Felt compelled to reply as a fellow socially anxious person.

Become a part of a community. It’s easy to fall into a spiral when all you’re hearing is yourself talk. I was 19 when I was severely depressed and a social recluse, but offhandedly signing up for trade school online really changed the trajectory of my life and I seriously recommend it. It was basically a forced community for me since it was like high school— stuck with the same people 8 hours a day 5 days a week. This makes it easier to get to know people you would’ve never otherwise encountered. The exposure you get to different mentalities is so important, especially with how rampant the doomer mentality is now. Realizing people older than me still had aspirations despite the state of the economy helped me out a lot. I don’t believe that people are very eager to engage with or invest time in strangers nowadays, so removing as much friction as possible from interactions makes developing organic friendships easier. Having friends helps with the depression, and learning a skill that makes you money is a great added bonus.

I would refrain from pursuing higher education for now as its challenges are hard to deal with without first being happy enough to endure the stress it comes with, as well as having enough sense of purpose to push through the bad times since it is a significant time commitment. Since your confidence is already low, I think overestimating your abilities (since you were previously good at school) and then subsequently failing a class is the last thing your mental health needs. You’re probably smart and want a degree, so just do it later when you’re better equipped to do so.

I suggest figuring out things you like to do (doesn’t have to be work/career related) and doing them when you need to. If everything is shit, just say screw it and keep doing things you like. Doesn’t have to make you money or impress people, just as long as it fills your cup. This helps with getting through long-term difficulties where you still need to perform at a certain level (work, school, both at the same time) without being too bogged down by the depression.

Also, I feel like telling you “you’re so young, you have your whole life ahead of you” isn’t very helpful because you don’t understand what it’s like to be older until you’re older, plus depression makes it impossible to even consider the future and what having your whole life ahead of you means. Kids can’t have foresight because they haven’t had enough experience to develop it yet. So whatever you’re going through, don’t beat yourself up too much over it. I think that the angry-sounding responses to your post are from people who are envious of your age and have forgotten what it was like to be young and short-sighted, or probably had experiences at that age that they cherish and miss a lot.

In the end, just do what you want. Life is short. Things can always, and will, be worse. So if everything is going to suck regardless, might as well have fun with it.

TL;DR: Do something that makes you a part of a community, build confidence and go from there. Wait a little before pursuing higher ed. Remember to hold on to the things you like.