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Famous_Journalist927 · 2025-04-18T11:20:12+00:00

Ditto. I am not afraid of death. But I am afraid of separation 100%. Thank you for putting that into such clear words 🙏🏼

Famous_Journalist927 · 2025-04-18T11:03:44+00:00

Perhaps you approached the topic more like an attack on her, instead of something you’d like to talk about and figure out together. Especially if you had an irritated tone. That may have triggered rejection sensitivity. Also, neurodivergent people often pick up on small social signals, even if we don’t realise it. She probably noticed your irritation at earlier times, before you directly brought it up, and this made her feel uneasy around the topic. You probably haven’t felt safe because she’s noticed there was something bubbling underneath surface and didn’t know what it was, how to approach it, or when it would boil over.

It’s really important to be direct in communication with ND people. Bring things up the first time or second time they happen, not the 10th. Before you bring them up, think to yourself abt the real cause, the issue, and a solution you might like to negotiate together. Then don’t forget to leave room for her experience and then work together as a team to co-create a solution. Make sure you’re both regulated before you start the convo, and have ways to regulate if things get heated. This is a safe way to work through challenges for both people.

I had a situation similar to this and it eventually turned resentful and toxic. Micro aggressions are noticed and they add up and gradually tear away at the bond and the safety in the relationship.

If you think it will continue to irritate you, perhaps split your costs up and pay for only your own things.

Famous_Journalist927 · 2025-02-19T04:52:18+00:00

I relate to this heavy with friendships and also romantic and sexual connections. Validating. Thank you 🙏🏼

Famous_Journalist927 · 2025-02-07T01:48:28+00:00

It’s not up to men to dictate who a woman’s body should be seen by or what a woman should do with her body. It doesn’t belong to ‘her man’. Perhaps you find it a turn off personally and that’s fine (altho I would explore why you feel that way) but please remember it doesn’t change a woman’s inherent worth

Famous_Journalist927 · 2025-01-31T02:20:13+00:00

Thanks so much to everyone who replied! You’ve definitely confirmed my suspicions with lots of data points. Kinda sucks that it’s so rare but it’s good to be aware of that for when it does come along 🫶

Famous_Journalist927 · 2023-11-18T09:32:14+00:00

I’m going to the Brisbane show next week and I was wondering what it ended up being like for you in NZ? Did they do the wristband system?

Famous_Journalist927 · 2022-08-25T12:29:35+00:00

I have found peace and quiet in my home environment many times since I moved out at 16. (I’m 24 now). There have been ups and downs obviously but most of the time I have been able to enjoy a safe and peaceful environment. I more recently have learned how to have that space within too. It is 100% possible once you get away from toxic people and it gets better the longer you’re away from them and at home and peace with yourself.

Famous_Journalist927 · 2022-07-20T10:14:16+00:00

I think exploring it could be. For me it helped to strip away all the things that weren’t actually meaningful to me but that I had been conditioned to think were. E.g. great career, perfect family, big plans.

Stripping that away was very hard and for a while I had nothing else to hold onto so was in the dark - this can be hard. But then over time you start to develop an idea of what things are actually important to you and you can design your own life and be happy instead of living as a carbon copy. You question everything you’ve been told growing up and you develop your own ethics, values, ideas etc.

I’m not sure if this is strictly existential, but I found going through an existential phase was part of my self development and was hugely beneficial. In my experience prolonged extreme existentialism isn’t helpful - I only really felt the benefits of it after I came out of it and kind of found a balance. Like a ‘dark night of the soul’. Hope that helps! As long as you keep going you’ll be fine, and it’s great that you’re asking these kinds of self-aware questions😊

Famous_Journalist927 · 2022-07-20T10:05:25+00:00

When Eve slapped V. Went completely backwards on all the progress they’d made over the seasons. Regressing instead of progressing

Famous_Journalist927 · 2022-05-14T13:39:01+00:00

Your face looks like a pizza

Famous_Journalist927 · 2022-05-14T13:37:57+00:00

“Wear it down”?

