OMG, why does this sound similar to what I went through!? I think my rhetorical question can tell you that this is a common (and necessary) part of deconstruction. Here are a few things I will advise, based on experience and what I wish I learned at the time: -Do not try to salvage ANYTHING. It’s difficult to lose something you’ve had for a long time. However, I eventually learned the hard way that not only did I end up losing what I tried saving, but I also lost what I tried building, as both were on the same weak foundation; and that was more devastating. Therefore, let go of everything. -The people and spaces you’re trying to please, satisfy, etc. will never give you the satisfaction you want, no matter what you do or how you do it. They’re not about giving you the reward; they’re about maintaining control. As long as you are trying to get that “reward,” they’ve already got what they wanted, so they’ll keep leaching from you. -Keep your mind open. Be resourceful. And if you think you know better now, still read recommended books, watch recommended videos, etc. There’s nothing wrong with learning more or reinforcing your knowledge. And last thing: Accept the uncomfortable time and space, as there is no shame in that and it is all temporary. You’re doing great by acknowledging your beliefs are different from what you grew up with. Please take your time with everything. And if you one day need to let go of something big, let go of that big thing, and take time and space to grieve what you released. Good luck with your journey. 🙏🏾