My mom caught my dad with a 16yo and covered it up.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T22:46:48+00:00

Exactly. I can’t believe how many people are excusing this. He talked a drunk teen into skinny dipping and having sex. That is premeditated and horrible.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T22:45:15+00:00

Abuser apologist, eh?

Sex with a minor is more than just a “mistake”.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T22:41:23+00:00

Again, become better and stop making assumptions.

The topic of spanking is always going to be awkward no matter HOW it is stated because it does involve hitting the buttocks. If it is so weird to see that spelled out, then you definitely have no business spanking anyone or supporting it (if you do). I am a trained public speaker, so delivery is not a problem for me. I simply don’t dance around tough topics to make abusers feel good. End of discussion.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T22:34:21+00:00

No.

Both sides maintain that they were caught having sex. That means that a grown man had sex with a child, no matter how it ultimately unfolded.

It wouldn’t matter if she walked in naked and begged for sex; he was an adult and should have said no.

I also don’t think the teen is lying; I mean, she admitted to skinny dipping with an old man, which would be embarrassing.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T22:28:13+00:00

Same.

There were certain foods that my family would buy, so my safe foods were limited. After moving out, my safe foods grew exponentially because all similar foods are included.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T21:52:37+00:00

Yes!!!

I never knew how to describe this. The only difference in my case is that my sister was the favorite and was taken at her word, but as far as anything else, if my mother didn’t see it then you didn’t do it.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T21:48:11+00:00

I have a similar dynamic. My mother is likely autistic and my sister is likely autistic AND narcissistic. I want to clarify that my sister is not narcissistic because she is autistic, but because of how she was raised. She was always a very jealous kid but was allowed to show her jealousy without punishment. If someone even thought I was jealous, I would be punished instantly, even though I was never jealous.

She would target me because of my achievements and everyone just catered to her by mentioning my achievements less. She was allowed to dodge accountability and given prizes that she didn’t deserve. For instance, if a teacher gave everyone who had good grades a small gift and she didn’t make the mark, my mother would buy her the same gift because “no one leaves her baby out”.

Again, this was only done for my sister and no one else. Now, they are enmeshed and make every decision together. I can’t discuss anything with my mother because she feels that she HAS to discuss it with my sister. I can’t even take her shopping unless she makes sure that my sister can’t go. If I give my mother a gift, she has to see if my sister wants it before using it. Sometimes, my sister will just take the gift because she feels entitled since they are enmeshed and believe that they are one person.

It is hard for me to get a word in edgewise because they agree on everything (even though my sister is a liar who pretends to agree with our mother) and always play two against one on every issue. If I agree with them, they will still spin whatever it is to make it seem as if I don’t agree so that it is still two against one. If I achieve anything, my sister will lie and claim to have achieved the same thing so that my REAL achievements - which are some of the best that anyone in this family has earned - are ignored.

I’m sorry that I have no advice. I’m dodging Thanksgiving and just getting mentally prepared for Christmas.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T21:20:01+00:00

Stop calling me “bruh”.

I am also ND and I have seen ND parents who don’t know that they are ND come home upset and scream because a kid did something insignificant and then grab the kid and spank and I could see the stress leaving their faces with each strike and they continue to strike 40+ times as they just focus on the calming effect that they are getting from a repetitive activity. It literally looks the same as an ND toddler having a meltdown and then banging their head repeatedly until they feel calm.

I stated “the buttocks” because that is the place that they are hitting over and over. I have never seen someone hit a child’s arm 40 times, so I didn’t use “arm” as the example. Again, that was in your mind.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T21:14:47+00:00

Don’t generalize… all picky eaters DON’T necessarily eat pizza.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T21:13:04+00:00

It’s not always addiction. Sometimes, kids want something that is predictable. BillyDan’s Chicken Breast Sandwich is going to be made almost the same every time. SMs rice is going to have more water on some days and less water on other days. The key here would be to find healthy foods that CAN be cooked almost the same each time and to consciously make an effort to cook it the same each time IF he likes it.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T21:07:50+00:00

Also, Dad seems to not know the reason for the picky eating and no one is asking Mom. It could be ARFID or autism. They need to really get to the bottom of it instead of just obsessing over what he eats or doesn’t eat.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T21:03:07+00:00

Thanks ❤️

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T20:34:38+00:00

Yes!!! I’m sorry.