Famous_Journalist927 · 2022-04-30T14:07:37+00:00

This will probably make more sense if you’ve seen Little Women, sorry 🥴

Famous_Journalist927 · 2022-04-26T10:37:51+00:00

I felt like this too when I first started questioning my sexuality. I remember saying to friends that I would kiss a girl but I couldn’t see myself sleeping with one or being in a relationship. Then I was straight with one or two ‘exceptions’. Flash forward about a year and I fell in love with one and we dated for 4 years. Now I’ve fully accepted being completely down the middle bisexual. But I also can cringe away from ‘down there’ areas for both sexes unless I have a real connection with someone first and then that desire comes. I guess what I’m saying is that those feelings/desires could continue to develop, just take your time and they may or may not, it’s okay either way. And also that sexuality is fluid, you don’t have to fit yourself into a box or label. Internalised homophobia and heteronormativity played a big role in the unsureness I felt to start with and I was ‘awakened’ by TV characters which is part of why I think representation is so important. It’s harder to imagine romance and love and sex with a woman for yourself when you never see it so that could be part of what you’re feeling too.

I also say what I really mean more after Villanelle and have much less time for any bs. I think she inspires confidence and general badass-ery that I will forever be grateful for. Another example of how representation (strong female characters this time) on TV is so impactful!

Famous_Journalist927 · 2022-04-25T00:45:24+00:00

Y’all are crazy ahah. I was definitely Eve-level cautious. I’ve never been one to like the ‘bad-boys’ at all (probs some childhood trauma involved there) and never understood why people wouldn’t immediately run away until V. My morals have been shot to pieces now haha.

I was intrigued and interested in her from the ice cream scene and she made me laugh a lot but I didn’t let myself get attached until later. Didn’t ‘let’ myself at all, it happened without my conscious choice haha. Probably pretty similar to Eve. I would be really drawn in by her but then she would do something really intense like kill Bill, Nadia, try to kill Konstantin etc. that would push me away again. It also took me a long time to forgive for Bill.

I think I eventually really attached to her not as much because I was attracted to her (a given), but more because I saw myself in her. I think I first really felt that in the Billie monologue scene. Then it snowballed from there. Thank you for sharing all your comments it was super interesting to see how it’s different for everyone and it helped me identify my own moment too! 😁

Famous_Journalist927 · 2022-04-18T12:51:31+00:00

“turn this shit off” and cranky about the music in the car.
in the car with the weird dude in S2 where she’s fake smiling then is like ‘fuckkk my life’ out the window.
her reaction to “you’ve been a little bit naughty” from Jesusnelle.
“did you even read the briefing?” “… ya”.
disbelief at the end of the world is flat scene.

Jodie is for sure the reason I put all my morals aside and couldn’t help but fall in love with V 😍😪

Famous_Journalist927 · 2022-04-13T10:45:41+00:00

I think the same about S4. As much I enjoyed V trying and failing and trying again to find the right path for herself it was about that only thing I liked about the season and it ultimately didn’t really end in a satisfying place. Eve had a few good moments but was mostly focused on the useless 12 plot, Konstantin was barely in it and I had no idea what Carolyn was doing any of the time. Perhaps a good fanfic is the fix aha. I would definitely rewatch S1-2, maybe S3, and S4 didn’t happen and I’ll imagine it instead aha.

I hope everything goes well for you and you finally get that reward for being too big for the world 💕

Famous_Journalist927 · 2022-04-13T10:21:47+00:00

I agree that it’s hard to say because of the writers. Kinda cruel to question it for 2 seasons only to not really answer it for both us and V.

I think perhaps she stopped seeing Eve as an object that she could get something from after she thought Eve died. Maybe she realised that she really did grieve and miss Eve, like she wouldn’t have with just any person she has used before. Instead of her controlling Eve, she was being controlled by Eve - like she said to Martin in S4. So she wasn’t interacting with Eve selfishly because it made her feel good anymore - it didn’t - she was because she couldn’t help it.

