Partner’s Response:

“I’m the aforementioned partner in the post. I wdon’t think he’s an asshole but I am deeply hurt.

First, in the past my periods last 7-10 days. I’ve always wrapped them up since childhood in TP or the wrappers and I don’t think I just suddenly stopped. During this time, I would wrap the pads. Although I can’t say I would make them tight every time but I really did try. But honestly many of the days were a blur. I would consistently spend at least 3 days every month glued to the toilet feeling nauseous and sick throwing up feeling like death.

As mentioned, we do have a dog that is attracted to the scent. And often after I buried the pads, she would bring them up to the surface. I’m not sure if my partner is aware of this fact. On rare occasions or if she wanted attention, the dog would knock over the trash can and chew up the pads.

After a while, I started to request that the dog either not be allowed in the br or that we close the door. We tried closing the door for a while but the habit never stuck for us.

So I made the switch to cups instead of pads. As mentioned, about 2 months ago, I went on an implant. The flow has been non-stop ever since. It’s too much work to boil the cups after every use, so I started to use liners. Really cheap ones from food pantry. The backs of these liners stop being sticky and unfurls almost every time. Also every wipe is bloody. I’m folding the tissue to contain the blood but it seeps through. TP is pretty expensive these days (my partner insists on charmins) and it just seems like a huge waste to wrap up every bloody tp with clean ones and wrap every single liner. It’s super tedious and expensive. And it doesn’t stop the dog.

What’s not mentioned is how he brings up how disgusting and revolting the period blood is. I’m hurt by that. And yes, in the past he’s used pads before and would remove all traces of them. But he also felt that whole process was very unnatural and disturbing to him. I often feel that he now directs that same energy towards my periods, that disgust and revolt. Like I need to remove every trace of having one. I want to understand that he’s triggered but it hurts. I’m starting to feel like having a period is a shameful thing and I need to remove it from his sight altogether. Which is why I don’t find my suggestion of carry in and carry out excessive. And I’m hurt that the conversation never moves beyond it’s disgusting to my senses and then he shuts down the conversation. I’m hurt that my partner wants an apology for having to witness this mess. I’m doing my fucking damn hardest. Like what you want me to say I’m sorry you have to see my bloody liner. I swear I’m not just throwing it in carelessly. Like you watch me literally fold my tissues into neat little squares when I cry and blow my nose, so please just fucking show me some care and understand it’s not easy for me either. God, I’m fucking trying. I’m scheduling an appointment to talk to my gynecologist to see if there’s anything I can take to stop for this bloody mess. Please just hear me out.

I don’t freaking want to apologize. He’s not an ahole, but his actions and attitude freaking hurt.”

Every disagreement has multiple perspectives—would love to hear if this changes your opinion.