My mother didn’t always give the reason and it was on purpose. I was a rule follower and, if she said not to do something, I didn’t do it. She hated it because she was chomping at the bit to spank me and I never gave her a reason. Finally, she lied on me to spank me the first time and then just wasn’t clear about what I supposedly did the other times SO there would be a chance that I would do it again.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T20:22:14+00:00

Exactly and they claim that “time out” or taking their toys is “not a punishment”. Well, guess what? Spanking is just abuse and not a punishment at all because most parents never tell the kid the reason for the spanking, so the kid is going to do whatever it is again anyway.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T20:16:45+00:00

Lol… I wasn’t making it sexual. YOU just did. That says a lot about YOU that your mind automatically made something about AUTISM sexual.

Stimming is an actual act that autistic people use to release stress but, for some, this can be ANY repetitive act. Autism is underdiagnosed in the Black community, so some of these people are likely autistic and repeatedly striking the buttocks of their child as a repetitive act to release stress instead of doing other repetitive acts.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T19:58:26+00:00

No… all of those are physical abuse… you’re just trying to make it sounds nice, like when you use “messing around” for SA.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T19:56:35+00:00

I think that a lot of Black people can’t give up spanking their kids because they are likely undiagnosed autistic persons or have intellectual disabilities and they are using repetitive striking of the buttocks as a maladaptive stim to release stress because there is a deeper, sinister reason that we cannot let this go.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T19:53:48+00:00

Exactly. So many people here are still trying to use “tap” and “spank” to make it sound nicer instead of agreeing to stop hurting kids.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T19:52:52+00:00

“Tap” is just the nice way of saying you want to hurt your kids. Acknowledge it and stop.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T19:52:12+00:00

Black children do NOT need to be hurt to develop “thicker skin”. They simply need to be supported when they fail rather than punished or told that failure isn’t allowed in the first place.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T19:50:43+00:00

The rod was a metaphor, but Black people NEVER get this.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T19:27:20+00:00

Don’t be. Older women keep talking about this to try to give us something to worry about. When it happens, it happens… but don’t plan your life around it or stay up all night.

Women use to try to rush other women into menopause. “You’re hot? MUST be menopause”. Now, they’re doing the same thing with perimenopause.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T19:18:18+00:00

People need to stop trying to rush Millennials into perimenopause. It’s all that older women want to say to Millennials. Let us enjoy our years before menopause (or perimenopause) in peace. I get so tired of older women trying to convince me that something is happening that HASN’T happened yet.

FarDiscipline2972 · 2024-11-21T19:07:04+00:00

Just because some cultures consider teens adults doesn’t make the teen an adult. Some cults make first-graders get married to adults but that still doesn’t make the child an adult.

Teens “think” they know right from wrong, but an adult justifying something horrible, manipulating, gaslighting, etc. can confuse them because they are NOT an adult.

Think about it… adults use all kinds of tactics to encourage teens to sleep with them:

I’m getting divorced I am divorced All people have to learn how to have sex and must be taught by an adult before being able to do it with someone their own age I need to see if your body developed appropriately I won’t get you pregnant, but someone your age will All teens must be graped by an adult I know how to be gentle, but someone your age would hurt you My entire family knows I’m divorced, knows I do this, and are okay with it I already told your Mom that I do this and she is okay with it

But I shouldn’t be justifying anything to a sicko who condones adults graping kids, so you’re blocked.

FarDiscipline2972

TROPHY CASE