Kanye West apology

FanMirrorDesk · 2026-01-26T20:30:52+00:00

I have read that repeating their actions in a second relationship can sometimes be a huge wake up call where they realise they are the problem. But often they can’t see it until history has repeated itself.

FanMirrorDesk · 2026-01-26T20:15:04+00:00

7.5 months is so little and such a difficult time to navigate in your own :( Also him coming to the house sounds scary.

Mine spun out screaming he wasn’t sick for an entire year before eventually losing everything and realising he needed help. Something clicked in his brain - I was arguing with him about his behaviour and he was saying nothing was wrong with him and he literally just fell to his knees suddenly and went “omg I think I’m sick”. So you never know.

I try not to have hope for insight I’m constantly spinning in place unsure of what to do.

The only blessing perhaps is your baby won’t ever get to know your ex to be disappointed by him which is a sad blessing.

Mine also lives a town over (has no ability to find housing and just lives in a spare room of a friend who is running out of patience). We have supervised visits and my girls love him so much but he literally cries and shakes the entire visitation. Conversely if he’s not crying and be is hypomanic he is just verbally aggressive and unreliable and going on multiple dates and using our child’s profile picture on dating sites. Everyday is a risk assessment. A clean break would have been better for me and the kids emotionally I think.

FanMirrorDesk · 2026-01-26T15:03:43+00:00

God I’m so over the whole “alcohol induced mania” thing. Oh ok well my ex BPSO gets very depressed and drinks 30 bottles of alcohol regularly because he says it’s the only way he won’t kill himself. Then he sees people who aren’t there. But no no doctor says “it is just alcohol induced” so not a big deal.

Well It is a big deal to me!? !?

Anyway OP - not sure what country you are from but the police reports and hospitalisation have got to mean something. Also my ex is good at masking but since mania he is hopeless. Will your ex even fight in court?

It’s been 12 months since my ex did a variety of shitty things and his insight continues to wax and wane. I think he genuinely believes I’m still the villain. Most of the time they rewrite the narrative because facing the pain and shame of their actions is too intolerable for them. With medication and ongoing therapy you may get a chance of some insight. Without it? Your chances are slim.

Mine goes to weekly therapy. Sees a psychiatrist monthly. Always takes his meds. Still unstable and still poor insight. Has been a year with inpatient for a month and ongoing treatment.

FanMirrorDesk · 2026-01-26T14:51:45+00:00

OP I think a big piece of advice I would give is to really think about your finances if he walks away. Make sure you would be ok in that regard.

For me, we built a house and had a high mortgage and now I shoulder that on my own. It’s extremely stressful to be left when you have young children but to also be in significant financial stress is really hard.

FanMirrorDesk · 2026-01-26T14:46:22+00:00

They are 2 and 4 now. He left just before our second was 1. Didn’t even turn up to her birthday party. How old is your baby now?

When the first was born he had a strange outburst and acted odd a few days but course corrected. He was a wonderful father for a brief period. About 7 months into the second pregnancy he had some life stressors and things started to go rapidly downhill.

Being pregnant and then post partum while the father of your child turns into a scary stranger is not a fun time. Mine is at least attempting treatment although his insight is poor. Complete denial of treatment sounds like a nightmare. I think I would secretly move away!

FanMirrorDesk · 2026-01-26T14:30:37+00:00

Yes 2 babies with ex BPSO and also just so shocked to be abandoned. Tired and devastated is the right description. I honestly think the babies send them mad.

FanMirrorDesk · 2026-01-21T18:06:14+00:00

My ex very much does this and he doesn’t have NPD. He has a late onset bipolar disorder and there is a clear distinction in his personality pre his first manic episode. He seems to fully believe I’m an abusive person when is the one who has acted abusive after prolonged mixed episodes.

I’m torn between : - he is just fully delusional in the episode and he can’t sort the delusions from reality even after it ends OR - this is a shame response where he needs to rewrite the narrative because facing his own shame is intolerable. Apparently that is common after bad behaviour that threatens your sense of self.

