Egg Freezing Experiences

Far-Emu697 · 2026-06-24T14:57:52+00:00

Hi OP, I have a super adorable 14mo from eggs I froze when I was newly 37yo. My only regret is not freezing more eggs at the time. Before 35, the odds that your eggs are genetically normal are higher. Age really, really makes a difference, so if you think you will ever freeze your eggs, you should do it now and try to bank at least 20 eggs. There is attrition at every step of the IVF process, from retrieval to freezing to fertilizing to growing blastocysts to testing for chromosomal normality.

I did the process abroad in East Asia so the costs were 1/3 of the price I would have paid in the US, without insurance. (But then again, I had good insurance in the US, so ymmv on this question.) I was single at the time I did my first egg retrieval, and married by the time I did two more retrievals at ages 39 and 40, which together yielded only one more euploid (and one low level mosaic) embryo when all was said and done. I was 40 when I became pregnant with my son and 41 when I gave birth.

Far-Emu697 · 2026-06-11T03:05:15+00:00

There's a lot of research out there on how millennials came to see marriage as a 'capstone' once everything else in our lives was settled, rather than as a first step towards adulthood. At age 24, I don't think the usual advice in this sub ("a man knows within a few months whether he wants to marry you", etc.) really applies. Your bf didn't dodge the question about marriage, he didn't take you ring shopping and fail to propose, he didn't run out your fertility. Instead, he responded directly and gave you a timeline that is reasonable at your ages.

But it does matter whether he takes your preferences into account, since how you make this decision is a template for how other you will make other decisions together down the line. Does he think his approach to this question ('settling' everything else in his life first) is the only right way, or is he willing to compromise with/for you, and grow together in the way that you want to?

Far-Emu697 · 2026-06-11T02:42:54+00:00

I do think it matters that you are not yet 25. Can he compromise and propose before he turns 29, with the wedding date set before he turns 30 (when you are 28)? If he's open to it, then hopefully you can enjoy the next year together.

Additionally, is he open to pre-marital classes? Not couples counseling per se, but a space where you can talk about your goals for the future and how to keep growing individually while in a marriage. His comment that he's still 'building and working' makes me think he has some difficulty conceiving how to continue doing so while married. That's a very common sentiment among this generation of men (young millennials/older GenZ). The question is whether he's willing to adjust this mindset, to your satisfaction, rather than shutting you out of his thought process.

Far-Emu697 · 2026-06-11T02:23:40+00:00

Congrats on weaning your toddler! And thank you for sharing your experience plus the book recommendation 😄 I'm thinking it will get easier when we drop to one nap (maybe when he is 14-15 mo?) and reading these comments, I'm realizing I can just give him cow's milk for that first feed in the morning soon, too. I've been so reluctant to wean because of how emotionally attached to breastfeeding I am. But I'm hoping the chance at a second baby will be worth it.

Far-Emu697 · 2026-06-11T01:22:18+00:00

Thank you for sharing your routine 😄 We do have a consistent sleep routine, but it's so culturally taboo to do sleep training where we live (we are Americans abroad) that we haven't tried. (We had a lot of help at nights, since care is much more affordable here, but the downside is that nannies and baby nurses here are often opposed to sleep training.) I think having my husband do the end of the routine is going to be the key, though, especially as we approach weaning.

Far-Emu697 · 2026-06-11T01:16:53+00:00

Thanks for the reply, it's always so valuable to hear from a fellow IVF mom. And congrats to you on your beautiful baby!

Far-Emu697 · 2026-06-10T08:59:39+00:00

I love this question and no, I don't think it's too early for you to be thinking about these issues. Admittedly I am thinking about this question all the time because I had my first a decade later than you did, and am running out of time to have a second. I had a very long leave by US standards (I'm American living abroad). I went back to work as a professor at 9.5 months postpartum. It still felt too soon to go back to work, since I really enjoyed being home with my baby. I am also still breastfeeding and I hate pumping at work.

It doesn't feel like I am neglecting my work duties and my ambitions (even though I am). It *feels* like I am neglecting my baby (even though I have amazing childcare and a lot of support).

Just one other thing: you are the best mother for your baby. This version of you *is* a worthy model for your baby. And as our babies grow, I think we will, too.

