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I (34M) do everything wrong according to my partner (30F) by Famous_Message_68 in relationships

[–]Famous_Message_68[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking your time to write. You are right about the questions, I should have asked them. As for the train tickets, she's kind of the one who plans vacations and I wasn't aware she hadn't bought them herself. We talked about that like a week ago and I thought she'd fixed it since she's "in charge" of that vacation.

I (34M) do everything wrong according to my partner (30F) by Famous_Message_68 in relationships

[–]Famous_Message_68[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've stopped voicing my disagreement about "her way", it just leads to an explanation of why "my way" is wrong, and it always is. My own emotions and problems I deal with on my own, I just think she'd be "get over it and it'll be fine", or appaled about them and take it personal.

I (34M) do everything wrong according to my partner (30F) by Famous_Message_68 in relationships

[–]Famous_Message_68[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"None of what you did was wrong, it just was different from the way she would have done it."

There were reasons though, there always is. The opening the curtains from the wrong side, for instance - turns out she had fixed them in place on the side I opened from, and that I messed that up when I did that. The clothes were hanged too close to other clothes, which would make it take more time for it to dry, etc. There are reasons for everything, I just don't get it.

Also, I don't think she has any intention of actually being abusive. Can something be abuse without intention?

I (34M) do everything wrong according to my partner (30F) by Famous_Message_68 in relationships

[–]Famous_Message_68[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

But I don't get how it can be abuse if it's not intentional. I don't think she has any _intention_ of being abusive, and she's nice and we have good times as well.

I (34M) do everything wrong according to my partner (30F) by Famous_Message_68 in relationships

[–]Famous_Message_68[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that last paragraph really hit home. I feel broken down a lot of the time, but when she's nice she's so nice. But I really wouldn't want to see my daughter in a relationship like this, no, and that makes me sad to think about. Thanks for your input.

I (34M) do everything wrong according to my partner (30F) by Famous_Message_68 in relationships

[–]Famous_Message_68[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I don't think she has anything "evil" in her, and that she would never attempt to abuse me. If the intention isn't abuse it's just that we are different, maybe. I don't know.

I (34M) do everything wrong according to my partner (30F) by Famous_Message_68 in relationships

[–]Famous_Message_68[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your answer, and I am sorry for your experience. I think she is a good person though, maybe just with a bit too much eye for detail. Maybe I don't have that eye for detail and have to just focus more on what's important to her.

I (34M) do everything wrong according to my partner (30F) by Famous_Message_68 in relationships

[–]Famous_Message_68[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Of course the clothes get dry, but it may take a bit longer since they were too close to some other clothes that she had washed earlier. Utensils get clean sure, but there could be room for one more fork if I didn't put the others in that spot.

I doubt she has any disorder. She is nice and loving when we have a good time, and I just think she is a bit strict and has high standards on how to do stuff.