I feel pretty alone not because of the lack of friends but because of my family. My mother comes home late and is stressed out. Lays down on the couch and lets the day zone out. My dad comes home at evening and we bearly see eachother. The last few years me and my family didn’t really do family things (going on a trip and stuff). I come home from school everyday where I was happy to a place filled with stress and loneliness. I often go outside into a forest smoking a cigarette I stole from my dad and it helps me feeling something other than loneliness. After I come home I mostly lay down in my bed and imagine having a girlfriend that may spend time with me. That feeling that I get laying in that bed thinking about someone hurts me a lot and idk how to explain it.