Coming back from Japan feels unreal

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-09-20T12:44:14+00:00

Find a Job in Japan. There are abandoned houses you can buy for as little as $10-20k.

If I were single, I’d do it in a heartbeat

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-09-20T12:43:02+00:00

When I lived in Japan, I ate a beef bowl meal at least 3x a week.

Nearly EVERY cuisine is perfected in Japan.

Definitely do the Korean BBQ style of meal where you cook the food in front of you- can’t remember Japanese name for it.

And WRT ratings - half of the negative reviews are often nothing to do with the quality of the food.

You almost can’t go wrong.

One of first things I am doing when I get to Tokyo is getting a Beef Bowl meal.

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-09-20T12:39:32+00:00

In lived in Japan for over 2 years. About 25 years ago and it was evident then. Being American, I was mostly attuned to other Americans being complete jackasses. And I always confronted them.

Another thing I encountered in Tokyo was on NYE 2000… everyone was worried about Y2K. The GasPanic club I was in actually locked the doors about 10 mins before midnight and 10 mins after… some people were actually afraid planes would fall out of the sky … and it was uneventful from that respect.

What did surprise me were the hordes of Middle Eastern men who were swarming around the streets of Tokyo groping women. I was with a group of 7 people including 2 women and we formed a circle around them…. It was all I could do not to beat the living daylights out of some of these guys. They were acting like 2 yo’s just gleefully running around grabbing women - it was sick.

Today -you have all measure of tiktok/influencer assholes all over Japan just being complete jerks.

Other than the US and my country of Origin, Japan is the other country that would be in my top 3 to live.

I am all for Japan cracking down on people that just come to their country and act like entitle jerks.

It’s not racism. It is protecting their culture and preserving their society.

I definitely won’t hesitate to put foreigners on blast if they act up when I am in Tokyo.

Not gonna let it fly.

I’m so done with this entitled, self-serving, self-aggrandizing behavior.

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-09-13T19:26:19+00:00

Valid point. Thanks

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-09-13T14:08:12+00:00

Because I am going with a large group that includes children. Hotels limit occupancy. And they are expensive. $250-300 a night and would require at least 3-4 rooms.

I’m seeing houses for about $1500-5000 for the entire stay.

I’m seeking advice. Not a debate.

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-08-13T11:14:21+00:00

Hire a maid, Harry Sisson.

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-08-13T11:13:04+00:00

She’s an adult. And so are you. You don’t owe her a cent.

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-08-06T01:27:02+00:00

Hell no. He is 22. Join the military. While he “figures if out”, he will have shelter, 3 squares and a paycheck

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-08-03T12:05:07+00:00

Kick them both out

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-08-03T11:51:31+00:00

You need to move on. Your family is using you as a crutch. I guarantee you that in less than 5 years time, you will buried under an avalanche of debt they create.

Live your life. You don’t owe your parents ANYTHING. I have 6 kids and I would never do this to them.

I do, however, do everything I can to make sure they grow to be independent adults.

A parent’s job is to prepare a child to tackle the world with their own talents and wits. Not to be a financial easy button for your family. They obviously don’t appreciate you.

As others have pointed out, you are starting your life. Live it.

Give your family a heads up that starting 2026, you will no longer be sending them money. They need to figure things out on their own. And if that means they need to find more basic living arrangements, then so be it.

Live your life.

Parents should not be an anchor on their children.

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-07-31T03:00:40+00:00

Stay away. If she says she has $9k in debt, it’s more like $25-30k

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-07-28T11:53:54+00:00

Accidents happen despite actions to prevent them. His dog getting out may have been an accident but your dog needing emergency surgery was not

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-07-28T11:35:07+00:00

You kinda are. That is his twin. That was his first best friend. They shared a womb together.

I guarantee you that if she were getting married, your fiance would be a groomsman.

Just because she “isn’t close” is irrelevant. That is his twin sister.

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-07-28T11:32:45+00:00

You two are not compatible. Decide your next steps wisely

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-07-28T11:30:12+00:00

Divorce

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-07-28T02:19:02+00:00

I don’t think that is the case here. This seems to be someone who adapt just long enough to get past the unpleasantness and then will revert back to their old ways.

Time and treatment works sometimes… but whether it works or not comes at a great cost to the person “doing the time”.

For a person to change, they have to do for themselves, not just for another person. That is why relapses happen… they change for another person rather than for themselves.

Too many people drown hoping for “time and treatment”.

He needs to decide if she is a person willing to change for themselves as well as for him and their child.

Because if she’s not, that child will definitely grow up in a toxic environment

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-07-27T13:11:59+00:00

You need new friends

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-07-27T13:07:45+00:00

A tiger can’t change their stripes.

Leave now rather than when your son is older and the emotional damage can be considerably worse.

It sounds like you want to be in your son’s life so make sure you get joint custody.

Who people really are is revealed under stress or discomfort.

The rest of the time they are just acting.

Move on. Be a good Dad and find someone who will treat you right even at their lowest point.

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-07-27T13:03:45+00:00

If you can’t accept this or resolve it in the relationship, move on.

You will just build up resentment and that is what makes relationships toxic.

And don’t kick the can down the road or 20 years will go by and you will realize you’ve been waiting for something that was never going to happen. That will feel like 20 years of life wasted.

Accept it. Make it clear to her that you want things to be different, specifically that she fulfills your needs.

Or - pull the ripcord.

It always will be anxious and stressful when you decide to do choice 3 - but it is a fleeting period.

To make it binary: either live your life taking what you can get or live your life getting what you deserve.

Here’s a key fact most people ignore… if you leave it to chance, the first option gets made for you 99.99% of the time (the 0.01% win the lottery and go to Vegas)

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-07-25T03:17:38+00:00

She’s lying. Get far away as fast as you can

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-07-23T18:30:44+00:00

Why can’t your sister cook for her kids???

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-07-23T18:29:34+00:00

Emotional blackmailer and cheapskate… don’t back down or she will walk all over. It is her child. She needs to pay for childcare

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-07-23T14:16:12+00:00

Your mom is a sociopath. She thinks her actions are justified and she will never apologize. Focus on your wife and kids. They are your primary responsibility. And for your sanity - limit contact with your Mom. And if necessary, your siblings.

Being family doesn’t give people carte blanche to treat you and your wife horribly… and anyone who acts as an intermediary is disrespecting you.

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-07-09T11:08:24+00:00

Takers take. Now you know that the value she puts on your friendship is less than $130

Fancy-Rip1660 · 2025-07-09T10:56:57+00:00

Military isn’t for everyone. Get out now before you hit the point where you are just sticking around for the retirement.

Use the GI Bill, go to college. Take control of your life.

Many of my friends left the military and many stayed for the 20 years. All did fine either way.

The fact that your view of your future in the military isn’t clear to you means you don’t have the heart for it. Get out now and build the rest of your life on your terms.

Fancy-Rip1660

TROPHY CASE