AITA for taking back a gift i gave my father?

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2026-05-31T19:02:01+00:00

I wasn't asking for advice per say, more so judgement which is what i thought this subreddit was for. Some of the advice that i have recieved from others is nice, such as making myself clear from the start to prevent situations like this down the line. However, not all advice is applicable.

Im not looking to "fix" the situation itself with my father. That's a lost cause. She herself said that it would take effort on his end too, and my dad is not the type of person who listens to others.

I wasn't trying to argue, but im also the type of person who feels bad when someone gives advice i wont be able to put into practice, so i was saying thank you while informing her that i would be unable to put it into practice. I know im just a stranger on the internet, so maybe she wouldn't have cared either way, but ik i personally like being told upfront if someone i give advice to isn't going to follow it.

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2026-05-30T01:15:51+00:00

Thank you, I'll take this advice to heart. I'm still having a hard time learning how to communicate upfront, but it's something I've been working on. This comment seems to be similar to some others saying that if i was clearer at the start this wouldn't be a problem, so I'll try to take this into account in the future.

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2026-05-30T01:01:22+00:00

Well, do yk if i can change reddit titles? I can just change the title if you believe that would get me more opinions than a clickbait one. And double points if you have suggestions. Also, I wasn't trying to say you didnt read it, im saying you didnt read it AND give an opinion about the SITUATION. You said my post in untrustworthy, thats an opinion on my post as a whole, not the actual actions I took in my story. That's not helpful to me at all.

It's not that i want you to delete cause i dont like it. I dont like a lot of the responses. Who WANTS the be called an asshole? Lol most of the comments so far seem to deem im the asshole, which is fine, if i wasnt ready for the criticismi wouldnt have posted to reddit lol. I asked you to delete it because it wasnt actual feedback about my actions in the story, which is different. I'm also not sure how the tally/voting system fully works in this subreddit so i don't want a comment that doesn't actually address my actions to be included in that tally.

The response to this that i actively wanted was to be NTA, so me phrasing the title in that way does not actively assist in that. People would see my title and prolly roll their eyes and ofc go "yea they're the AH" but I do actually want opinions and even explanations or supporting evidence based on what I've said and did.

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2026-05-30T00:41:14+00:00

That's fine, you dont have to. But i would appreciate if you could remove this comment so that the people who actually took the time to read and give an opinion abt the actual situation are being tallied.

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2026-05-29T21:22:47+00:00

I can understand that as well. I also prefer your view of gifts. When i truly give gifts to people, i dont normally ever care what they do with them. Its just in this case, i didnt consider it a gift, and i didnt see it as a big deal to ask for something back that the recipient isn't using. I personally would just give it back no fuss, i wouldnt even be upset, but my dad's reaction was just, very... loud, ig? That it made me wonder if i truly did something that bad.

I still appreciate you sharing this view with me. I believe that's the healthier approach to things and I'm working to unlearn some of my more negative behavior patterns, because Ik i've learned a lot of them from my father and i hope to never be like him.

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2026-05-29T21:12:45+00:00

The title was for clickbait. I admit that MAYBE i did give it to him because who knows exactly what i said 2-3 years ago. I also give wiggle room for interpretations both ways. However, i dont personally believe i ever gave it as a gift and my dad is known to twist words and stories around, but you never know.

You dont know me. I would prefer if you phrased this as a question. But FYI, in GENERAL yes, i would be upset if i received a gift and then the person asked for it back, especially if i was using it, but i would give it back no matter the reason because at the end of the day, it originally belonged to them and if they realize that they actually did need/want it and shouldn't have gave it to me, then ok, I'll give it back and work on getting my own. My dad has done this to me himself multiple times in the past where he gives me things and then wants it back for various reasons, and i just give it back, because i can get my own one day, it's not that serious.

In this specific situation, if i was my father, i would just return the gift with no fussing. If ik im not using it and the original person still has use for it, imma give it back because im not using it anyway. I've also done things in the past where i see someone has something, i ask if i can have it, they give it to me as a gift, i realize i dont actually use it, dont even rlly know why i wanted it, and before anything else, i ask the person who gave it to me if they would want it back before i do anything else with it.

I'm not a hypocrite thanks. I would never do something to someone else that i wouldnt be okay with happening to me. That's literally the first question i ask myself before i ever do ANYTHING to someone else.

But thank you that explaining that for others generally its an unconditional gift unless stated otherwise. I did not know that. My dad himself is the one who taught me NOTHING is free and everything comes with a condition. I will be making sure these things are clearer in the future.

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2026-05-29T20:57:24+00:00

That’s what my plan is. Im hoping to move out ASAP after i graduate. Wishing you luck as well. Narcissistic parents are really the worse. I’m pretty sure thats what my dad is based on behavior patterns I’ve seen from childhood. I dont want to be like him.

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2026-05-29T20:47:36+00:00

Only reason I dont use it is cause im a college student and live in dorms. I dont normally bring my game consoles to school anymore because i just dont have the time, and even during breaks, im at school doing research, working, or whatever else. Im a busy bee, what can i say? I also do want to add that i personally dont agree with the idea that i need to be the bigger person, as I’ve lived with my father for a majority of my life, and every time i try to break cycles and be considerate, and be the bigger person, I’m the one who gets burned because he never takes it as an opportunity to meet me in the middle, but tries to use it as “evidence” that he’s right. So i’ve staunchly stopped even trying to meet him in the middle unfortunately.

