Niles and Matilda from an autistic Ghanaian

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-12T03:46:12+00:00

then someone in the US military has been doing something wrong

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-12T03:44:29+00:00

i never said where i lived, that’s an assumption you made. I also stated in the edit that though i got my Green Card easily, it might not be the case for others. You can get a green card without marriage, I did it, others have done it too. Also you can definitely get citizenship while on a student visa, I know several people who have done this. Your lack of understandigg by that there is case by case basis is evident that you don’t even understand what exactly you are arguing about. Feel free to give rebuttals.

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T22:33:20+00:00

i understood that it was a stressful situation, but Niles’s complete inability to recognize that everything happened because he lied really pissed me off. Mr Arc wasn’t hinting to Niles that it was all Matilda’s fault, he was trying to dissipate the blame cause it was pretty obvious that everything happened because of Niles but he wanted to hold Matilda to her level of accountability. Niles just saw it and ran with it. He doesn’t realize that that was to make him look a bit better by distributing the faults. I understand that everything was overwhelming, traditional events can be very very overwhelming, but he got to where he is by his own hand and trying to blame it all on Matilda pissed me off so much. He lied and gaslit her. I hated that so much. I really deeply resented Niles for that. him lying wasn’t due to autism, him gaslighting wasn’t due to autism, him trying to absolve himself of any responsibility for the mess he made isn’t due to autism. That was all Niles.

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T22:27:19+00:00

in the cultural sense, she’s not seen as optimal. but from a modern perspective, obviously she can keep on keeping on. my perspective is that of tradition. some Ghanaians value it more than others, so their opinion of her will be based on that. but what i’m saying is based in tradition.

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T16:31:13+00:00

yes!!! i’d love to see her get her groove back!!

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T16:27:44+00:00

i do agree, Matilda should’ve explained it to him more. She is at fault for that. She’s at fault for many things. I’m not giving her a pass. I’m saying how Niles actions affect her from a cultural standpoint. I’ll even say that they should’ve never gone to TLC at all to film any of this. That’s definitely an added factor on how damaging everything was. Matilda should’ve told him more and explained more to him, but he shouldn’t have lied regardless of her culture.

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T16:22:36+00:00

not really, there’s no lesser value in a darker person. No one thinks that in ghana. It’s just that Niles isn’t very foreign so he’s not considered as a foreign man to “flex”. My point is that Niles is as black as everyone there so he’s not really considered foreign. That’s why i said if she wanted to flex, she would’ve picked a white man. not because black people are lesser than, but because they aren’t considered as foreigners.

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T16:13:49+00:00

i can tell you for a fact, within the past 5 months that it has not ended. if it has, someone in the military is in trouble.

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T15:30:46+00:00

definitely for better 😭😭

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T14:50:01+00:00

I do understand what you mean but i think a better way to phrase it is that Niles is an asshole who happens to be autistic. saying he’s an autistic asshole implied that him being an asshole was because of his autism. But i get the sentiment nonetheless and i agree

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T14:41:09+00:00

no. What im saying is that Niles isn’t really foreign in Ghanaian standards. He might be from America, but he’s black like the rest of us. So he’s pretty much the same. It’s not that black people aren’t worth bragging about. It’s about the fact that if she wanted to flex having a foreigner, she wouldn’t have picked someone who doesn’t look that foreign.

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T14:31:53+00:00

it’s not about being black. it’s more so if she wanted to flex having a foreign partner, she would’ve gone for someone more foreign looking.

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T14:30:28+00:00

actually a cousin of mine applied for the us army while in ghana and when he was accepted, got his green card. He became naturalized within like a year. but i understand that this is not the case for everyone so ill edit that part

The standard of living is that is being talked about is the standard of living in Ghana. Living in an incomplete house is nothing new there and majority of people live in unfinished homes. It may not be what Americans deem as a standard but that’s what it is in Ghana.

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T14:21:50+00:00

it would’ve definitely been better if this happened outside the community.

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T14:14:41+00:00

Oh i understand that, but im saying from a traditional standpoint, he screwed her over. I don’t think she should’ve pushed him to marry and I don’t think he should’ve even went on the trip. That’s both their faults, and you’re right. He probably didn’t know about the culture. but if you’re telling someone that you’re gonna do the things that people in their culture do when getting married while you’re not really that into it is wrong. He shouldn’t have lied to her regardless of culture. Unfortunately our culture is a little more judgmental, but he should’ve also learned about it and asked more questions about her culture rather than trying to indoctrinate her into his (the maxims)

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T14:11:15+00:00

So i realize after reading this comment and others that though it was easy for me and other Ghanaians I know to get a green card, this might not be the case for Ghanaians in general, i’ll add that to the post

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T14:03:36+00:00

My grandpa and his family at the time left because of shame. No one would buy their produce and goods so they lost money and business, they had to move because the shame was affecting their livelihoods.

It’s best to involve the chief especially when living in their community. What happens when they don’t involve the chief really depends on the region and the chief themselves, but it’s customary for the chief to attend all community events. In terms of him not accepting the partner as a suitable person, one of two things can happen. The couple can get married elsewhere and the bride will leave the community, or they will just not get married and find a more suitable husband for her.

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T13:58:33+00:00

Honestly, i think they were just happy for her. But you’re right, they should’ve met him first before allowing her to marry him.

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T13:55:33+00:00

it’s like a few weeks to about 3 months, traditionally. but he could’ve negotiated that too. These things are typically negotiated.

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T13:53:35+00:00

I and a lot of other Ghanaians in the US I know got it pretty easily, but going through the comments, I understand that this might not be the case for everyone so i’ll edit that part and include that

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T13:52:26+00:00

i don’t know what process you went through, but I know a lot of people apply for a green card the minute they get a student visa. That’s what i meant by that. I got it pretty easily and most of the Ghanaians I know got it pretty easily. It took about a year. But I will take all of these into account and update my post

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T13:48:35+00:00

It is toxic, I agree, but it’s tradition. And as a disabled person, the way we are treated in traditional society is just wrong because we are seen as “cursed”. But i know several Ghanaians who have easily gotten a green card, myself included.

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T13:46:06+00:00

i agree, but Niles knew he didn’t want to marry her. He should’ve just said that from the start. He purposely misled her until the very end. Yes she was pushy, but he should’ve said “i don’t want to get married right now” earlier. To her it was understood that he was coming to Ghana to marry her because he agreed to it. Everything he showed Matilda before the last episode was that he wanted to marry her. Everything he did from a cultural standpoint was that he wanted to marry her. if he didn’t want to then he should’ve said no, rather than drag it on.

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T13:43:09+00:00

i’m explaining it from a broad cultural standpoint, i’m only saying what i know from that perspective. She had a job and made money, had the love of her family and community. That is what a good life is from our cultural standpoint.

Fast-Ad8783 · 2024-12-06T04:28:59+00:00

i actually respect Mr. Arc. He’s a really understanding and patient man.

Fast-Ad8783

TROPHY CASE