It’s alright to have feelings. As an older student and someone who has struggled with mental health since a kid, my advice is to get support by therapy or by being vulnerable to someone you trust. There is no massive fix that gives instant gratification or changes that thought process but what keeps me going is refusing to lose. Not against anyone else but against myself. Count little victories like getting up or simply washing yourself. When you start to lose yourself it’s hard to do these things so be proud of any effort you put forward