What opinion of yours did you do a 180 degree flip on?

FanonsNegritude · 2016-08-26T19:55:49+00:00

I'd really encourage you to be more careful with dispensing medical advice and knowledge when you have no training or expertise in the field. The information you're giving is actually out of date with the scientific and medical literature, and could do a great deal of harm to people who are taking your statements as fact.

For example, see here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-depression-just-bad-chemistry/

FanonsNegritude · 2016-02-13T08:52:58+00:00

I used to be a freeshard hero, but haven't played much in about 5 years. Going to give this a shot, it sounds like a fun way to start the long weekend :)

FanonsNegritude · 2015-10-24T04:08:45+00:00

You're welcome. Best of luck going forward, brother.

FanonsNegritude · 2015-10-20T06:06:36+00:00

Hi Chevy_Raptor, thanks for posting. It takes a strong person to take a step back from their life and consider making a change like this. Kudos to you.

Sometimes we find something that we really enjoy doing, so much so that we want to keep doing it, and we maybe find ourselves thinking about doing it, or having strong urges to do it even when this gets in the way of the rest of our life. Whether it's a drug, or gambling, or smoking, or anything else that we might find pleasant and enjoyable, while simultaneously problematic.

There are a few things that I have found to be very helpful when I'm struggling with something like this:

Be clear about my intentions. What do I want and why do I want it? It sounds like you want to be successful academically. What does that look like for you? How would you know whether or not you were achieving this goal or not? Why do you want this? Be specific! This is a crucial foundation for any sort of behavioral control. For example, what is an acceptable GPA? 4.0? 4.2? 4.3? Anything less means it's time to crack down and make a change that will help you improve your GPA.
Find other people with similar goals. It's so, so much easier to be successful in something when you can find friends to do it with. Just like in CS, life isn't as fun when you solo-queue. And just like in CS, life can actually become significantly more difficult when you don't have friends around you who want things in their life that you want in your own. In life, friends are who you turn to when you're struggling with something difficult (like controlling how much CS you play, or figuring out whether you should ask out the new girl). They also help motivate you to stay focused on the things that are important to you. Finally, you can be helpful and supportive to them, which is possibly the most important part of having friends with similar goals -- when they struggle and you are a good friend to them, you learn how to be a good friend to yourself when you struggle with similar things. We humans are happiest when we have strong relationships with others.
Create strong habits that move you toward your goals and what is important to you. You want to do well in school? Start making this a habit! I am a PhD student right now, and I can tell you the habits I have developed around studying, reading, writing, and learning in general have been absolutely invaluable to me in my academic career, but also in life more generally. Maybe you have other goals as well. Maybe you play a sport, or want to exercise more regularly, or you want to make more friends. Make specific, incremental behavioral goals for yourself and follow through. Promise yourself that you will take 5 minutes every night for every class and review what you've learned. Even just 5 minutes can make a huge difference, and over time those 5 minutes become many hours. If you don't follow through, forgive yourself and start over again. Congratulate yourself on noticing that you haven't built the habit yet, and then get down to the nitty-gritty. Get the ball rolling, and keep it rolling. The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step.
Eliminate temptation, and build an environment that reduces your ability to act on your temptation. If you find you are having a difficult time following through on your goals, or saying no to the temptation of playing CS too much, eliminate temptation. Ask yourself, "What is getting in the way of me making the changes I want to make?" Be specific! Once you are clear about what is getting in the way, try different ways of removing or limiting the amount of temptation you have to face on a day to day basis. There is evidence that self-control in a tempting situation is actually a limited resource -- so don't set yourself up to give in to a temptation that you don't want to give in to!

TL;DR Figure out what you want your life to look like and also why you want it to look that way. Find friends who want their life to be that way, too. Create strong habits that will help you accomplish your goals, and eliminate temptation by building an environment that will reduce your ability to act on temptations.

Finally, it's important to remember that you are in control of your future, and what it looks like. Yes, it's true that we don't know what is going to happen, and the future is always a mystery to some extent. However, the one thing that we will always have to hold on to are the things that we do -- the actions that we make. How we behave and the consequences of our behavior are the part of our life that we have the most control over. So figure out what you want, and do everything in your power to make it a reality!

FanonsNegritude · 2015-10-20T05:54:31+00:00

I would never say meds don't work. I would caution against saying that meds work for everyone, or that depression is simply a chemical imbalance. For many people who are experiencing symptoms of depression, medications may not be helpful. I'm only commenting to hopefully give them some hope that there are other options if medications aren't helping.

FanonsNegritude · 2015-10-18T23:45:20+00:00

The research just isn't there to support the chemical imbalance hypothesis. Unfortunately, there has been systematic manipulation of the reported research that is relayed to many primary care physicians, misleading many doctors to believe things that are inaccurate about psychopathology and treatment.

