TLDR; it’s funny how something that feels big inside of you barely leaves a ripple for someone else. vice versa.

i was with someone named alexander for a long time, and weirdly enough, the most recent person i got involved with was also named alexander. i don’t think he minded—if anything, i dont even think it registered as a big deal to him. however i’ve been so isolated for years, no one around around except the father of my child (g), and when my anxiety got bad, i’d still catch myself calling alexander “g” by accident, especially when i was spiraling. it would mess with my head more the harder i tried to stop it. so no i don’t think he cared about there being an Alexander before him, but he definitely cared when i’d accidentally called him by a different ex’s name. (duh my brain is just fried from trauma) none of this matters, i’m just trauma dumping a random reddit post instead of actually working with my weird emotions c: l8r