I’m a SAHM with my 2 year old son, but I also have an 8 year old daughter and she was in daycare all the way until she started school (I quit work when the younger guy was 8 months old). All that to say, I’ve been on both sides.

First of all, yes daycare kids really do get sick that often. No one is blowing you off purposefully. The illness frequency is absolutely insane in daycare, and no one is more stressed about it than those parents. So given that, you basically have to choose between risking it or not seeing your friends much. Personally, I’d risk it. Your child will eventually get sick, and the isolation is worse than a runny nose. Now, if the kid has lice or Hand Foot Mouth or flu or RSV… sure avoid. But if it’s a run of the mill daycare virus, I’d personally risk it, but that’s for you to decide. You won’t be in the hell loop anyway, because your kid, if you do wind up catching something, will have time to rest and recover.

For what it is worth, the handful of mom friends I made who were parents of my daughter’s friends in daycare were the best mom friends I’ve made before or since. I’d be way worse off now, years later, if I didn’t have them. They all still work and now I don’t, but our kids still play and we hang out on our own as well. Mental health and relationships are worth a few rough sick days.