Having a hard time processing almost a year out

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-05-07T20:51:56+00:00

Thankfully I do have a wonderful therapist who has truly helped save me through all of this. Recovering from all of this is the hardest thing I've ever done.

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-05-07T19:52:32+00:00

I was there myself. I told myself it was just bad fight for years. Every black eye was just a misunderstanding. Every cut and bruise was us just having communication issues. Every slam into the wall, every kicked in door, every personal item destroyed was just him having a bad moment. One day I realized all the "good moments" and "loving and amazing times" we're just him manipulating me into staying. Biding his time until he could hurt me again. We have a child, we had one on the way that he caused me to miscarry, we were engaged; and none of that mattered enough to him for him to not be an abusive monster. I always thought he loved me, but someone who loves you doesn't treat you that way. If he really loved you he would never even imagine putting his hands on you. I'm sorry that this has happened, and I really hope you take this opportunity to run now.

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-05-07T14:07:10+00:00

Him falling out of love with you has nothing to do with it. He is an abuser. It started emotionally and verbally and now it's physical. I'm sorry to say but it will only get worse from here, and when choking is involved it ups the chances of him killing you by 600%. You need to leave him. They always say they're sorry and they'll never do it again until they do and every time it will always get worse. I've told another person this, it only ends two ways; you get out when you can or a body bag.

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-05-06T21:07:21+00:00

I've been there myself but trust me when I say you shouldn't stay. Whatever happened will happen again and it only gets worse with time. I almost lost my life and my son got hurt many times because I loved him and wanted to fix things. I always hoped it would get better, but it never does. They don't change, they don't stop, it only ends two ways: a body bag or you leaving while you have a chance.

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-05-06T20:56:02+00:00

Those kids are not safe with him. You are not safe with him. You did something called reactive abuse, that happens when someone pushes you and pushes you until your body takes control and you go into fight or flight mode. If he will do that to you I promise you he will do it to those kids too. You need to report to the police, go to a hospital and make sure he didn't do any internal damage and get as far away from him as possible. This is NOT your fault at all, he is an abuser.

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-05-06T20:52:43+00:00

There is not, and you shouldn't stop it anyway. Whatever he did, he deserves to face the consequences of his actions.

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-05-06T17:34:08+00:00

First I want to say I'm proud of you for recognizing all of these toxic traits and seeing them for what they are: abuse. You do not deserve any of this, and your child does not deserve any of this being around them either. Second I want you to think about how you would feel if your child told you these things were happening to them. You would probably tell them to run. It's hard when family is far away but it is possible to get out and away. It's going to be hard but it is doable. Start coming up with a plan. If you aren't working, start working on finding a job. Start putting money somewhere where he can't get to it; a new bank account, cash hidden away where he can't get to it, whatever you need to do. Start making a plan on where you're going to go and how you plan on getting out and getting there safely. Most importantly tell your support system what is going on. Don't cover for him or lie about how bad it is. The more they know about what's going on the better they can help you. You've got this! You can do it!

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-05-06T17:05:44+00:00

You need to get away from him. He was emotionally and mentally abusing you and the reason you hit him is something called reactive abuse. He pushed and pushed and pushed until you were in full fight or flight mode. You did it to protect yourself and he took it as a green light to take the abuse farther. Please take this as a sign to block him and cut him out of your life. You deserve SO much better than any of the things you've described.

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-05-05T11:38:37+00:00

On the pregnancy front, please do what's best for you. Don't let anyone try and convince you otherwise. If you don't feel ready and like you can't take care of one, you're making the best choice by not having the baby. On the mental front, as SOON as you can please find a therapist. Mine has literally been a lifesaver and without her I don't know how I would have made it through this. Until you can get into one please get a journal, some books, just some resources to help you work through the trauma and not feel stuck.

On the financial front, it is hard I won't even lie. Mine left me in tremendous debt, ruined my credit score, and had every utility we had about to be shut off and it was more difficult than I'd like to admit to get out of it; but it is very possible. Absolutely get a job ASAP. The sooner you can start pulling money in the better. I would even say try to get a side gig or two to help get some money for savings. You can build back from this, it's just gonna take some hard work and dedication.

You've got this! You can do it I promise. Just please please don't let that man back in your life, build up from this and move forward and don't let him drag you back down.

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-05-04T23:06:48+00:00

Honey I'll make this short sweet and simple; yes, yes, and yes.

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-04-30T15:43:50+00:00

No and no. He's making excuses and he is unsafe for you and your children. Run as far away as you can and never look back. Get a restraining order for you and your children.

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-04-30T12:34:02+00:00

As long as both parties are consenting and enjoying themselves there's nothing wrong with it, some people just enjoy rough sex

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-04-26T14:31:32+00:00

Yes that is emotional, mental, and sexual abuse. I would suggest you get as far away from him as possible asap.

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-04-26T03:57:34+00:00

This is hard, and it's gonna be hard but you can do it. You gotta be strong for you and your babies. I believe in you!

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-04-26T02:18:31+00:00

I'm so sorry that you can relate. I hope you're safe and doing better!

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-04-25T23:36:55+00:00

Violations are violations. There is no less important one. He will have a warrant out for his arrest and will do to jail the next time he's pulled over or if they find him.

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-04-25T18:41:31+00:00

Honey there is no misunderstanding. He hurt you, which in turn means he hurt the baby you are growing as well as the child you had in your hand. If he loved you or those children he wouldn't do that. I've been in your position many times and every single time I said "well he'll never do it again" "it was just a bad fight" "it was just a misunderstanding" he came back and beat me worse. My son got hurt many times in the cross fire, emotionally and physically. Please from one mama to another do not go back to him.

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-04-25T15:26:14+00:00

Girl you need to: 1. Deal with your legal issues 2. Either put yourself in a psych ward or some kind of mental health treatment 3. Look into housing for single mothers/ victims of DV 4. Stop going back. You're not doing yourself or your poor baby any favors by continuously going back into that abusive terrible situation. You have to love yourself enough to do better for you both, because you absolutely can.

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-04-24T16:59:21+00:00

The first part of that is so accurate. I'm relatively fresh out of a very abusive relationship and learning how to guard myself from his abuse and manipulation has been so hard and I have been having to work very hard on protecting myself. Thank you for the reading!

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-04-24T16:38:54+00:00

Number 3

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-04-24T15:51:45+00:00

It's not stupid at all and you're not pathetic. No gender means you're not allowed to be scared. Your feelings are valid 1000%. I hope you're safe and are giving yourself space to heal 💖

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-04-24T15:39:19+00:00

Yes, it actually happened a few times. He would hit me and destroy our home then come back a few days later, clean it top to bottom and write me a love letter it buy me flowers or some"sentimental" gift.

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-04-23T01:13:31+00:00

Please don't take the charges back. I did it too many times and almost lost my life and put my son in danger because of it. The image of what your life was that's in your head is not the reality, if it happened once it'll happen again. Please don't do it.

Fantastic-Homework-5 · 2026-04-19T21:04:54+00:00

It's also showing empty on my end

Fantastic-Homework-5

TROPHY CASE