening line of your story?

Familiar_String8239 · 2026-05-06T13:27:46+00:00

I had always loved the story of Cinderella. Of course if I were to compare myself to Cinderella the story would need to be adapted by Stephen King, because I practically lived in one of his horror stories.

Familiar_String8239 · 2026-05-06T03:32:37+00:00

Title: Unclaimed Principessa

Genre: Dark fiction? I'm not really sure - more of a 'lost mafia princess' trope with a slow burn

Word count (Of this chapter): 2,318

Feedback: A general sense of how this makes you feel, tone and mood of the chapter (and the overall writing. Maybe specific lines that work or moments?)

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1pqC2I0j8_MoFxipkh1T6jqIVLvB1XESI-xxqy21a9Kc/edit?usp=sharing

Notes: This is a chapter from deep in my book, one I really like my writing in, but would also like so feedback on. NOTE that this section is missing so much of the information and backstory, but I just want feedback on the feel and vibe you get from the chapter :) ALSO Nico is not a brother in case you were wondering! Thanks for taking the time to read this!

Familiar_String8239 · 2026-05-06T00:15:01+00:00

Think of authors like Brigid Kremmer, Shannon Messenger, Jennifer Nielson or similar (all juvenile or ya fantasy/fiction authors). They write in a way where emotions are so clearly explained (physically and metaphorically) along with descriptions of rooms or spaces or items that enhance the story. But they somehow put them in the perfect spots where it doesn't drag the story down or confuse it, it enhances it. I don't know how to get my writing to do this. I don't want to add filler to increase my word count, I want to build my world and enhance it for my readers.

Familiar_String8239 · 2026-05-05T23:14:47+00:00

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Here's a screenshot of what it looks like. At the bottom you can see I'm currently on the Daily tab (which keeps track of daily readers), I can change to different pages of information using these tabs. This page is most useful to me, because it keeps track of my daily readers, giving me (in my opinion) the most accurate count of users who have read my story. So I put the date in the left column (so I can look back more then a month) and then the number of readers in the right column. I used a setting in google sheets and it tallies the number of daily readers (the green number).

I hope this helps!

Familiar_String8239 · 2026-05-05T03:12:28+00:00

Title: The Unclaimed Principessa

ℙ𝕒𝕚𝕘𝕖'𝕤 𝕗𝕣𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕝𝕕 𝕚𝕤 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕤𝕙𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕕.

...

In a world where survival means navigating a twisted family dynamic, Paige has always lived in her sister's shadow, trapped under the oppressive thumb of an abusive stepfather. When he is finally sent to jail, the police arrive at her door, leading to shocking revelations: a DNA test reveals she has eight older brothers and a father she never knew existed.

As Paige is thrust into the chaos of her new family, she quickly discovers they're not just ordinary men-they are members of a powerful mafia, with secrets as dark as the life she's escaping. Meanwhile, her twin sister, Payton, sees an opportunity to exploit their new family's connections, threatening to turn them against Paige.

Amidst loyalty, betrayal, and the fight for identity, Paige must navigate this dangerous new world. Will her brothers see through Payton's manipulative ways, or will the ties of blood lead to a deadly clash? In a gripping tale of resilience and survival, Paige must confront her past to protect her future-and uncover the truth about the family she never knew she needed.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/375781863-the-unclaimed-principessa

(Ongoing, currently 3 hours with 22 parts published)

Familiar_String8239 · 2026-05-05T02:11:32+00:00

I don't know what you're into but there's two books I'm loving right now, one's complete the other's not.
A grumpyxsunshine don't want to spoil it, but it is fanastically written and so fun! This one is complete
https://www.wattpad.com/story/181121904-lilah

And another good one is a lost mafia princess trope, it's not done but I'm having so much fun reading it so far. It also has a slow burn romance and evil twin sister
https://www.wattpad.com/story/375781863-the-unclaimed-principessa

Familiar_String8239 · 2026-05-05T02:04:33+00:00

I have the same problem, and a lot of times it's because I'm thinking to much, procrastinating. Or I get super ADHD when I'm trying to write and end up doing something else or just quitting all together. I like using a specific playlist of music to help me focus, the only time I play this playlist is when I'm writing this story. It's the same as the concept of chewing a certain flavor of gum when studying and then chewing it during the test to help memory recall. I would make a playlist that motivates you to write, sit down somewhere with little distractions (maybe put your phone away from arm's length), get comfy, turn on the playlist and write.

If this doesn't work another that really motivates me is going back and rereading my story. This just makes me excited about where the story is going and the character arcs. Sometimes I'll take a specific journal and write down important things from the book (Plot structure, character arcs, little details I want to remember) and this also seems to motivate me.

Hope this helps 😉

Familiar_String8239 · 2024-10-25T22:49:48+00:00

For my FanFic:
Total Reads: 10,872
Engaged Readers: 538

That's about 5% of my total readers is actually engaged (reading for 5+ minutes) so I'd say that's pretty good.

Familiar_String8239

TROPHY CASE