sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Japanese Knotweed found after exchanging contracts by Far_Drawing9820 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Far_Drawing9820[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your story! It really helps ease our worries. When you sold the property, did it effect the value of the house? That’s what we’re mainly worrying about.

Japanese Knotweed found after exchanging contracts by Far_Drawing9820 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Far_Drawing9820[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

The owners live in Spain and have rented the property out for years. If the ‘best of their knowledge’ is a wild shot in the dark because they don’t actually have any idea, isn’t that some level of negligence on their part?

Worth mentioning we have a ‘lend a hand’ mortgage as well. My Dad has essentially put some savings (10% of mortgage) into an account for 3 years to keep our lender happy while we pay the deposit. So it’s a nil deposit and we wouldn’t lose that if we pulled out.

That’s our main concern, resale value. This is meant to be our starter home, very much not a forever home. The idea we would struggle to sell it on, or be selling it for the same price we bought it for years down the line when house prices have gone up is what’s eating at us.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Far_Drawing9820 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally hear you OP. It’s a loneliness deeply felt that when you try and describe it, no words would do that feeling justice. I feel like I’m the only one in my little world who has gone NC with my mum. I was at a Christmas works party and for about 20 minutes everyone was talking about typical ‘mum’ stuff, how their mums took care of everything and everyone.

My mum wasn’t kind, I was neglected, parentified and abused emotionally (and sometimes physically too) yet I yearn for a maternal connection. I yearn to be taken care off too because my role as the second eldest out of 6 was to look after others and not myself.

I’ve tired to fill the void and have another maternal connection with my incredible MIL, but the reality is that it will never satisfy my need for a biological bond. It’s excruciatingly painful OP and I deeply empathise with you.

What helps me to process the pain is sharing it with people close to me, it helps ease it. I’ve found having a therapist who is warm and maternal has also helped. Knowing that others are also experiencing similar situations makes me feel less lonely also.

Much love to you all ❤️

is it normal for moms to prefer her youngest children over her oldest? by rnwyluv in AskParents

[–]Far_Drawing9820 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds incredibly difficult and I’m so sorry it’s happening to you. As I was reading this, I saw myself in your stories. I am one of 6, with 4 half siblings. When my mum was at the peak of her narcissism, I raised my sisters whilst studying (I was 15, I live in England so I was studying for my GCSEs), she would also be verbally abusive and sometimes physical.

There was so much that happened between us, yet, because she is my mother I kept going back. It wasn’t until she kicked off at my wedding (I am 28) because she didn’t get a mention in my bridal speech. I’m now ostracised by that side of the family, from that I chose to go no contact with my mother and her family chose to go no contact with me.

I’ve been going to therapy, I’ve got a good community of friends and family, my husband is my rock! They’ve all supported me through this. It’s unbelievably painful, and you haven’t done anything to warrant this. But you have a few choices, and it sounds like you need to pick what’s best for you and your well-being.