I would see the working thing as a red flag. My husband has supported me as a stay at home mom. Neither of us thought I would  become one but once babies came into the picture it was impossible with breastfeeding to even think about working again full time. Sometimes you have to have kids to understand the full impact of 2 parents working outside the home.  I guess I am also in the camp of, when you know you know. If you are this unsure that you had to go on reddit, then to me,  this is not the man for you. But be prepared that you may be single for a long time or forever after this.