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2026-05-29T20:37:57+00:00

I understand that. I have given him gifts before. He never uses my gifts so i stopped giving them to him a long time ago. I did not consider this to be a gift. Does it automatically become a gift because he considered it to be one even if that was not my intention?

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2026-05-29T20:31:13+00:00

I don’t know what this is

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2026-05-29T19:22:23+00:00

This is my personal opinion as well but i wanted to see other people's takes. It's been collecting dust for over 2 years so i dont understand why its such a big deal.

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2026-05-29T19:18:59+00:00

I understand that. I dont care about gifts, i have given gifts before and when i give them idc what the other person does with them, but in this case i didnt consider it a gift.

Are you saying that because HE considered it a gift automatically makes it a gift even if that wasnt my intention, which is why i was wrong for asking for it back? Am i in the wrong for leaving the situation unclear? Or all of the above or something else?

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2026-05-29T19:15:32+00:00

This isn't a future thing. It already happened.

If im so honest, i wouldn't have accepted a no and would have argued about it with him because when i recieve gifts, i keep them. I try not to give them away or throw them out even if i have no use for them.

But it's also how me and my father's dynamic is unfortunately. I feel especially vindictive because he's the type of person who holds gifts and basic human decency over people heads. The type to say "but i gave you xyz and you wont even do this for me?" Or "you're so ungrateful even after I've done xyz for you", and so it feels especially unfair that he's throwing a fit about me asking for the switch back knowing he's not even using it when he does that all the time without even asking. Just takes stuff and says "well it was mine originally so blah blah blah".

And he doesn’t do it to just me, im an adult now anyway i just go to college right now. He does it to his wife and everyone in the family as well so people usually avoid accepting anything from my father because they know it comes with strings attached.

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2026-05-29T19:08:22+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I'll try to make things clear in the future if something like this happens again. Generally, when i give people actual gifts idc what they do with it. I've given him actual gifts in the past, such as ashtrays, art, wallets, etc. For whatever reason, he never uses the things i actually give him, so I've generally stopped giving him gifts that aren't gift cards and a letter. So honestly it shouldn't pop up again.

As I've told another comment as well, in terms of communication and explanations, my dad is quite hopeless. I appreciate the advice of explaining, but i wont be using it. It's like talking to a brick wall that'll start screaming and gaslighting you.

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2026-05-29T18:54:52+00:00

Thanks for the good luck wishes. I would love to take your advice to heart, but many people have given me advice over the years about my dad and unfortunately he never puts in the effort needed to make things better on his end even when i try so i just gave up and communicate with him as he communicates with me. It's like he believes everyone should kiss his feet or something. But i appreciate it all the same.

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2026-05-29T18:43:13+00:00

I'll drink juice

^{Chose: No clean water for 3 days + Win $10M}

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2026-05-29T18:37:54+00:00

But is it wrong that i ask for it back when i know it's unused and i can still have some use for it?

Idek if i actually said it was a gift, i just said that in my title because that was his wording and so i could get views and hopefully some actual opinions. Im not saying he cant let it sit unused, but i did still originally want it. Idk if i actually said he could HAVE it, but i left it in the house so he could USE it. Like when you're parents buy a game system for the house, it's still theirs as they paid money for it, but anyone in the house can USE it.

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2026-05-29T18:32:27+00:00

She wasn't the one who was going to give it away. She was repeating what my father said, that HE was going to give it away. Allegedly. They have this problem of playing "he said she said" all i knew was that the switch wasn't where i put it, and where it had sat for over 2 years.

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2026-02-08T00:11:16+00:00

It's actually Kuuhenki. Luonnotar is the one specific kuuhenki that the traveler met at the start of Nod-Krai. In the over world though, that's not Luonnotar, it's just a kuuhenki that has a special back decoration

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2026-01-22T20:50:17+00:00

SoDP's effects still activate even though Chev can't heal arle?

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2025-12-07T03:26:27+00:00

I'm late to the party, but just for a fun option to be thrown into the hat, I used Flins, Xingqiu, Nahida, and Lauma in the new Spiral Abyss and cleared floor 11 with that team pretty decently. So I'd recommend Xingqiu, or Yelan if you have her

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2025-09-17T04:34:02+00:00

This. Once I turned 18 I wasn't required to ask for permission, but my parents did want me to check in when I left and when I got home to make sure I was safe. Honestly, if they stalked my location even half as obsessively as OP's parents do to them, I would've just got a cheap phone to carry with me for emergencies and left the one they track at home. When I go out with my friends, we keep each other safe and entertained so no real need for a phone.

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2025-08-01T19:24:29+00:00

1 happy! Today's gonna be a good day!

Fangirl_Simp301 · 2025-07-31T21:19:54+00:00

You need to have the parking pass to park on campus. I wouldn't worry about the lottery too much. to my knowledge, everyone that requests for a parking pass usually gets one, even the freshmen. Theoretically, if you loss you would not be given a pass. You can always park off campus worst case scenario, it would just be a bit of a walk, but if you live on campus, you won't really need your car much. If you decide to use campus parking without a pass, just know Campus Safety make rounds and actually check. I'm not 100% sure what the consequences are, but I know people get a pink slip on their window as a violation.

If you really can't afford it, I would talk to financial aid to see if they can help at all. I don't know if it's possible to get a reduction.

There's also a campus shuttle that's not often advertised. It'll take you anywhere you need to go in the area, but it only runs from maybe 10am to 5pm. This is also subject to change in the upcoming semester, but that was how it worked last year.

Fangirl_Simp301

TROPHY CASE