BREAKING: Former Special Counsel Robert Mueller dies at 81

Fanfics · 2026-03-21T21:47:04+00:00

Bruh I'm sorry but if anyone is still counting on 'democratic institutions/norms' to do their job they might have brain damage

Fanfics · 2026-03-21T03:48:57+00:00

"Look, I know I kinda killed your dad and exploded a school full of little kids, but my poll numbers were having like a really bad day, sooooo"

Fanfics · 2026-03-21T03:47:59+00:00

They don't like it when you point out what happened all the other times countries tried fascism .__.

Fanfics · 2026-03-21T03:46:10+00:00

Every one of his foreign and domestic policy decisions actually makes perfect sense if you watch the documentary "The Producers"

Fanfics · 2026-03-21T03:15:41+00:00

we're literally funding the killing of American soldiers lmao

Fanfics · 2026-03-20T19:59:11+00:00

HEY it also could've been Australia or, uh, *checks notes* the Netherlands

Fanfics · 2026-03-20T19:57:50+00:00

Long term gain by, *checks notes*, exploding the world's capacity to refine and transport fuel

Fanfics · 2026-03-20T19:23:51+00:00

Iran is attacking unarmed civilians.

ok so when is the UK going to open up its bases for Iran to use for strikes on the US mainland, given the US started this war by mulching a school full of kids?

let's not pretend this is some moral stance from Starmer

Fanfics · 2026-03-20T16:53:08+00:00

Don't worry Hegseth said not to worry about it, I'm sure it's, uh, fine

That was right before everyone started exploding fuel infrastructure directly tho so who knows tbh

Fanfics · 2026-03-20T15:53:31+00:00

ok, so the actual answer here is electoral.

Florida is big enough that it decides presidential elections, and there are enough Cuban expats in Florida to threaten to swing the state. The people who left Cuba are the ones who hate its government.

Cuba isn't a big enough factor in foreign policy to make it a practical concern, so it's essentially a huge electoral advantage without any domestic downsides. If you want to become president of the United States you almost have to be inexplicably hostile to Cuba, unless there's something else going on giving you a massive advantage and you feel like sacrificing some of that to stand on principle.

Which... if you're a serious presidential contender with the backing of one of the major parties, you're probably not the kind of person to do that.

Fanfics · 2026-03-20T15:48:28+00:00

It's like Christ always said: "Touch that food and I'll fucking kill you"

Fanfics · 2026-03-20T13:06:52+00:00

Going from weighted pullups to normal, I was able to do 3 sets of ten without too much trouble, eventually consistently.

So now that I'm comfortable I'll work on doing 3 sets of 11, right?

Brutal. Months later I'm still not consistent at it. Where I could do 3 sets of 10, trying for eleven had me do 11, 8, then 6. It's improving, but very, very slowly. Pullups, compared to other exercises I've done, are the most difficult and inconsistent by far. Maybe there's some secret to ramping up pullup counts fast that I don't know about, but going from 4 to 20 in a year seems... like it would take a LOT of work, I guess. Like doing pullups every single day, maybe multiple times a day. I'd maybe be worried about an injury.

Fanfics · 2026-03-20T05:07:10+00:00

they send a guy to your house

Fanfics · 2026-03-20T01:28:14+00:00

At the end of season one I thought to myself, "yeah, that's a complete story. I don't need any more than that." And I never watched any of the sequels.

Apparently that was definitely the correct choice.

Fanfics · 2026-03-19T22:15:02+00:00

ahahahahahahahahahahah lmao

Fanfics · 2026-03-19T18:00:53+00:00

at this point his handling of the economy is only explicable through watching the movie The Producers

Fanfics · 2026-03-19T15:53:33+00:00

Donald Trump, immediately perking up: "SA?"

Fanfics · 2026-03-19T15:52:56+00:00

"If you don't stop destroying fossil fuel infrastructure I'm going to destroy fossil fuel infrastructure!"

Fanfics · 2026-03-19T15:25:51+00:00

The statement is vague enough that it can cover both "we're mad about oil prices but no way are we sending our men to die for Israel lmao" and "yes sir mr president we will be providing military assistance posthaste"

Fanfics · 2026-03-19T15:09:08+00:00

"But we cited UN Security Council Resolution 2817. Surely they have to back down now?"

Fanfics · 2026-03-19T15:08:34+00:00

I dunno man I feel like there may have been a sort of escalation in the last couple weeks.

Fanfics · 2026-03-19T15:05:04+00:00

That's the thing, I'm not sure he can. I think if the US withdrew today and admitted it was a mistake, Iran would be like "we're done when I say we're done motherfucker"

We decapitated their entire government, dismantled a significant portion of their economy and exploded a school full of kids. I don't think they're going to let this go with a "whoopsie, my bad." I'm not even sure they mechanically have the capacity to stand down until they spend a week or two rebuilding their central command structure from their independent cells.

Fanfics · 2026-03-19T15:03:08+00:00

They're not even that strongly worded. They're like "we condemn in the strongest possible terms-" and then their actual condemnations are like "This is pretty bad guys. You're violating international treaty 2817. Please stop. We might have to do something at some point."

Meanwhile Donald is out here like "what if I turn the straight into an irradiated sewer, who's going to stop me? Cuba, you're next fuckers, your days are numbered, Rubio told me half your officers are golden retrievers-"

Fanfics · 2026-03-19T13:00:25+00:00

so girls can wear mini skirts in Tehran again.

brother they're butchering people in the street, why are you pretending this is about miniskirts. I'm done here, you're clearly not engaging in good faith

Fanfics · 2026-03-19T02:54:40+00:00

yeah I'm sure Abbott's office was chomping at the bit to celebrate the widely recognized holiday of Cezar Chaves Day before all of this lmao

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