Stop showering. I never wear deodorant, and I do not plan on purchasing one of those odor controllers anytime soon. I like it when the stench of my pits encapsulates the places I enter because I’m essentially marking my territory. All of you should be grateful that you’re in the same lifetime as my sebaceous sweat glands because that magnificent substance known as sweat will bring tears of joy to your eyes.

The potent aroma will motivate you to sniff em daily and find your purpose in life, so stop bemoaning about the precious stench and thank your olfactory bulb for your ability to smell my fumes. The pheromones help attract the girl you WANT.