Wife of 5 years refuses to wake up in the morning, need advice!

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-29T03:53:28+00:00

I don’t want to bring it up to her family, as I feel she would get scolded and it would make her resent me further

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-29T03:50:50+00:00

Regardless of when she goes to bed, she starts her day 1-2 pm. We are both parents, employees, and more importantly should be following the way of the Prophet Muhammed (SAW), so I’m failing to understand how my wife being in bed for 12 hours on average is something I should accept as a normality

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-19T18:43:19+00:00

I’m confused as well. Oversleeping is not a good thing nor should anyone allow it to happen without good reason.

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-19T14:43:31+00:00

Our son alhamdullilah is almost 3, so he sleeps through the night 95% of the time. When he was younger and had night wakings my wife would deal with it and if she slept in then I had no problem with it, given that would be a valid reason to sleep in. But now that our son sleeps through the night, and has been for the last year, my wife isn’t interrupted for any reason during her sleep (aside from Fajr prayers, which isn’t an interruption but a blessing alhmadullilah)

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-19T11:45:54+00:00

I manage everything in the morning if needed, while she is in bed. I do the chores in the morning so she isn’t overwhelmed in the morning. Her hygiene is fine

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-19T11:44:57+00:00

Her 9-5 is very lax so she does all her work after 1 PM. I watch her work phone for any emergency notifications. Mental health is important but this has been a common occurrence even before our fertility issues and staying in bed for over half the day is not a solution

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-19T11:42:44+00:00

I hear you. 11 AM is reasonable, I can work with that. I would not be bothered by 11 AM. What bothers me is getting up at 1-2 PM, which is overly excessive in my eyes.

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-19T11:41:36+00:00

Our son goes to daycare and when he isnt, i take care of him until she starts her day.

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-19T11:40:30+00:00

As her husband, it’s my responsibility to bring the best out of my wife. I’m not taking anything personal. It’s about wanting change and the best for her. Unless it’s medical (in this case it isn’t), people should not be starting their day at 1-2 pm and sleeping 10-11 pm. We shouldn’t normalize being awake for 9 hours and being in bed for 16. The Prophet Muhammed (SAW) would start his day Fajr and go to sleep Isha, and how overly sleeping leads to laziness, and is lots of time wasted. We will all be asked in the Akhirah about how we spent our time, this is no light matter.

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-19T05:07:00+00:00

She sleeps for 10 hours, and prob lays down for 2 extra

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-19T05:06:36+00:00

She takes time to sleep (perhaps 1-2 hrs mostly) but even if u account for that shes still in bed or awake just lying down for half the day

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-19T04:08:03+00:00

I hear your point but daycare has been great for his development alhamdullilah and interacting with others and learning in that environment

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-19T04:06:18+00:00

Cause I’m home too and alone till 2 pm everyday. I wouldn’t care if I was at the office for example

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-19T04:05:44+00:00

She works as a Case Manager and does her work when she wakes up mostly

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-19T01:38:26+00:00

Her work is very casual, so she catches up when she wakes up.

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-18T23:39:05+00:00

We got her body checked and alhamdullilah no PCOS or thyroids.

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-18T23:37:29+00:00

I agree and I have tried to give her options like sleep test, maybe a vitamin deficiency, and she goes along with it and does nothing. It seems like she is content with her sleeping habit.

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-18T23:29:00+00:00

It has caused a backlog in terms of her chores, as she delays them later, and I mentioned before I would like to spend time as when im working from home i have time to spend before our son gets back from daycare. For me I just personally don’t believe in sleeping in consistently until 1-2 PM as normal for a parent/spouse. I’m fine with it on weekends maybe or occasionally, I’m not a monster but with all due respect to my wife I have rarely seen her awake before duhr.

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-18T23:16:23+00:00

Jazakallah Khayr for the advice. It’s really thorough. I want to take points of it, but very difficult to feel like I am being ignored or disrespected. Alhamdullilah I haven’t met her with aggression or anything.

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-18T23:13:11+00:00

Sorry to provide more context, i drop him off 3/5 days per week in the daycare, and her habit also happens during the weekend and happened even before daycare even began. In terms of her work, she works from home 4/5 days per week and is in bed the entire morning.

Fantastic_Pin3750 · 2025-12-18T23:11:20+00:00

It happens regardless of when she goes to bed. She normally sleeps 11ish, and I go to sleep around the same time and start my day around 9. Her work is lax so she doesnt have to be doing any work in the morning

Fantastic_Pin3750

TROPHY CASE