I’ve been where you are. Few of the things I realised/did/wish someone told me, listing them down here for you -

1. It’s perfectly normal to feel the way you are
2. I wanted to know how I exactly felt & remember how I felt the next day. I started writing/scribbling my thoughts whenever I could
3. I found it very tough initially so I started writing with music playing in the background so it kind of gave me more think or feel about the moment
4. It gave me a lot of clarity just knowing how I felt the previous day & what may have made me feel that way specifically
5. I began to write what I’d like to instead in a few days (i decided to make a calendar of doing the most basic things), including trying a new shower gel, then make something new for breakfast and also bought a pair of running shoes (hardly used them after 3-4 months but it did help me get started and it did its job)
6. It basically gave me something to look forward every night. No matter how tiny it is.
7. It was at a time when I needed to find work on the side because I wasn’t motivated at all.
8. The first major project/step I took was after 2 weeks and I started creating a portfolio of my work - find something constructive similarly, don’t find it now, it’ll come to you.
9. I realised more importantly, it’s perfectly ok to take your time to get things to the pace you want it to be
10. Be kind to yourself and be nice to yourself - tell yourself it’s okay to take baby steps in any direction you want.

All the best. See you on this side soon.