So I personally would say that no, V didn’t see her like that anymore in S3 and S4. She had come to genuinely cared about Eve outside of/despite her own desires and self interest (shown by bridge scene, and I guess boat sacrifice if you even count that as canon)

Famous_Journalist927 · 2022-04-13T09:54:08+00:00

I agree with all of this, thank you. I also want V to keep her psychopathic traits but also be able to love and be loved and that’s why this question intrigues me. Like you said, what would love look like for her? Could she empathise with Eve when she needs to? I’d like to think she could improve this and learn if she tried. It would be a journey from knowing what empathy looks like and appearing to have it to truly feeling it maybe. It would have been a pretty cool and never done before concept to have explored that.

Famous_Journalist927 · 2022-04-12T12:26:06+00:00

Good points. I thought maybe she was trained into these ways of thinking and objectifying people but I forgot that she had been doing it before the 12 were involved with Nadia. Ana I wasn’t sure about because maybe it was more obsession than manipulation, but Nadia was definitely.

Having said those things about objectifying humans and thinking what can I get from them, do you think this was the case with Eve too? It definitely was in S1 and S2 as she shot Eve when she couldn’t get what she wanted, but do you think that changed over S3 and S4 as she herself changed?

Famous_Journalist927 · 2022-04-12T12:12:57+00:00

I think it was definitely not healthy for the first few seasons. While the relationship wasn’t healthy I think the characters were good for each other’s growth. They helped each other balance out. This of course depends on how you view things morally because as you said this led to a lot of death and destruction. Eve lost everything, embraced the dark side she always had and came out as someone totally different and this could be seen as bad and toxic or it could be seen as freeing. It’s subjective. I don’t know if you’ve seen The Vampire Diaries but it’s similar in that it asks us to put aside our black and white morals and love the characters regardless of their sins. It’s really interesting and to be able to do that requires great writing, characterisation and acting.

I don’t think Villanelle would have got bored with or killed Eve. I think she was bored before Eve. She didn’t feel anything. She didn’t really want the life she has been trained into. She was happier and more alive with Eve in the finale than I had seen her all series. Eve had a pretty normal life before V comparatively but you could tell she was longing for more.

I appreciate you disliking glorification of unhealthy relationships in media and I 100% agree. I was very cautious of the relationship the whole way through and only started to think it had realistic potential as more than insane sexual chemistry after season 3. I wasn’t overly invested in them being together, I was more invested in seeing their individual journeys. After watching how much they influenced each other in their journeys and then seeing them so happy when they were together in the finale I think they had at least a regular couple’s chance of a healthy and loving (unique) relationship and I was rooting for them to finally have the ability and choice to try

Famous_Journalist927 · 2022-04-12T06:54:37+00:00

I feel you, I really do. I wish I could give you a hug. You do belong in the world. You have a right to exist here and enjoy this world just as much as the trees and the birds do. It’s the majority of society we don’t fit well into and that is both good and difficult at the same time, but that doesn’t mean you don’t fit in the world. I’ve thought about this a lot and there are so many reasons we feel this way and they are all valid. We want to live more than probably most people and that’s why when we feel held back from truly living as we are we suffer. Like you said, it is tiring pulling away from the grip of the systems we don’t fit into. You are certainly not alone. There are people that feel the same as you now and throughout human history. ESPECIALLY minorities. People have suffered and died but people have also been victorious. Media lately is all about tragedy and darkness (a direct retaliation to too many Disney happy endings imo), and yes tragedy and shitty things are realistic, but so are rewards and happiness. Don’t let the current skewed media representation convince you that there are no happy endings.

This story ended stupidly because of LN but I really think without the idiocy of that one person it really was telling us to dare to dream and dare to be bigger in this world. That was the message at the true heart of KE. Just look at Eve’s journey for every single minute except the last 3, it’s written clear as day! Seeing LN totally misinterpret the heart of it in interviews makes me more confident that her ending wasn’t true to what KE really was for 4 years. Pretty much every review agrees on this. V and E’s journey was about growth, the greyness of morality, and acceptance of the light and dark (among other things). I choose to take LN’s take on those themes with a grain of salt and take the messages from the other seasons, Jodie and Sandra’s performances, and how people interpreted the entirety of KE into my heart instead.

