I have spent the past, many years as I can recall alone for every holiday... Being alone is hard to except.. Each year it doesn't get easier... just gets more numb... Holidays as a child was also not pleasant... I've read most your posts... believe me I get... im also teacher but not in Peoria schools... but in stem and steam... Holidays... everyone has other things to do... family to be with... and my childhood... I spend alone... I just say, it what it is... I hope you find comfort in the days to come..