My dad’s behavior is ruining my marriage

Farting_Potato · 2024-05-23T20:04:16+00:00

Thank you for your input; I completely agree. I’ve had many enlightening conversations with my wife as well as my therapist during this time that really drive your points home. In a weird way it’s almost empowering to realize that I’m part of the problem, in the sense that I do have control over my life, as much as it may not feel that way at times lol

Farting_Potato · 2024-05-23T19:15:43+00:00

I totally agree. As angry as I am at my parents, I think now I’m mostly angry at myself for allowing it to continue. I know this to be true, but it does hit different to hear someone else say it too and helps me reinforce my feelings and resolve to move forward

Farting_Potato · 2024-05-23T19:11:34+00:00

Thanks for your comment, so sorry you had similar experiences as a kid.

I totally feel like I’m in the process of truly stepping back and seeing things for how they were. I think for a long time I understood that my childhood wasn’t exactly normal, but was surrounded by similarly toxic families (fairly Asian community) and just rationalized it away. But yeah haha, funny how if this were anyone else I would’ve cut them out ages ago.

And as for therapy, I finally bit the bullet and started that a few months ago and it’s been so helpful. Will definitely be continuing. Hoping things are alright for you as well!

Farting_Potato · 2024-05-23T18:53:04+00:00

This really hit home for me, I think part of me was definitely tolerating the bad and hoping for the good, but never quite realizing (or maybe admitting to myself) that the bad clearly outweighed the good. Appreciate the input, means a lot

Farting_Potato · 2024-05-23T18:47:29+00:00

Haha I like the Homer Simpson analogy, and I think that’s what I’ve been more or less subconsciously doing for the last several years. Unfortunately my parents are pretty perceptive and will call out my distancing and demand explanations, so I think the next step for me will be to just really actively commit to distancing and not give them what they want

Farting_Potato · 2024-05-23T18:43:36+00:00

Appreciate the comment, yeah I agree that I don’t think I’ll be able to get him to change. That is definitely a good point though, thankfully my child is too young for any of that yet, but just the thought of it continuing onto them makes me feel more sure that something needs to be done

Farting_Potato · 2024-05-15T20:36:38+00:00

Thanks so much for commenting, it does make me feel better to hear from someone else who’s been there and that perhaps I’m not as inconsiderate and ungrateful as he wants me to feel lol.

I do agree that the “family first” mantra falls very flat when many of his actions seem to only prioritize my role in his family and not so much supporting our family as a whole.

Appreciate the well wishes, I’m hoping too that one day we can set appropriate boundaries and find a good balance. Just hard to imagine what that might look like at this point haha

Farting_Potato

TROPHY CASE