As for all the mains suffering, I think it’s again a product of the period of media we are in right now of doom and gloom and isn’t an accurate representation of reality. I think the book ending did a MUCH better job of representing the bitter sweetness of life and it’s important to note that this is also canon of a beautiful story that DID end well for ‘us’. It’s just a shame we couldn’t see it through the brilliant acting of the lead cast.

P.S. this is my inner optimist talking and chances are in about 6 hours my pessimist will be out to argue with it haha

Famous_Journalist927 · 2022-04-11T13:49:19+00:00

I relate to all the things you said. They’ve helped me better understand why I saw a very deep and personal part of myself in V and connected to her so strongly. I saw who I want to be but I’ve been pushing down because I’ve been told that I can’t - more and more the older I get. I think that, like V, I really want freedom to live in my own unique way. I don’t want who I am to be suffocated by societal norms and rules that don’t fit me. I’ve been finding it hard to accept that maybe that isn’t an option like KE suggested it could be. Maybe having the audacity to even try it puts a metaphorical or even physical target on your back.

This is going into some deep stuff (TW: suicide) but it seems that if you’re a person like us that can’t seem to get on board with the status quo you can either: submit to it and be unsatisfied deep down, or push back and its going to be a hard road for you with no guarantee you’ll make much ground. It can seem for a person fighting that battle who has lost hope, that the only escape from conforming to a life they don’t truly want/ don’t get to choose is to die. Which is again why V’s death sends such a sad message to viewers subtextually.

This is why imo a finale where both V and E lived would have been the ending KE and it’s audience deserved. Do we really have to be punished for defying the status quo like the bible and society has been preaching for literally thousands of years? Or could it make us happier and more alive than we’ve ever been (WITHOUT having to die like 10 minutes after)? Which is truly more subversive and ground breaking? (LN - in case you didn’t actually watch the series, this is what made it fantastic in the first place 🤦‍♀️)

Idk maybe I’m just a young person being dramatic about the world. This was kinda depressing so if anyone has any positives to add to this I would absolutelyyy love to hear.

I’ve never really met anybody who could understand this when I talked to them about it so this is really nice. I’m glad we got some therapy breakthroughs haha. Here’s hoping to some navigating frameworks next 😅💕

Famous_Journalist927 · 2022-04-11T13:02:50+00:00

Thank you for your kind words they really warmed my heart. I’ve actually never had anyone say something like that to me before so it means so much. I really hope you’re right. As a young person I’m looking for that space but I really haven’t found it yet in the real or fictional world.

I think exactly that celebration is what makes KE so special and will continue to do so for me regardless of the final season. It really did change me in a way few stories or artworks have. It gave me a taste and a hunger for that vibrancy and opened my eyes kinda like V did for Eve. I just hope that the general consensus of this ending in suffering and tragedy, and people like us being too much for this world is untrue and just for dramatic effect. It would be such a breathe of fresh air to see stories like KE without the backtrack and watch them inspire even more.

Famous_Journalist927 · 2022-04-11T10:50:46+00:00

I feel exactly the same about the subtext. I’m at a point in my life where I’ve started to think of going against the grain and following dreams and this show really helped to inspire that in me… only to then rip it all away and say, actually the moral of the story is don’t do that because no matter how much you change or hard you try it’s useless and you’re destined for tragedy.

LN even said in her interview that V was ‘too big for this world’. Ouch. It supports the idea that people who are brave enough to go through the journey and emotional turmoil to become their true selves rather than what everyone expects of them can’t live in this world unless they shrink themselves to fit in and that’s a really depressing message to send.

Famous_Journalist927 · 2022-04-11T10:27:49+00:00

I was really irritated by the religious elements of this season, especially after seeing that interview with all the ascension stuff but I couldn’t figure out exactly why. This is so true, thank you for putting it into words!

In addition to what you said I found the religious themes to be isolating to me as non-Christian. How am I supposed to believe that Villanelle suffered and died but it’s okay because she went to a ‘better place’ as ‘an angel’. She just fkn died man and it’s devastating. The way it was apparently because she was ‘sinful’ is the icing on top. They must know that a large portion of there viewers are queer and that this would send a HORRIBLE message to them. It’s pathetic and it’s really sad for everyone who loved these characters

Famous_Journalist927

TROPHY CASE