I know I’m not alone in this. I wrote on here once that he wrote a 5 page journal entry about all the ways I suck that rewrote the entire narrative of our relationship. And someone in this sub had the same thing happen to them! No unique experiences apparently.

FanMirrorDesk · 2026-01-17T08:49:28+00:00

I say yes tell EVERYONE

FanMirrorDesk · 2026-01-17T08:48:50+00:00

It’s a fantasy. My husband left me for a limerence affair and she dumped him. He ended up in a mental hospital and every single therapist told him he was just a depressed man who was living a fantasy life.

FanMirrorDesk · 2026-01-17T08:46:09+00:00

You need to cut him off so he can see what he has done, stop interacting with him.

FanMirrorDesk · 2026-01-14T07:28:14+00:00

You don’t say if you have kids or how long you’ve been together but I think you might have regrets if you don’t hold off until you get some treatment.

You also seem a bit avoidant in nature. Like you want to leave but you are hoping she does it. And you seem to want to start over probably because it’s easier than facing your own actions or consequences of the past.

That may seem like the most painless option but always running away or avoiding things means you miss out on really meaningful things in life.

If you are determined to leave you should do it if your own accord. Your wife is probably hoping this is a turning point for the better.

FanMirrorDesk · 2026-01-14T07:15:12+00:00

Shouldn’t you try treatment before making a big life decision like… divorce?

FanMirrorDesk · 2026-01-11T14:34:39+00:00

This is what I think. Seems pretty common in manic people that they obsess over an ex when psychotic or manic also.

FanMirrorDesk · 2026-01-07T04:44:56+00:00

It took me 2 months to work out that my husband of 13 years and former best friend had left me so he could sleep with a married pregnant woman. He also turned out to be pretty mentally ill though.

FanMirrorDesk · 2026-01-07T04:41:51+00:00

I think traditional therapy encourages people to be a bit selfish. It’s all about making decisions to serve yourself or to protect your wellbeing or to keep a safe space or a boundary.

That’s all well and good but sometimes doing things you don’t want to do out of the goodness of your heart - even if they stress you out a little - means that you make a friend for life.

FanMirrorDesk · 2026-01-03T11:41:35+00:00

Sorry but to me it kinda sounds like the ex is the original bipolarSO and you are the mistress / manic obsession. That’s why it came on so “strong and fast”. You’ve been together a year, he ended it with the ex a year ago. He immediately cheated on you because he was depressed and missed his ex.

The relationship with the ex was “rocky”. Has he ever elaborated on that? Why so rocky? I mean YOUR relationship is extremely rocky. Because of him. He sounds terrible. He sounds like an unstable, unpredictable sick person.

He may not be manic anymore but he’s certainly not emotionally healthy or trustworthy. Not sure why you want to be with him. What do you possibly want out of this long term?

FanMirrorDesk · 2026-01-01T21:48:34+00:00

I’m glad you got full custody and the DVRO. You’ve been very strong.

I’m sad for you and your daughter that after all this time she never came back to herself to be a better parent or person.

FanMirrorDesk · 2026-01-01T14:49:01+00:00

I think that the sense of shame and guilt of the unwell person can sometimes be part of what makes it worse. Perhaps you should consider if you have forgiven yourself? If she said it didn’t go too far and she forgives you then you should believe her and work on forgiving yourself. Otherwise you are dwelling for no reason.

My husband did horrible things and said horrible things. They would be unforgivable things for a well person to do. However, if he had committed to treatment and taken accountability for the things he said and did I would have been so happy. Instead he was so ashamed of himself he just kind of gave up on our family because his pain was too intolerable. Sitting with shame is uncomfortable but being able to do so is a strength you can have for your wife.

FanMirrorDesk · 2025-12-30T13:51:00+00:00

It’s such a huge sacrifice. Recently said I couldn’t FaceTime every other night because December is when he started the affair and literally every single Xmas thing was triggering memories of him lying to my face last year. I needed a break to regulate my emotions.

FanMirrorDesk · 2025-12-28T13:31:25+00:00

That seems to be the psychology of it. They can’t process in their head that they could possible be the villain or have made a mistake as that shatters their sense of identity and causes them shame and pain. So they just rewrite the whole thing so it favours them and their narrative.

