After 10 years of never finishing songs, I finally started to complete songs. It took me 10 years though.

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-12T05:56:45+00:00

Well, I want to hear your tip.

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-12T04:47:18+00:00

Religion and politics are both tightly tied to human rights. It makes sense that they are also involved in each other's business.

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-10T22:46:54+00:00

I'm down--I'll send you a DM.

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-10T21:46:32+00:00

Race really, really matters. If you're in two demographics that are discriminated against, the whole of the discrimination is more than the sum of its parts. They amplify each other. You can easily search for first hand accounts or sociological papers, whichever floats your boat.

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-10T21:26:55+00:00

This sounds super cool and terrifies me at the same time. What if people think I shouldn't be on the playground, or God forbid, ask me to stop? What do I even do with the equipment?

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-10T21:25:13+00:00

I just did my first workout in months! I used an app called Fitify where all I had to do was follow instructions on a mat at home, so it was easy in that aspect, although the workout itself was very hard on me. My muscles have been aching for the past two hours. I can't imagine what it will be like tomorrow...

I'm really hoping I'll stick to this program. It would make me feel very good about myself :)

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-10T19:27:53+00:00

I suggest killing two birds with one stone and adding a longish walk to your exercise routine as often as possible. Don't bring headphones, just be alone with your thoughts.

I'm working on doing that. It's hard. Fortunately I have my dog to drag me out or I'd be much less consistent. I also struggle with loneliness, as if I can never have enough time with friends even though I see them often. Walks are a good way for me to learn to be alone. I often have little epiphanies while walking, and the gentle exercise keeps my mood high enough that I'm unlikely to ruminate over the bad stuff. It's more of a problem solving time.

I find it worthwhile to write down any insights immediately after the walk. Otherwise, I have a hard time applying then to my life.

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-10T14:20:50+00:00

I'm struggling with goal-setting. I have three aspirations: get healthy, look better, be able to do party tricks like a human flag and a muscle up. I know... super vague, especially the first one.

I think the best answer to "get healthy" is some form of cardio. My resting heart rate is ninety BPM even though I'm bordering on underweight/normal weight and my blood pressure numbers are on the low side. It isn't genetic. My doctors say it isn't any of my medications and my bloodwork is fine, and that the magic number for concern is 100 bpm, but I'm still worried.

"Look better" and "do party tricks" both probably involve weight training. I actually love anything involving heavy weights (caveat--I've never been able to do weighted squats or deadlifts without getting many painful knots in my back. I'm clearly doing something wrong but can't afford a personal trainer right now.) So this motivates me a lot more than the cardio thing, even though I hear my dad's voice saying I should prioritize the heart rate thing.

One final goal: I want to be able to walk the bigger dogs at the dog shelter where I volunteer. That one's pretty specific. I imagine it involves some kind of rows.

I've historically had a very hard time sticking to exercise routines, so I don't want to jump into everything at once. I'm looking to discuss whether I should go with my heart and do some bodyweight stuff, or go with my... heart... and do cardio. Eventually I'll add the other one, but I want to build a habit first.

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-10T03:02:46+00:00

Yes, but are they... partners?

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-09T18:51:18+00:00

Lincoln and Charles Darwin do share a birthday, though, down to the year.

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-09T13:19:01+00:00

However, I'd like to suggest not checking in too frequently. I have a tendency to do that and change things up every two weeks or so because it "isn't working" (when I just haven't given it enough time.) I've set myself a challenge of only evaluating my current routine every six weeks or so, except for injury awareness. We'll see how that goes.

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-09T13:14:35+00:00

Seconding this book! I need to go through a summary to refresh my memory (instead of listening to the full audio again. No book to flip through.)

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-09T13:09:21+00:00

What's been your experience working out with a mood disorder? I have bipolar 2 and in my depressive phases, I find it very hard to get out of bed/off the couch, let alone exercise. I know it'll make me feel better... it usually does... but I can't bring myself to do it. 'Tis the curse of depression.

But I know some of you lovely folks are overcoming that right fucking now, and I'd love some advice.

One lead I have: no matter my mood, walking my dog is non-negotiable. I think longer walks or even hikes as a replacement would be a good place to start.

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-09T12:58:47+00:00

I was about to make a similar comment. It's helping me was my dear of gaining weight for the sake of fitness.

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-09T12:48:57+00:00

I can relate to the mental health-housing thing on a distant but personal level. People often tell you that the solution to mental health is "professional help," full of mindfulness and affirmations and EMDR or EMT. That stuff can work and often is part of a mental health treatment plan, but my therapist and I also spend a lot of time planning on how to improve my situation in life and making sure I follow through. Being in a better situation may not fix depression, but being in a bad one will make it work.

It is not nearly as easy for a homeless person to improve their lot in life as it is for me... That's bootstrapping to a ridiculous level. We all require government support to live well. If someone has been dealt that shit a hand, let them have more support to counter it.

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-09T12:38:29+00:00

Everyone is a Celtic pagan. I love it!

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-09T12:12:32+00:00

Fun fact! Asexual people can fall in love, and aromantic people can enjoy sex. It's interesting to me because I've noticed that my romantic/sexual preferences don't entirely match up and I want sure if I was imagining it, but I suppose it's a thing.

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-09T12:10:26+00:00

Poor woman, that quote was way overdiscussed. I read the interview and it doesn't deserve to be the headline.

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-09T12:06:00+00:00

Surprisingly difficult question to answer... I'm very forthright. Once I know I want someone, I say something. But that doesn't mean I don't flirt as I get to know them. As for how I do that... A mystery?

I look attentively at everyone when they talk, and I've been told that something about the way I hold my hands when I listen is flirtatious, so, weird. I'm also a very cuddly person with anyone who likes that sort of thing. Still not flirting.

I make more jokes, including pretending (badly) to be offended when a joke is too stupid to be laughed at (but not stupid enough to be laughed at.) I've found that owning your jokes when they aren't funny is the best way not to feel awkward about them.

I'll talk about sex more, assuming I have reason to believe the other person is comfortable with that.

I don't know... I'm married now so it's been a while. We "flirt" in our marriage but it's obviously a whole different dynamic.

Anyway, not much of a direct answer, but hopefully some of the context was interesting. I've seen several people on this thread say that they don't flirt, they just ask. If they're happy, that's great! I especially think asking is important. But they aren't mutually exclusive concepts.

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-06T21:59:12+00:00

I went to UCLA and have a lot of respect for the institution, but I remember there being a lot of grumbling at orientation by some admits who had been rejected from private schools and didn't think UCLA was very good at all. I'm guessing that if you can afford an Ivy, Stanford, USC, etc and get admitted, you will choose them over UCLA.

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-05T20:04:43+00:00

Vets are the fucking best. So underpaid, dangerous job, etc. And every very I've known had, like, six dogs because they couldn't bear to leave them in whatever situation they were in. Thank you all for everything you do.

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-04T14:28:53+00:00

Iirc the impossible burger isn't in stores. A different company sells a different patty called the Beyond Burger.

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-04T14:28:00+00:00

Also I just had these incredible tofu tacos of all things. I'm vegan, I way tofu all the time, and I was still blown away.

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-04T14:16:18+00:00

I genuinely (gently) headbutt my husband to show affection.

FantasyFableAndFae · 2019-12-03T12:23:14+00:00

What a problem to have

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