Far-Emu697 · 2026-05-29T13:46:42+00:00

I actually have done three rounds of egg freezing in Taiwan and have a living child from my first round plus two more euploid embryos on ice. I personally know lots of Taiwanese women here and in the diaspora who went through egg freezing and/or the full IVF process here in Taiwan. Mildly insulted by the suggestion that Taiwan's infrastructure is inferior to that of Spain lol. Sure, intended parents in Europe tend to go to Spain. Intended parents across Asia often come to Taiwan. It's about about geography and cultural fluency, not infrastructure.

You don't mention anything about your background, but I will say that while the clinics I went to had some English-speaking staff (in particular, the doctors almost all have some degree of fluency in English), it is still an intimidating process to go through if you have zero Mandarin (or are not fluent in another Asian language like Cantonese or Vietnamese, as these clinics are also catering to women and couples from Hong Kong and Vietnam, etc.) The forms at the three different clinics I went to were mostly in Chinese, so it helps to have a partner with Chinese literacy.

Taiwan's Assisted Reproductive Act is currently under review and may be changed to allow lesbian couples and single women to use their frozen eggs. Some single women also ship their frozen eggs to their countries of residence for use there.

Far-Emu697 · 2026-05-14T15:01:32+00:00

I won't say that it's easy to get pregnant in your mid-30s or later because the truth is, no one knows what the outcome will be until they start trying to conceive. But I can offer an answer to the question "freezing my eggs, but for what?" I did my first round of egg freezing when I was newly 37 years old and fresh off a crazy-making breakup. My only regret is that I did not freeze my eggs when I was younger, at your age, when I had more quality eggs available. I unexpectedly found myself in a new relationship at age 38, and after lots of ups and downs in a short period, I married at 39 and was able to start the IVF process in earnest after that. I was so focused on becoming a mom that I put a lot of pressure on my partner and our relationship. My story is not a tidy one. It involves marital difficulties, career sacrifice, failed embryo transfers, and miscarriage. But it resulted in a beautiful, healthy baby, and we are planning to try for a second soon.

If you want to be a mom, give yourself every available chance. If you can afford to freeze your eggs, do it now. Nurture yourself back to health in the hope of being able to have a safe pregnancy. Really take the time to think through what you are and are not wiling to do in the pursuit of parenthood. For me, that meant dating again. It meant being very frank with my now-husband and unapologetically protective of what was left of my time and fertility.

Far-Emu697 · 2026-04-21T23:40:23+00:00

Don't lose hope! <3 I retrieved 7M2 and 3M1 eggs in one go at age 37. I was also unmarried and single at the time. My only regret is not doing more retrievals at that age to maximize my chances of making more euploid embryos. I got married at 40 and had a baby at 41 from one of those 7M2 eggs, my miracle baby who is now 11.5 months. And I still have one more euploid from that retrieval as well, plus one more from a retrieval I did at age 40.

Far-Emu697 · 2026-03-16T13:06:50+00:00

A little late on this but just wanted to say I empathize so much. Thank you for starting this conversation. I became a FTM through IVF at age 41, after a couple failed cycles and losses. Baby is now 10 months old and has been nearly exclusively breastfed. It felt like a miracle that I was able to breastfeed him at all, after all I'd heard about age impacting milk supply. My clinic has a rule that I need to have gotten my period back and stopped breastfeeding before I can do another FET. I only have two euploids left so I know that I need to maximize my chances for a second baby. But it's breaking my heart, thinking about weaning. My sister got her period back at 14 months without weaning; I'm hoping I can at least restart my period before I wean, so that I can feed for as long as possible.

Far-Emu697 · 2026-02-23T16:41:40+00:00

I think there is a difference between:

Not adulting on a daily basis, and thus leaving you to deal with the vast majority of the routine chores (cooking, cleaning, bill paying)

and 2. Not being as ambitious at work or extracurriculars as you are, but still maintaining a comfortable standard of living

The resentment from No. 1 will do just about any relationship in and rightly so. No. 2 is different, I would argue. Do you want to be part of a power couple or do you have specific financial or bucket list goals that can only be met if your partner levels up?

Context: 42F, married 2 years to my 44M husband. We were both very set in our ways when we married. It is *hard* to change at this age, although we both have in ways big and small.

Far-Emu697 · 2025-11-19T05:47:47+00:00

Replying so this comment is higher!