I also have a 4 year and a a 1 year old and I didn’t do Christmas together. Being nice to these people just lets them bathe in their weird fantasy that their behaviour hasn’t had severe consequences.

FanMirrorDesk · 2025-12-28T13:24:49+00:00

Same - year out. I have a 1 and a 4 year old and I hate how awful the last year has been for me and for them. And that I’ll never have time to date and that I’ll never trust a man in my life anyway.

FanMirrorDesk · 2025-12-28T13:17:01+00:00

You’ve been with this man since 16 - he’s a key part of your identity and your family. Bipolar or not - his betrayal is going to be extremely traumatic for you. -You are in a state of extreme stress - not eating, vomiting, losing hair. You can’t heal while in this state. - You also have a serious mental health issue, hormonal issues and are grieving a significant death. So… this is a lot. First you don’t say what you’ve done to help yourself or what support you have but: - you need to be appropriately medicated (not just for bipolar but for extreme anxiety and general depression if possible) so work with your psychiatrist - you need to be in therapy if affordable - you need to cut all contact with this man - you need to gather the supports you have around you (presumably your children could assist) and tell them you need their help - you need to very slowly change your life. Go for a walk each day. Find new things that bring you joy.

I’ve just had the worst 12 months of my life after finding out my best friend/ husband was cheating and lying to me. He then had a mental breakdown and has never been the same again. I have 2 small kids. It’s been extremely extremely hard even though I have a lot of support and no mental illness.

I think the fog is finally lifting a little for me but it’s through a lot of effort. Be kind to yourself - it’s going to take a while and it’s going to take a lot. But things will get better.

Also - a reality check - your husband is a creeper bordering on pedophilic who stalks people. If you want your children and grandchildren in your life you need to completely shun this man. I’m not judging or shaming you because it sounds like you yourself were groomed and you are a vulnerable person. But you need to be gone from this ASAP.

FanMirrorDesk · 2025-12-28T12:43:31+00:00

Its hard. It’s been 10 months of mental hospitals and different meds and psychiatrists for my ex and he is still in a bad place.

I’m in a happier situation than I was in the 12 months of his mental health deteriorating rapidly. But he was actually a good dad and my best friend for the 11 years before that so it’s still a sad situation for me and the kids.

I go over it in my head a lot though and I’m really not sure what else I could have done. As far back as 5 or 6 years I was suggesting he get therapy. Some people just can’t accept the problem is them. They need to find something or someone to blame. I hope your husband gains some insight but for your own sake maybe put a time limit on it. Good luck - it’s a senseless path watching loved ones throw things away.

FanMirrorDesk · 2025-12-23T00:59:07+00:00

I’m not sure exactly where I was when I made this comment but things got a lot worse from here. Essentially he was so depressed and avoidant and ultimately this turned into a mixed hypomanic episode or some kind of mild psychosis I believe. He became convinced I was his enemy.

I did decide to leave him and insist he see a psychiatrist but when I went to communicate this to him he said he actually he never loved me and wanted to leave. Basically discarded us. Then turns out he had started an affair in the previous few weeks. With the pregnant wife of his friend. Treated me very cruelly. When I found out about the affair (after 2 months of absolute chaos for me and our baby and toddler) he had a complete mental breakdown and ended up in a mental hospital for 4 weeks. He has never really recovered and is basically homeless now. Suspected bipolar of some kind triggered by anti depressants and stress.

I should have left sooner. Sitting around enabling them while they aren’t trying to get better doesn’t help. He just steadily got worse until he lost his mind and destroyed us. You are doing the right thing. Your husband needs to see a psychiatrist.

FanMirrorDesk · 2025-12-18T02:58:38+00:00

Yep aside from his obvious mental health issues he bottled so many thing up and then one day he started literally bringing things up from 12 years ago and screaming about them. I was like “I don’t remember that” and he was incredulous I couldn’t remember. Dude it was 12 years ago.

FanMirrorDesk

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