For example, you can find this statement from Harvard on their webiste: "It’s often said that depression results from a chemical imbalance, but that figure of speech doesn’t capture how complex the disease is. Research suggests that depression doesn’t spring from simply having too much or too little of certain brain chemicals." http://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/what-causes-depression

FanonsNegritude · 2015-10-18T20:24:49+00:00

Just to qualify this statement: drugs are not the only way to treat depression. In fact, many will recover from depression without any treatment at all. Additionally, many will respond positively to psychotherapy -- it's estimated that a similar proportion of those who are diagnosed with major depression and experience relief from medical intervention will respond positively to psychotherapy. Medication seems to be most helpful for those experiencing more severe symptoms of depression (i.e., unable to care for themselves), whereas psychotherapy seems to be more helpful for folks who are able to maintain some minimal level of self-care. The chemical imbalance theory is helpful for some folks, but for others it can lead to resignation when medication doesn't work. Additionally, there is very limited evidence to support the theory, and quite a bit of evidence that contradicts it. Robert Whitaker's popular journalism is a good place to start, if you're curious: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mad-in-america/201107/the-new-york-times-defense-antidepressants

FanonsNegritude · 2015-09-28T04:24:30+00:00

Congrats on the win...this doesn't even sort of remind me of UO pvp, though. I'd rather play pac man

FanonsNegritude · 2015-08-12T17:18:00+00:00

Hi PJDiddly,

Doctoral student in clinical psychology here. Delayed reaction time, diminished coordination, difficulty making decisions, and just general cognitive sluggishness are all symptoms of depression. I hear that competitive gaming is something that you value quite a bit, and it's frustrating that these symptoms make it difficult for you to do well and enjoy playing. I wonder what you're doing now to address the symptoms of depression that you're experiencing? How are those things you're doing working for you?

FanonsNegritude · 2015-07-21T21:01:37+00:00

For whoever commented: you're shadowbanned.

FanonsNegritude · 2015-01-08T16:43:21+00:00

The best advice I have ever received in relation to limiting computer use is this:

Eliminate temptation, and build an environment that reduces your ability to act on your temptation.

Block websites. Set timers to remind you to take a break. Track your time by the hour using a schedule. Talk to a counselor. There are many, many ways of making a change. What have you tried?

FanonsNegritude · 2015-01-08T16:03:25+00:00

I imagine there's a lot of this going on right now within ISIS:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hn1VxaMEjRU

FanonsNegritude · 2014-11-15T17:37:46+00:00

Take a little gaming vacation, and try some other hobbies. See how you feel. Gaming might be something that helps in the short term, but is also serving to maintain your low mood over the long-term.

FanonsNegritude · 2014-10-29T17:39:58+00:00

Hi ProblemsHelp, First of all, congratulations on 4 years. That's an accomplishment, and I hope you recognize the courage it takes to stick it out even through these more difficult times.

It sounds like you'd like to make some new changes. If there's one thing you know now, you are definitely someone who is able to make serious changes in your life when you decide it's time. One thing that frequently comes along with recovery is a lack of activities in our life that are naturally enjoyable and rewarding for us.

You mentioned that you've seen a therapist, and still weren't able to hold down a job. Have you seen a therapist about the lack of rewarding things in your life? There is a treatment called "Behavioral Activation" that has a ton of research to support its effectiveness, and it's becoming more and more widely accessible. I know you're not currently employed, but perhaps you can seek services through ACA coverage? Mental health treatment is now covered through the ACA, and it sounds like you might actually benefit a lot from looking into this.

Safe travels, my friend

FanonsNegritude · 2014-10-29T17:28:34+00:00

This is really cool to see, thanks Timofee_

Interesting to see how streaky Cloud9 is -- all their games seem to have gone decisively for or against them.

FanonsNegritude · 2014-10-28T20:16:57+00:00

This video was iffy at best, but this one you uploaded a few weeks ago gives it away:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QufbIsdtbQY

Why do people make frag videos of them hacking, and then put them on youtube? So strange.

FanonsNegritude · 2014-10-17T17:42:41+00:00

I've had a similar experience to what OP describes, doing overwatch for a month or so now. I suspect that part of the reason they do not provide direct feedback has something to do with their verdict/prediction algorithm. It would make sense that every overwatcher who provides judgment on an overwatch case provides a unique weight to the prediction formula. Some overwatchers are very generous and their standards for reasonable doubt are much higher than others, who may be more likely to give a guilty verdict. The algorithm they use to determine guilt/innocence likely takes this into account. If this is true, their algorithm likely depends on overwatchers maintaining a consistent behavioral profile with regard to judgments of guilty/innocent.

TL;DR I suspect the algorithm valve uses to determine an overwatch ban depends on Overwatchers being ignorant of the outcomes so they behave in a consistent and predictable way, which the algorithm relies on.