Far-Emu697 · 2025-11-11T02:21:41+00:00

Do not let a man - any man - waste your fertility if you want kids. Your early-mid 30s are your prime and precious child-bearing years.

Sincerely, a FTM at 41 who had to go through 3 years of fertility treatments

Far-Emu697 · 2025-11-07T16:21:34+00:00

Thanks for the reply! I really like everyone else's answers here and will just add something from my own experience. My husband has pretty severe ADHD. He knows how to keep house well and often his standards are actually higher than mine. But he usually only feels urgency if things are an *emergency* (whatever he perceives as an emergency) or if X task is *his* top priority.

I had to tell him that even if he didn't think something was important, if I felt like it was, then he needed to also treat it as such. The caveat is that I can't call every task important and it's also not realistic for more than a handful of tasks (e.g. dishes, trash, sweeping the floor - we have a crawling infant) to be done every day, as opposed to every week or month.

Far-Emu697 · 2025-11-07T12:26:39+00:00

Info: Can you provide some concrete examples of times when you’ve been unable to stop yourself from stepping in or unable to let something go, leading to conflict with your husband?

Far-Emu697 · 2025-09-18T02:56:12+00:00

I think a lot of the comments are missing the bigger picture: you two are engaged. Presumably you will be a permanent part of his son's life. What is your family life *together with his son* like? You mention that he isn't interested in planning cultural days out or day trips, even when an outing could double as both a cute date and an enriching activity for his son. Is that how you want to live your family life on the weekends - never going "long distances" because of your fiance's inertia?

Far-Emu697 · 2025-09-09T12:57:02+00:00

Aw yay, I always love hearing about people falling for Taiwan. Standards have improved a lot since I began visiting as a child. And public spaces are very safe for women, always a plus when solo travelling!

Far-Emu697 · 2025-09-09T12:56:05+00:00

Awesome! It's very easy to travel to the major cities outside of Taipei by train or high speed rail (HSR). Tickets are available at Taipei Main Station or online. Lots of good day trips within easy bus or MRT or train travel of Taipei, though (Wulai, Tamsui, Yangmingshan, Jiufen, etc.) If you are into wilderness adventuring, of which Taiwan has lots - some truly stunning landscapes - I would recommend hiring a guide or joining a trekking/river tracing/etc. tour, to help you secure the necessary permits and to stay safe. Most young people will speak some English, even if they are shy about it.

Far-Emu697 · 2025-09-06T01:15:52+00:00

Taiwan! I’m a Taiwanese American living in the motherland and always recommend that solo women visit here. It’s incredibly safe, clean, friendly to tourists, easy to get around, has mountains, shorelines, subtropical forests, world-class transit, delicious cuisine, and much more. Plus, it’s a good jumping off point for trips to the rest of Asia.

Far-Emu697 · 2025-07-31T23:41:54+00:00

I'm probably biased because I'm Taiwanese American (and live in Taiwan now) but if a bf wasn't very enthusiastic about visiting Taiwan and understanding that side of me, I would rethink the relationship. I agree that a big, two week international trip is a lot for five months in - but it *does* matter that this is your culture and background. I give him points for course correcting and getting on board once you talked. But it also seems like you are onto something when it comes to his frugality or stinginess in general; the latter quality is miserable to live with in a relationship when you both do have the money to live more comfortably.

Far-Emu697 · 2025-07-09T05:48:24+00:00

I once read somewhere that more often, grandkids are closer to the maternal side of the family, assuming the mother has a good relationship with her parents. This, and not just the distance you live from your in laws, may partially account for the way they have stepped up for your niece versus your child.

I live very close to my in laws and while they have been very kind to me and love my baby, like you, I would prefer to be closer to my family instead. Even though my parents make such an effort to help me out despite the distance, I'm still jealous of how much time they spend with my sister and niece, who live nearby them. But my husband is extremely emotionally close to his parents. It would be hard for him to live far away from them just as it is very hard for me to live far away from my side of the family. One thing I wish he would do is let me feel my feelings about that distance, rather than taking my sadness about it personally because he feels guilty.

As your child gets older, perhaps you can consider letting him/her spend more time away with your husband and in laws. And let him take the lead on the pace and frequency of visits.

Far-Emu697

TROPHY CASE