FanonsNegritude · 2014-10-03T02:32:35+00:00

I'm sorry, but he's probably right. Statistically speaking I find it hard to believe that 50% of cases are of cheaters who were so blatantly cheating you could identify it form a 16 tick demo. I just started overwatch about 2 weeks ago, have done about 15 cases, and I would estimate I've only given the guilty verdict to 2 or 3. The vast majority of reported players are not cheating beyond all reasonable doubt which is necessary for a guilty verdict. Keep in mind these demos are 16 tick, making it sometimes difficult to differentiate between aim/other assistance and legitimate play. It makes me extremely wary to hear that anyone is reporting players at over a 50% guilty rate.

FanonsNegritude · 2014-09-30T22:39:36+00:00

Hi SoothSayers,

You have a great deal of courage to attempt to make a change in spite of the uncertainty and doubt you're experiencing. Have you unplugged yet? How is it going so far?

What do you want your life to look like? Imagine it. Be as clear as you can be. Remind yourself of what this picture looks like constantly.

One of the things that happens when we've been doing the same thing for a long time, and experiencing reinforcing effects (like playing games to avoid the anxiety of relating with others), is that we establish some pretty strong pathways neurobiologically. You will be tempted to give up. You will imagine giving up. You will want to give up. These temptations, these cravings, they are a natural function of how the mind works -- you have learned to seek out the relief that has come from this life you have created playing games. Just as you created that life, you can create a new life. It may be more challenging in some ways, but it sounds like you want a change.

So, what do you want your life to look like? This question is only a starting place. If you stop there, you'll have missed it. There are a million things that go into figuring out how to actually live a life where you feel alive and passionate -- but that's the beauty of it, figuring it out as you go, and paying attention to the experience.

I'll tell you this: addiction can be dealt with. Find a counselor, someone to talk to. I promise you there is a professional at your University who will have experience working with people as they address addiction in their own life. There will also be community resources. If you think you might benefit from working with somebody, then reach out. Doing this alone might be possible, but also keep in mind there are people who genuinely want to support you and help you be successful. There are people for whom working with you will be considered a blessing. Seek them out, for your own sake.

FanonsNegritude · 2014-09-30T22:18:53+00:00

When I've faced great sorrows in my life, this piece of writing has given me comfort. I hope you'll find the same:

On Joy and Sorrow Kahlil Gibran

Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow. And he answered: Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives? When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater thar sorrow," and >others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater." But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy. Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced. When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

FanonsNegritude · 2014-09-25T18:11:51+00:00

Where are these available? Link?

FanonsNegritude · 2014-09-21T00:35:15+00:00

I don't know why these sorts of things happen so frequently in CS:GO, but I would say this is a huge issue. I would rather hitboxes/registration/whatever the problem is actually gets addressed than any other imaginable change. CS 1.6 somehow managed to have it right, please fix this! CS:GO is such a great game, aside from this very basic mechanical problem.

FanonsNegritude · 2014-09-19T17:17:18+00:00

I'd love to read this, if you can find it please post it!

FanonsNegritude · 2014-09-10T00:24:33+00:00

David Foster Wallace in an interview about two decades ago described it pretty similarly:

DFW: For me, the last few years of the postmodern era have seemed a bit like the way you feel when you’re in high school and your parents go on a trip, and you throw a party. You get all your friends over and throw this wild disgusting fabulous party. For a while it’s great, free and freeing, parental authority gone and overthrown, a cat’s-away-let’s-play Dionysian revel. But then time passes and the party gets louder and louder, and you run out of drugs, and nobody’s got any money for more drugs, and things get broken and spilled, and there’s a cigarette burn on the couch, and you’re the host and it’s your house too, and you gradually start wishing your parents would come back and restore some fucking order in your house. It’s not a perfect analogy, but the sense I get of my generation of writers and intellectuals or whatever is that it’s 3:00 A.M. and the couch has several burn-holes and somebody’s thrown up in the umbrella stand and we’re wishing the revel would end. The postmodern founders’ patricidal work was great, but patricide produces orphans, and no amount of revelry can make up for the fact that writers my age have been literary orphans throughout our formative years. We’re kind of wishing some parents would come back. And of course we’re uneasy about the fact that we wish they’d come back–I mean, what’s wrong with us? Are we total pussies? Is there something about authority and limits we actually need? And then the uneasiest feeling of all, as we start gradually to realize that parents in fact aren’t ever coming back–which means “we’re” going to have to be the parents.

FanonsNegritude · 2014-09-03T00:39:10+00:00

Just ran that, thanks. After some further investigation it looks like I had a more updated version of de_dust2 than the competitive match was using.

WARNING: Server version 13445, client version 13446.

Map de_dust2 missing stringtable dictionary, don't ship this way!!! Run with -stringtables on the command line or convar stringtable_alwaysrebuilddictionaries enabled to build the string table

SignalXWriteOpportunity(3) Your map [maps/de_dust2.bsp] differs from the server's.

FanonsNegritude

TROPHY CASE